The Mabinogian; books 9 to 11 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- book 9 The Lady of the Fountain The Prologue King Arthur and his cronies were faffing around at Caer Llion on Usk one day, when Arthur got his head down for a snooze, Cei ap Cynyr grabbed some booze and nosh from the kitchens, and Cynon ap Clydno told everyone a story... Cynon's Tale Having been a precocious over-achieving only child he had once gone on a quest to find anybody who could beat him at anything, eventually finding a wonderful castle in a fair vale filled with yellow-garbed, generous, lovely people who gave him supper and afterwards told him where to go. As per their directions he rode into a nearby wood filled with wild beasts, and in it a clearing containing a mound, and upon the mound the forest keeper: a huge black man with one eye, one leg and a big iron club. After demonstrating his power over his beasts the forest keeper told Cynon where to find The Black Knight. He directed him along a path through a vale to a great tree, and below it a fountain, and as so told he took the silver bowl there on its chain and sprinkled some water on the marble slab. There was a peal of thunder, and a hailstorm that nearly killed him and his horse, then the weather cleared and the birds sang. Then a "panting" (?) came along, compaining that the hailstorm Cynon had caused had killed every man and beast in its dominions that was not sheltered. And then The Black Knight appeared, and Cynon sallied forth against him, and was beaten with humiliating ease, and his horse taken away. He walked back to the clearing of the black man, who didst mightily take the piss, and then back to the hospitable castle, where his hosts diplomatically avoided the issue, fed him, and in the morning gave him a new horse. Owein and The Black Knight Cynon finished his tale and pointed out that he still had the palfrey, although Owein ap Urien expressed scepticism. Before a fight started Arthur woke up and they all had tea, but afterwards Owein saddled up and set forth himself in search of Castle Mellow-Yellow. In spite of the lack of directions he found it sure enough, and in a major deja-vu experience re-lived all that had befallen Cynon, finally coming to blows with The Black Knight, but he did better than Cynon and stabbed him through the brain. Owein persued the mortally-wounded fleeing knight into a great city, but on entering the two portcullis gates were dropped, bisecting his horse and trapping him. Before the guards came for him he succeeded in chatting up some passing local colour (yellow) who gave him a ring and a stone that made him invisible. Thus he escaped the guards and followed Luned (as she was called) back to her severely over-gilded boudoir, where she fed him and put him to bed. At midnight he was woken by a keening, and looking outside saw the whole city at the torch-lit funeral of their slain lord, including The Black Knight's widow, The Lady of the Fountain, with whom he fell instantly in love. Luned pointed out that the widow was unlikely to feel the same way about him, after which she washed, shaved and fed him, and put him to bed again while she generously went off to do some unlikely matchmaking. Luned failed to properly acknowledge her mistress' grief and they nearly fell out, but the widow finally accepted that she desperately needed a man about the castle who could guard her fountain, and hence her lands, and that only one of Arthur's court was up to the job. So Luned pretended to go thence, while secretly staying shacked up with Owein, until eventually presenting him to the widow as a recent arrival. Unfortunately the lady was not fooled, instantly marking Owein as her husband's killer, and had to think about it. After consulting her people she married Owein, and the people loved him, and he became the new lord and guardian. Arthur Follows Three years later back in Caer Llion Arthur began to miss his old friend, and set off after him with an army of three thousand (not counting camp followers) guided by Cynon. Once again they stayed at the castle where yellow never went out of fashion, met the forest keeper, came to the fountain, and Cei volunteered to sprinkle the water on the slab, killing several of Arthur's retinue with the resultant hail storm. Again a black knight appeared and challenged Cei, and threw him, and did it again the next day, and then every other man in Arthur's court except for Arthur and Gwalchmei. Then Gwalchmei challenged the black night and they fought all day, until Gwalchmei's helm was dislodged and Owein (for it was he) recognised his cousin, then vice versa, then they got pathetically apologetic and each claimed to have surrendered first. After kissing and making up Owein took them all back to his place for the