I am the last, but the first

By Xentric

I am the last, but the first, The last of the angels they say, Fallen from my pedestal, Came crashing to the earth, Had my wings clipped, Lost my little halo of light, And with it my freedom, With it my hope, With it my security Laying here wasting day, I am the first, The first to rise above it all The first to live through it all, Along my way picking up and dropping Losing and regaining, Singing my sad songs of love gone wrong, Like a child crying for her mother, Lost in the shuffle of life, Wishing for the flight of freedom again, But strapped to the reality of life And stumbling through the harsh world I feel only one thing, Nothing, Something I wish and need to feel closer to Forgetting all that is good, Remembering all that was And all that is, All that I am left with Sleeping under dew drops and dreams, Dreams of tomorrow, Nightmares of yesterday, Waking memories of the past days Shine their ghastly light upon me, Revealing my shallow face, Showing all of who I love, What I loved, How I loved, And why I loved, Slowly I climb, Stumbling back up to my pedestal, Back to my freedom in captivity, To regain myself-in-denial, To get back my safety, To get back my security