Women: Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying, And Love Them Let me just start by saying that i'm very fond of women. In fact, most of my best friends are women. For as long as I can remember i've been more comfortable around women than around men. So what's with this article you ask? Am I trying to delve deeply into the female psyche? Am I trying to explain their behaviour, and how it relates to men? The answer....no, not really. Basically, i've had issues on my brain lately about women so this is a chance for a brother to work his shit out. It's a therapeutic thing, seen? I believe you might even call it cathartic. Or you might just call it me talking bollocks, because that's probably what it's going to be. I think I can pretty safely say, right now, that most of what you are about to read is in no way factual or has any scientific credibility. It'll basically be me waffling on about how women make me confused and happy both at the same time. And for the record, I am not even remotely qualified to be writing this article. Still interested? Then by all means read on, and learn the shocking truth..... Part One: Women are different from men They are, you know. One has to only look at them to realise this. They basically look nicer than men. I'm not being sexual here, but women are just beautiful. Not that I believe in God, but when he made Eve he was having a really good day creation-wise. Women have all the right parts in all the right places. Now men on the other hand...what the hell is up with them? Physically, men had a beating with the ugly stick when we first crawled out of the primordial ooze. Whereas women are all curvy and nice, men are all hard lines and muscly bits. And also, whoever designed the penis was a fucking idiot. It's unsightly, impractical and doesn't do what it's told sometimes. I believe women got the good end of the bargain when it comes to genitalia, but i'm sure there are alot of women out there who would disagree. On an emotional level, women are different than men too. Women, I think it is safe to say, are more in touch with their emotions. If something's troubling them, they can talk about it to try and work things out. Most men, on the other hand, are emotional retards. This is a gross generalisation, and in many cases untrue. However, for entertainment purposes and for all the (i.e 2 or 3) ladies reading this, i'll leave it in. Men bottle things up, and attempt to cover up our feelings with bravado and the beating of the chest. (The previous few sentences are based entirely on hearsay and conjecture, because I know quite a few guys who are very in touch with their emotions). I like to think that i'm a pretty sensitive guy. I cry at movies. Hell, I even cried when Ash died in 'Pokemon The First Movie: Mewtwo Strikes Back'. I talk about my feelings, which I think my ex-girlfriend Erica can attest to. I can honestly say that in our whole relationship, which was longer than a year, we never had a real fight. I think this was because we always talked about how we felt. If one of us had a problem with the other, we'd tell them and then talk about it. Not that i'm this super-sensitive perfect guy or anything. I can be a right fuck on the odd occasion. Not because I'm trying to be mean. It's simply because i'm genetically predisposed to lapse into stupidity sometimes. It's getting late, so i've just decided that i'm going to continue this article at a later date. So keep your eye out for part two of this rather pointless excursion into my strange little world.... - Pete (Upon reading this again, it seems as if this article has turned into more of a man bashing session than an article about the wonders and mystery of women. Oh well, if it works go with it ; )