Dramatis Personae

Carnation Goodenough as Rue Headstrong
Samwise Gamgee as Lilly Took and Sassy Gamgee
Balmar Grubb as Timpany Goldworthy
Filby Pott as Dollo and Sigina Underhill
Reginald Bolger as himself
Willemina Took by herself
The drunks and band members as themselves

Dollo Underhill
A middle-aged hobbit, Dollo Underhill looks down on his luck. His ruddy face rarely smiles, and his furry feet shuffle along the ground as he walks. Dollo wears a white baker's apron, tied neatly in the back. His faded green shirt and somewhat tattered pants show him to be of the lower middle class.

Lilly Took
The first thing one would notice about Lilly are her eyes. Their coloir is so dark that they nearly appear black. Upon closer inspection, one would see little flecks of lighter brown throughout them. They sparkle amazingly. Almond shaped, and quite large, they are framed in a thick border of black lashes. Above them rest two neatly shaped eyebrows, rather pronounced, that move with great fervor when she speaks. Lilly's face, round yet not fat, is highlighted by two rosy cheeks and a dimple on her right cheek, as well as a few freckles about her nose. A curly frock of dark cinnamon curls frame her face. Her hair is well kept and quite lovely, moving and shining with her.

Dressed quite regally, Lilly has an air of aristocracy about her. Beneath a dark maroon embroidered vest rests a white linen shirt with puffy sleeves which has lace about the collar and cuffs. A lovely pair of britches, the same colour as her vest, but made of a heavier material, is what she wears instead of a skirt. Fastened around her ample waiste is a dark brown leather belt, which has been etched with oak leaves and vines, with a silver clasp in the shape of an ash leaf. Often she wears her scarlet cloak. Her feet are, of course, bare, and slightly muddy, for she fancies walking. A satchel rests by her side, and a few papers stick out from it. On her finger is a large gold ring with a green stone, and the Baggins coat-of-arms set upon it.

Reginald Bolger
The figure before you is rather short, even for a hobbit. The dandy before you is bordering on middle-age, though at times he still acts as if he's in his tweens. He is pleasantly plump, as may be expected, and wears brightly coloured clothing. The lime green vest, sunshiney yellow trousers, and wide-brimmed purple hat (complete with pink feather) that his outfit consists of may give an onlooker the impression that he is either colour blind, or dresses himself in the dark. A bush of curly red hair rests atop his head and feet, characteristic of the Bolger family, and a large nose rests between his rosey cheeks. Eyes of green peer out from beneath his protruding brow, mischief twinkling in their depths.

Rue Headstrong
A rather "well-rounded" ladyhobbit standing just over three feet, this lass's thick hair - a rich shade of brown - cascades in lively curls that almost reach her waist when not pinned up in an elegant bouffant. Her deep blue eyes are perfectly set in balance with a tiny nose and a small mouth that seems perpetually on the verge of a smirk or a laugh. Attired in a formal dress of deep emerald green edged with gold embroidery, with gold buttons in a perfect line down the front, she looks like a fashion-picture, right down to her well-groomed curly brown foothair.

Sassy Gamgee
A lovely little hobbit lass stands before you with a gentle smile and bright blue eyes. She is round, perhaps even a little pudgy for a hobbit, and very short (barely coming to 2' 5"). Sassy Gamgee is dressed rather nicely, with a tailored maroon dress and vest combination, and a lovely creme colored shirt beneath. Her curly frock of hair, of a reddish hue, is tied up in two pony tails, one on each side of her head. She grins as you from a face full of freckles.

Sigina Underhill
Beside Dollo is his wife Sigina Underhill, nee Pott. Her red dress is faded like Dollo's trousers but not as tattered. A straw hat graces her head, protecting her from sun, rain, or snow.

Timpany Goldworthy
The ladyhobbit before you is likely the nicest little thing you'd ever see. Well, she would be, but this hobbit seems to contort her form uncomfortably around her bumm, leading most to beleive she has been injured in some way. Whereas, in fact, they're speculations are mostly true, the injury has been properly mended and this lady's stunning complexion will attract most gentlehobbits eyes from her odd form any time. Her eyes are the keenest blue - burning with the intensity of the sun, and her face is rosy pink. Curls of uncertain colour billow down across her back and shoulders just as her foot hair is tied in pretty pink ribbons.

