I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just 
ssholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd  better have a big dick or huge tits.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they 
are more fucked up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're 
finished

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we 
are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamya relationship 
is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of 
money to take its place.

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you 
when you're down will be the ones who do.

I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends because 
their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.

I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, 
they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are 
taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just
never go away.

I've learned to say "Fuck 'em if they can't  take a joke" in 6 
languages.