feast he had been preparing for three years, and after a record three-month piss-up he persuaded the reluctant Lady of the Fountain to allow him to go back to Britain with the lads for three months. But once home, he stayed. Owein's Shame Three years later a yellow-garbed maiden appeared at Caer Llion, berated Owein and took back his wedding ring, after which he went mad and wandered the desolate places as a hairy naked wildman. He lived with beasts until he became weak, then one day he was delirious by a park lake when the local countess (another one) turned up with her handmaidens, and sent one of them over to him with some clothes and £140 worth of apres-sun. She told him how her mistress' lord had died leaving her with two earldoms, but now only had one castle left, the rest being taken by the young neighbouring earl who she wouldn't shag. Then they took him home and washed him until his hair fell out and he was lovely again. After three months the neighbouring earl surrounded her castle intent on rape and pillage, but Owein took a black horse and arms, rode into the earl's huge yellow camp like Arnold Swarzennegar, mugged him, and took him back to the countess. They then ransomed him back for the countess' two earldom's, all her stolen treasures, half his own lands, and sureties. Whatever they might have been. The countess asked him to stay, but instead he rode off into the wilderness. Wadda guy ! Owein and the Lion One day he rescued a lion from a huge serpent and it became his friend, catching game and collecting firewood. That night he discovered he had camped next to the "vessel of stone" in which Luned (remember her) had been imprisoned by two of Fountain Woman's chamberlains, who by shear coincidence were due in two days to kill her for defending the absconded Owein. So he fed her some chops, and the next day left her and went off to another castle that she recommended. A Hostage Situation At the castle everyone was hospitable but depressed. While Owein fed his lion under the table the earl explained that a monstrous big man up in the mountains had captured his two sons whilst out hunting, and he would kill them tomorrow unless he handed over his daughter for ravishment, and he had decided not to give in. When the big man arrived the next day Owein fought him but was unable to prevent the lion from helping him and it ripped out his big guts. The sons were freed, but Owein had to rush off to save Luned. He found her about to be incinerated by the two youths, and he challenged them, and was in sore straights, but was again unable to prevent his feline friend from helping, and they were slain. He then returned with Luned to The Lady of the Fountain, and took her home to Arthur, and settled down... Owein and The Black Oppressor ...When he wasn't off questing. Once he and his lion found a castle filled with two dozen gorgeous, pouting widows and the corpses of their husbands, all victims of The Black Oppressor. Although he seemed friendly enough when they met outside Owein vanquished him anyway but spared his life when he promised to turn his castle into a hospital. Then the lion padded off and Owein took the crumpet back to Arthur's place. The Happy Ending And Owein was the captain of Arthur's warband until he found his own place: The Three Hundred Swords of Cenferchyn and The Flight of Ravens. And they all lived happily ever after. Until Camlan. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Book 10 Peredur ap Efrawg The Early Adventures of Peredur Young Peredur Northern Earl Efrawg made a living from violent affray, and ended up dead with six of his sons. His widow fled into the wilderness taking with her only women, children and wimps, and the youngest seventh son Peredur, where she set up a peace camp. One day Peredur mistook two hinds for hornless goats and rounded them up on foot by dint of his natural speed and strength. Later he saw three knights passing by, and his mother told him they were angels. He went to investigate anyway, and met Gwalchmei ap Gwyar, Gweir ap Gwestyl and Owein ap Urien in persuit of "the knight who had distributed apples in Arthur's court" (?). In return for describing to him every feature of their equipment he told them where he had seen the fugitive fruit merchant, and vowed to join them. He rushed back to tell his mum, and she fainted. With her out of the way he assembled a naf knight kit using old tat from the stable, and was just leaving on an old nag when she came round and offered him the following mixed advice. Head for Arthur's court Attend church Take any meat and drink you desire whether it is on offer or not Head towards any outcry, especially female Re-distribute all wealth randomly to become famous Ravish all attractive women whether they want it or not The Proud