Willemina Took
Before you stands a rather tall ladyhobbit. At a first glance you might have mistaken her for a Gent. Her chestnut curls proturude from underneath.

The Mended Drum
A merry troupe of hobbit musicians, a quintet: Lias Hardhands is a short,stocky hobbit sitting behind a set of drums; Glod Matterhorn is holding an old, battered Longbottom Horn; another, Imp Nimblefingers, strums his mandolin and fronts the band with his popular vocals. There is also a pair of hobbit twin lasses: Magdalena and Andromeda Songbird. Magdalena holds a merry fiddle while her sister wields a rusted tambourine.

The Three Drunks
You spot three hobbits enjoying a smoke and a chat together. The members of this trio are instantly recognizable: There's florid-faced Dupo Diggle, one of the Shire's better butchers, and famous in the Bridgefields area for his hot temper; flour-pale Fuzzy Dunder, like his equally eccentric brother Fluffy, a baker; and the third member of the party is candlemaker Nollo Longnose, instantly identifiable by his, well, extrordinarily long nose. They seem to be having quite the conversation, and aren't making too much of an effort to keep quiet

The Great Grape Stomp
Two enormous tubs of grapes, one of white, one of red, with vintners standing next to them holding enormous notepads and pens. A large sign says, "Please thoroughly scrub your feet before stepping into the tub. NO BOOTS ALLOWED! Each competitor gets four tries."

Perhaps you could 'stomp white grapes' or even 'stomp red grapes' if you like.

A small, juice-stained sign lists the SCORES of the competitors so far.

During the Wine Festival, the winner of the Grape Stomping will win 1000 coppers! So roll up your trouser cuffs or hike up your skirt, and give it your best shot!

The Setting

Wine Festival
Inside the Wine Festival, hobbits are everywhere passing from one booth to another, or from tent to tent. Several hobbits are engaged in wine tasting in one corner. Tinlo Headstrong, dressed in his best suit, is standing at a table almost invisible behind a tower of bottles of wine. Spread out on the table are many tiny sipping glasses, some full and some empty. They are in a continuous rotation of being filled, emptied, cleaned and filled again as hobbits return for refills. Other hobbits, in fine regalia, pass among the crowd, trays laden with the small glasses of wine. Hobbits snatch glasses from the trays as they pass by.

WINE TABLE - To check out the wine samples.
WINE TRAY - to snatch a glass from a passing tray.
A large tent sign is standing just inside the entrance.. It reads: During the Wine Festival, the winner of the Grape Stomping will Win 1000 coppers! So roll up your trouser cuffs or hike up your skirt, and give it your best shot!

The sounds of discordant music floats on the breeze. Over in the corner of the festival, The Mended Drum has been set up on a small stage.

The Story

The discordant notes of the Mended Drum reach your ears as they play Her Tasty Sweetheart's Shepherd's-Pie: ...do-run-run, la-la-de-la, ka-plung, la-la-de-la, whoop-whoop...

Rue strolls about just inside the entrance, wringing her hands anxiously. Periodically she glances back towards some of the tents, as if looking for someone, but she manages a warm smile as guests begin to enter. "Don't forget to enter the Grape Stomping, now! Winner takes home a thousand coppers!"

Into the bustling Wine Festival come Lillianda S. Took, trailed as always, by her faithful servant--Sassafras Gamgee. The two are dressed rightly for the occasion--comfortably--for one never knows what a Wine Festival may bring! Lilly has a determined look upon her face, and she drums her fingers upon her chin, as she turns and asks Sassy, "Sassy, dear... have you seen the Headstrongs at all? I am certain I've seen nearly everyone of import in the wine industry, but Dilby and Palto... and what was her name?... Rue, I think. A lovely lass, isn't she?"

