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Women: Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying, And Love Them Part Two So, you've read the first part in this little diatribe I take it? And you're back for more? Are you absolutely sure? Well, okay then. If you insist. The first part of this article ended with me pointing out the differences between women and men. In this conclusion, I am going to write about women's strange and mysterious powers. Read on, and be amazed.... Part Two: Women Have Groovy Psychic Powers I can hear you snickering at the back. Dont believe me? Then listen closely, and i'll explain why this is true. For the guys out there reading this, have you ever noticed how with a simple look women can get us to do anything they want? For example: We want to play with our Gameboy, or possibly a radio controlled car, but a women friend of ours wants to go to the movies. Like some sort of beautiful psychic pokemon, she can persuade us to do this by giving us the "glad eye" and sending out special mind rays. Before we know it, we're sitting in the theatre watching 'Bridget Jones' Diary' and sobbing at the plight of the heroine. Men have no defence for this. We're as weak as kittens when it comes to fending off these powerful psychic techniques. Perhaps this says more about how weak minded men are than about how powerful women's psychic abilities are....actually, it does. Men are weak minded fools. If we were to meet Darth Vader in a alleyway at night, he'd convinve us to join the dark side of the force in no time flat. We'd be crushing those rebel scum before we even knew what we were doing. This reminds me, what the fuck is up with George Lucas? That guy's on crack. How the hell could he call Episode II 'Attack of the Clones'!? As I was saying to Rosey *sigh* a while ago, he's probably gonna call Episode III 'Revenge Of The Lightsaber', or some shit. Big chinned bearded git (who I worship because he gave us the joy of Star Wars).....Oh, that's right. The article *Ahem* Back to women's psychic powers. More evidence of women's Jedi mind tricks can be found in the way they can make us guys feel so good. This is more a personal thing, and I can't speak for other guys on this, but just being around women makes me feel happy. And get your mind out of the gutter, because I dont mean in a sexual way. I mean in a calming and happy friendly way. But when it comes to attraction and romance, of course women are 'da bomb. If i'm attracted to girl, just looking at her gives me an overwhelming feeling of joy. She doesn't even have to do anything, she can be sitting there and one glance at her and i'm a happy fool. This is definitive proof of the psychic powers of women. Either that, or it's definitive proof that i'm a hopeless romantic. Probably the latter. In conclusion, women are great. The end. Tra la la la la - Pete *Disclaimer: The preceeding article in no way reflects the views or beliefs of the staff of Metroplex Plaza. Peter is a rogue reporter,and we are currently attempting to crack down on his writing activities. *