Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance....

Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of 
a skating rink... 

Only in America... do people order double cheese burgers, a 
large fry and A diet coke... 

Only in America... do banks leave both doors open and then chain 
the pens To the counters... 

Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars 
in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in 
the garage... 

Only in America... do we use answering machines to screen calls 
and then Have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone 
we didn't want to talk to in the first place... 

Only in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and 
buns in packages of eight... 

Only in America... do we use the word politics to describe the 
process so well. Poli in Latin meaning many and tics meaning 
blood sucking creatures...