Sassy, who is doing her share of gawking, turns around abruptly, and blushes slightly--as if perhaps she wasn't entirely listening. The Gamgee lass brushes a lock of red hair from her forehead, and puts a pudgy hand to her cheek. "Er, no, Miss Lilly... I haven't seen Palto," is her answer.

The discordant notes of the Mended Drum reach your ears as they play The Wise Cousin's Urn: ...ratta-tatta-tat, ta-ta-roo, whoop-whoop, tum-ta-tum, ratta-tatta-tat...

Close behind Lilly is Timpany Goldworthy - looking abit bumfuzzled as she glances around the area designated as the Wine Festival. Her countenance, though, is somewhat divided - be it awe or confusion - as she enters - Dollo and Signia not too far behind.

Passing Bulbimac on their way in and handing over two silver coins, Dollo and Sigina Underhill, the Haysend bakers, make their way into the festival. The two Bucklanders walk slowly around the area, looking at several bottles of fine wine before taking a seat by the bandstand.

Bustling around, Rue nods guests towards the tasting tables. "Do sample the reds and whites both, m'dears - and there's plenty to buy to take home! I must warn you you'll likely enjoy them all, so we've some special package prices!"

The discordant notes of the Mended Drum reach your ears as they play Andromeda's Unsupportable Yellow Apple: ...ratta-tatta-tat, whoop-whoop, ta-ta-roo, do-run-run, da-da-da-daaa...

Hearing the clear voice of Rue Headstrong, Lilly looks up and around, then spots the lass. Waving, a bright smile on her face, she calls to her, "Why Rue, there you are!" Though her voice is high and cheerful, there is still an odd edge to it... as if perhaps... there is some level of hollowness about it. Those well trained to the female gamut of voice characterizations might classify it as... fakeness? "We have been looking simply everywhere for you," the Took lass says with a very grand gesture as she reaches Rue and her stand. "What a quaint little stand, don't you think so, Sassy?"

The Gamgee lass grins broadly upon seeing Rue, her blue eyes seem to suddenly come alive and move beneath the surface with anticipation. "Oh, Miss Rue, hullo!" Sassy says, her voice rising high into the air about. Restraining her hat more securely on her head, Sassy chortles incessantly and asks Rue, under her breath, "'Ve you seen Palto abouts?"

Turning at the Took lass's voice, Rue's cheerful smile darkens, and her eyes sharpen like a falcon's, her lips tightening into a thin line. "I'm sure you have," she says coolly. "Doubtlessly it was a grand challenge finding me, as I've been here all week getting ready. . . ." In reply to Sassy, Rue's smile broadens a little, replying in a low voice, "He's about somewhere, Sassy, but I'm not certain. . .do send him my way if you see him, though!"

Her smile never wavering--that charming, enchanting, dimpled smile--Lilly tosses her head back and laughs musically. "Have you been? Well, you must know Rue, that Sassy and I only arrived in Buckland yesterday--it was such a ride--all the way from Bag End, and over the water!" Lilly makes a horrid face, pursing her lips, but still manages to stay adorable. Tossing her auburn locks about, she sighs, "Of course, Teradoc couldn't make it, he's feeling so under the weather--and Sassy, well she's been simply dying to get to Buckland. It's such a good thing she's got me, you know, otherwise, she'd never get to do all this traveling!"

Nodding in assent, Sassy grins toothily. However, after hearing Rue's comment about Palto, she simply cannot muster a completely gleeful look. "Oh," Sassy whines, "I sure do hope I can find Palto. It's been ever so long since I've seen him, if you be excusin' me Misses, but--he's been awful nice to me, for sure. He said he'd show me 'round the wineyards... and Mr. Dilby said the same thing for Miss Lilly, too!"

The discordant notes of the Mended Drum reach your ears as they play The Immaculate Black Pipeweed-Patch: ...la-la-de-la, tum-ta-tum, whoop-whoop, ka-plung, fiddle-dee-dee...

Reginald walks in ready for some good wine and socializing.

Reginald shuffles in, grumbling about expenses. Still the cost of the festival does not seem to influence his smile. It cracks his face spreading nearly to his ear-lobes. "Hello!" He greets several hobbits enthusiatically, and picking Dollo out of the crowd hobbles towards his friend. "Dollo! Oh hello!"

"Mr. Dilby has other obligations during the festival, as does Palto," Rue replies crisply, looking more at Lilly than at Sassy. "And I'm sure your Sassy is most grateful. . .after all, everyone knows just how. . .aristocratically. . .you treat those you consider beneath your social standing, Miss Took." Casting a pointed, rather poisonous glare at Lilly, she turns her attention back to pouring wine.

Dollo stands up hearing his name and looks around. At last he sees Reginald, and he and his wife get up to welcome him. "Reginald old boy, good to see you! Business has picked up since you were in these parts last. Folks in Haysend, Breredon, and Grindwall are buying our wares, and even some from Standelf and Bucklebury. I suppose a little advertizing never hurt, eh?"

Her rosy little lips parting in slight shock, Lilly tilts her head sideways and furrows her brow ever so gently. "Pardon me, Miss Headstrong, but as you know, I have always treated Sassy as an equal and a friend," she says as she grabs a glass of wine for Sassy. Lilly's bright countenance drops, and she takes a second glass of wine, red wine, and sniffs it slightly. To Sassy, she says, "This wine does smell divine..." And to Rue: "What do I owe you for this?"

Grinning widely Reggie pats Dollo on the shoulder, his complaining forgotten already. "Indeed! I've been bragging for you since I left!" Politely the bright hobbit bows to Sigina. "I simply MUST stop by some time in the near future. I swear, those muffins you gave me were positively delicious. I would ask for their recipe but for two reasons. It is more than likely a family secret being the first, and the second being that I'm afraid my cooking skills are not particularly shall we say... good. Of course I'll be sure to pay for them this time! Of course."

The discordant notes of the Mended Drum reach your ears as they play My Amazing Sour Jools: ...ratta-tatta-tat, do-run-run, whoop-whoop, do-run-run, fiddle-dee-dee...

"Which is more than I can say for some other hobbits you've met," Rue retorts crisply. "And think nothing of it. . .Palto and Dilby would never forgive me if I didn't make your first glass gratis." Without further commentary, she returns to filling glasses carefully.

Quietly - Seeming to feel in the wrong place - Timpany steps forth to Lilly and Rue. "E'scuse me?" she inquires, politely as she can - voice half singing as she shifts her torso oddly before seeming to become comfortable.

Willemina walks in ready for some good wine and socializing.

Willemina yawns as she steps into the pavillion that protects the festivities from the rain about Buckland. "Oh bother!" she says to herself, "Where is that blasted Terabethia? She wasn't at Brandy Hall, nor Bucklebury Circle. She doesn't seem to be here as well." With a sigh, the tall Took sits down on a bench and unfolds a copt of the Shire Chronicle. Skimming from page to page, she ponders as her almond eyes spot an article. "Shirriffs wanted? Oh by the Shire, I've always wanted...No, Aunt Eglantine would not allow it with me being a ladyhobbit and all."

Taking a slow sip of the wine, Lilly lets it slosh around in her mouth before drinking it down. Her cheeks go a bright shade of crimson, and she puts her hand to her mouth. For a moment, Lilly's black eyes go far-off--and then... she hiccups! "Oh, do excuse me," she says, blushing more. Then, turning her attention to Rue, she says, "Rue, I... I really think we've gotten off on the wrong foot. And I hate that. I simply...*hiccup* I simply abhor it when there is friction between myself and another. I adore your family, and I think you are a marvel. Let's say--*hiccup*--that we start off again, hmm?"

With a polite nod to Timpany, Rue stifles a laugh at Lilly's reaction as the Took lass sips the wine. Straightening some of the wineglasses, she smiles warmly, most - though not all - of the chill melting from her expression. "In that case, Miss Took. . .start off again we shall! Rue Headstrong - pleased to meet you!"

"I'as jest wonderin' if I could taste some 'o that wine ya gots there, Misses....Rue," Timpany says, nervously glancing to Lilly before quickly smiling back to Rue. "D'ju mind if I just helped m'self?" she inquires meekly.

The discordant notes of the Mended Drum reach your ears as they play Your Good Yellow Flip-Flap: ...da-da-da-daaa, da-da-da-daaa, fiddle-dee-dee, tum-ta-tum, ratta-tatta-tat...

The Underhills thank Reginard and Dollo says, "Please, do come enjoy the festival. It's just begun! The grape stomp hasn't started yet, but there are a good deal of fine wines to sample."

Reginald smiles and nods. 'That I will. Having spent 100 copper pennies there'd better be plenty of wine!" He pats his rounded belly and wiggles his stubby fingers. "And food I hope! I could use a snack right about now. But then I could always use a snack couldn't I?" He chuckle smerrily, eyes casting about and lighting briefly on Willemina. He waves cheerfully to the somewhat familiar face.

Lilly smiles brilliantly again, her straight pearly white teeth flashing behind her ever-pink lips. She extends her free hand to Rue, and giggles as she takes another--much longer and deeper--sip of wine. "Lilly Took, at your service, Mistress Headstrong," Lilly says with a wink, and the extra courtesy. "This is my excellent friend... Sassafras Gamgee, who is like a sister to me. And indeed, some of the closest family I have."

Sassy, stunned and flattered by her Mistress's kind words, nearly spits out her first sip of wine. Bug eyed, she's left to either spit or swallow, the latter ultimately her choice. After restraining a cough, Sassy waves shyly--confusedly--to Rue. Her pale blue eyes revealing her befuddlement, she asks, "Haven't we met 'ready, Miss Lilly? That's Rue--Palto's cousin, ain't she? Maybe I need my eyes checked."

A passing hobbit snaps his fingers in front of Willow's face and snorts, "Ladyhobbits are not intended to be shirriffs Miss Cock-O-whip. I'd advise you to put on a gown and go back to your kitchen. Perish any vulgar thoughts or you'll regret it. I thought you might have learned that when Mr. Porker had you pinned helplessly to the ground!"

"Yes, take a glass," Rue nods to Timpany. Shaking Lilly's hand, she drops a curtsey of her own, laughing. A slight iciness still in her clear-eyed expression, she says, "Yes, Sassy. . .I am Palto's cousin - never you worry about it." Smiling, she adds, "I'm so sorry, but if you'll excuse me - I'd better go hunt those two down to help me before we *really* get busy. . .perhaps you two will join us for dinner at Newbury - to be arranged the next time I see you today - " With that, she scurries off.

Willemina sighs and pulls her paper over her redened face. "Be gone Horatio Headstrong," she snaps, "I'll have you know that that could have happend to anyone, and if I were a shirriff, I'd probably be more competent than some of the one's we have now, though I shan't give any names."

The discordant notes of the Mended Drum reach your ears as they play Your Soaring Violet Ham: ...ka-plung, ta-ta-roo, da-da-da-daaa, ta-ta-roo, fiddle-dee-dee...

Taking another glass of wine, and paying for it this time, Lilly turns about and looks at those gathered. She pokes Sassy, as her nerves start to unravel with the aide of the wine. "You know, Sassy, the last time I was here, I met a dwarf!" Noting the astonished look upon her friend's face, Lilly nods fervently, "Oh yes, a dwarf... Murimi or Mori or Mur--something, I can't really recall. At any rate, we had some wonderful wine--but not as good as this. I wonder what vintage this is?"

Sassy, with her nearly untouched glass of wine, proceeds to only nod to Lilly in agreement. All she says: "I hope Palto comes back soon."

"Why, thank you," says Timpany lightly, gingerly picking up a glass filled with wine. She takes a sip - placing the glass to her mouth slowly and drinking in a rather ill-mannored way. As the liquid's bitter-sweet taste flucuates the taste-buds atop her tongue, her pallid eyes widen and she forces a swallow, setting aside the barely-emptied container. Nodding to Lilly politely, she quickly makes her way on, disappearing amoung the crowd.

Reginald heads over to the wine table.

Reginald leaves Dollo's side after a short chat and appraoches the wine table, whistling to himself. He peers at the assortment mumbling. "Let's see here... Quite a selection. Perhaps this will turn out to be worth my money after all." He makes to pick up a glass, hesitates, then lifts up a small glass labeled Old Forest White.

Looking about the festival grounds, Dollo examines a number of wine bottles. "Let's see, there's Old Forest Red, Cognac, Brocc - Broccoli Wine?" sitting down at the wine table with his wife, Dollo looks at a few more bottles. "Old Vineyards 1412, that's good stuff. Dorwinion Wine? Can't say I've heard of that one..." After looking around a few more minutes Dollo finally samples a bit of Firemark Ruby. "Ah, excellent as always."

Dollo takes a glass of wine from the wine table.

Horatio headstrong gives the Took ladyhobbit a rather cold icy laugh. "Oh just you wait," he notes, "I'll get the OLC so hot on your tail that you'll wished you never came out of your mummy's womb, and I bet she regrets that!" Clenching her fist tightly, she advances a step towards the hobbit who has a thick smell of wine on his breath. Grabbing him by the tunic, she grunts, "Never say that again...you never knew my mother, and if she were a live she'd be proud of who I am!"

The discordant notes of the Mended Drum reach your ears as they play The Quiet Delerious Fried-Potato: ...do-run-run, whoop-whoop, whoop-whoop, ka-plung, whoop-whoop...

Draining the last vestiges of her glass of wine, Lilly leans back against the table and sighs. "I do wish Teradoc were well enough, though. It's so difficult when he's not around. I feel like... there's this part of me that's missing," blabbers the Took lass, her tongue now loosened by the good wine. Again, she says, "This is really good wine!"

Edging the bottle away from Lilly, Sassy grins shyly, and nods. "Oh yes, very good wine." But her face belies her thoughts, as she looks down into her glass with mild disgust.

After downing his sample glass Reggie smiles happily at his choice. His head then swings to the conflict and that smile of his flckers just a bit. He sets the glass down carefully before shuffling towards Horatio and Willemina. The brightly dressed hobbit with the large pink feather in his hat maintians a short distance fromt he two, just enough so that he is not in any immediate physical danger. "Whoa! Whoa! This is a time of festivities! Sir, I am ashamed of you!"

Dollo and Sigina take leave of the hosts and quietly leave to avoid getting drunk.

"You wanna fight eh?" growls Horatio as he swings a punch, hitting Willemina in the eye. Bearing the blow, she shakes her head, "NO, you're not worth it." Looking up at Reginald with her other eye, she sighs, "I'm going to find a shirriff and let tham handle this fool. I'm not going to do anything that might put me in the lockholes."

Stumbling slightly, Lilly is caught by Sassy, who gives her a cold look. The Gamgee lass sighs, "Come on, Miss Lilly, we're gonna go back now... to the Inn. You're mighty tired. 'N we have a big day 'head of us t'morrow, so let's go."

Not surprisingly, Lilly shakes her head and laughs, "Of course, you're right Sassy. I think this wine went straight to my head--and seeing that I didn't have a second lunch, I could see why--my stomach was empty!" Giggling, the two lasses make their way out of the Wine Festival.

Reginald's eyes grow wide as Horatio lays a punch into Willemina's eye. "Sir!" He shouts and takes another step forwards. Another hobbit has joined him, bearing the build of a worker. Together they step forwards to pull Horatio away, Reginald supervising all the while with the minimum amount of work. "Yes, you do that Miss Took ! We'll watch him, make sure he stays put!"

Lilly walks out of the Wine Festival.

Moments later, a shirriff arives and escorts the drunken Horatio away. Sitting back down, Willemina starts to cry. "H-He was harassing me because I was reading an article on the paper about shirriffs being wanted. He's right about one thing, who'd hire a ladyhobbit?"

The discordant notes of the Mended Drum reach your ears as they play His Dirty Summer Song: ...ta-ta-roo, da-da-da-daaa, ta-ta-roo, da-da-da-daaa, la-la-de-la...

Reginald blinks and takes a seat beside Willemina he pats her back in an attempt to comfort her. The stout hobbit wanders off, glancing occassionaly ove rhis shoulder at the two. "There, there Miss Took!" He says and gives her his biggest smile, hoping that it will be contagious. "I can't speak for the entire Shire, but seeing how you took that blow, I would be glad to have you protect me! Why if I had the money I just may hire you as my personal bodyguard!" He's either sincere, or a very good liar. "If that'd been me that drunken lout had sucker punched right in the eye, I would've run screaming like.. well like.. like and ORDINARY hobbitmaiden."

Willemina nods, "I've had to defend myself before. When I was a tweenager, my father tried to court me with Olafar Bolger. We were at his smile, with his Father Saivlgar as chaperone. At one point he was gone and Olafar kissed me forcefully. I had to fight him off anf run away. My father sent me away to Olga's Finnishing School, but I didn't like it none. After that, he turned his back on me and my uncle, Reynard Took kept me under his wing. My father's been so bitter since my mother's accident...."

The discordant notes of the Mended Drum reach your ears as they play The Unsupportable Exceptional Mushrooms: ...ratta-tatta-tat, whoop-whoop, tum-ta-tum, ka-plung, whoop-whoop...

Reginald twists his mouth to one side, smile flickering as it's obvioulsy had little effect. "I hadn't heard about an accident." he continues, once again trying, even if it is futile. "Olafar Bolger. He's a distant cousin of mine. Quite a mean little scoundrel. I'll bet you'd show him what's what if he ever tried to kiss you again! Tell you what, next time I see him, I'll... I'll... trip him! Yea! I'll trip him and he'll fall flat on his face, and I'll laugh!" The colorful midget draws a handkerchief, plain whate (and probbaly the only plain thing on him) from his breast pocket. He extends it to Willemina to wipe her tears away.

Willemina laughs, "Oh that would be good. He is just like his father, a menacing merchant." Lowering her head, she adds, "I'm suprised my appearance doesn't bother you. I mean, many of my relatives think I should be more ladylike, but ever since that incident, I've felt so insecure in a dress."

The discordant notes of the Mended Drum reach your ears as they play Your Strong Great Ballad: ...ka-plung, tum-ta-tum, whoop-whoop, ta-ta-roo, do-run-run...

Plucking at his lime-green vest, that smile spreads accross Regie's face once again, as if it had never disappeared. "I don't mind! Well... I won't lie to you. I mind VERY little. Why I dress like a fop!" He strokes the enormous pink feather thrust out of his purple hat. "People should be free to dress in whatever manner they feel comfortable. After all, comfort and practicality, those are the keys are they not?" He inquires, though that feather atop his hat hardly seems practical. He chuckles. "Perhaps you feel more comfortable dressed somewhat like a gentlehobbit. When it comes down to work it's certainly more practical than wearing a dress isn't it! Why just the other day I saw a hobbitmaiden's dress fly up and over her head due to a strong wind!" In this company he does not feel as if his crude joke will go unappreciated. This nearly brings him to hysterical laughter. "That's HARDLY practical is it?"

Willemina blushes and nods, "I'm currently a reporter for the Chronicle and do much travelling. Gowns just seem to get in the way." Looking at her pocket-watch, the Took lady notes, "I fear that I must go now. I'm helping a distant uncle of mine to pack. He's going on holiday to his son's cottage in Bywater."

Reginald rises out of politeness. "It's been nice speaking with you Miss Took. I do hope everything works out with you. And next time I see that ruffian Olafar, I'll be sure to trip him in any way possible!" He bows himself at the waist in an extravagant manner, sweeping off his wide-brimmed purple hat and floursihing the feather so that it nearly tickles Willemina's nose. "Make sure you feed that smile and help it grow big and strong Miss Took! Just look where it got me." He then displays his pearly whites, cracking open his face as usual.

Willemina nods with a smile, "I'll try and thank you." Bowing, she departs.