One of the Clearing Peredur set off alone into the wilderness on his nag, and after two days found a pavilion in a forest clearing which he mistook for a church. Inside he took half the meat and drink he saw on the table and a gold ring from the maiden sitting nearby, but forgot instruction #6. Then he went on seeking Arthur's court. When The Proud One of the Clearing returned he was somewhat annoyed and set off in persuit. Arthur's Court Meanwhile, chez Arthur, a mysterious knight had entered the court, taken Gwenhwyfar's golden goblet, poured wine all down her tits, given her a slapping, then told the court "Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough" before riding off with the goblet to wait outside. Arthur's knights were all too intimidated, but then Peredur arrived looking like the village idiot so they all cheered themselves up by taking the piss out of him. Then a dwarven couple who had been in the court for a year without speaking a word broke their silence and addressed Peredur by name as if he were a great knight. Cei was so irritated by this he gave them both a good kicking and mischievously told Peredur to go and take the goblet and gear off the knight in the meadow, and then he would be knighted himself. And Peredur set forth. He slew the nasty knight with ease and a spear in the eye, and dragging the body back to court met a concerned Owein, who helped him strip the body. He armed himself as a knight, and swore fealty to Arthur but swore never to enter his court until he had met "the tall man" dwarf basher (Cei). Then he went on his way alone. Walkabout He soon met a reiver who harried Arthur's lands, and upon defeating him spared his life on condition that he go to Arthur's court and tell who had defeated him, and repeat the threat to Cei. Then he rode on and overthrew another sixteen naughty knights the same week, and all were bound to tell their story at Arthur's court, after which Cei was getting worried. Uncle #1 At last Peredur came to a great court beyond a lake by a great desolate forest, and from the shore followed a hoary-headed old man inside where he was made welcome. They watched two youths playing with sticks and shields, and at his host's suggestion Peredur played against the blonde one, battering him until his eyebrow was over his eye and the blood didst verily spurt. His host told him he would be the best sword-smiter in the kingdom, and then revealed himself to be his uncle and promised to train him properly as an ordained knight, if he forgot his mother's odd advice. He also advised him never to remark on anything odd if his hosts didn't, and that if this caused trouble it was not his fault, but his teacher's. Uncle #2 The next day with his uncle's leave Peredur set forth again, finding another great court, this time beyond a meadow by a great forest. Another hoary-headed man made him welcome, and after tea invited him to hack at an iron pillar with a sword, breaking both into two pieces three times, after which they would not re-assemble. His host then announced that Peredur was the best sword-smiter in the kingdom and had now come by two-thirds of his strength, and also that he himself was brother to Peredur's mother and another uncle. As they were chatting two youths entered the hall bearing a great spear streaming blood, followed a little after by two maidens bearing a bloody severed head on a platter, whilst all present wailed loudly except the uncle, who chatted on obliviously, and Peredur, who remembered the previous uncle's advice. Then they all went to bed. Family Business The next day he went on his way again and came to a forest where he found his shrieking foster-sister trying to perch her recently slain husband on a horse, and she explained that Peredur's mum had died of grief when he left home and that the dwarves in Arthur's court belonged to his parents. He shrugged off the guilt-trip, buried her hubby and vanquished the knight who had made her a widow, forcing him to marry her to cheer her up and deliver the customary message to Arthur. By now Cei had not stepped outside for weeks, and Arthur was regretting the absence of so excellent a knight as Peredur, and so he set off to look for him with his warband, dragging along a reluctant Cei. Business as Usual Meanwhile Peredur had stumbled across yet another castle, this one overgrown in a thick forest and occupied by five maidens and nineteen youths, who tried to persuade their nubile foster-sister to shag Peredur in order to gain his help against the earl who had taken all their lands after the death of their father and was coming tomorrow to take the castle now that the local nunnery had run out of food and drink to smuggle in. Peredur virtuously kept it in his pants and the next morning rode forth to the enemy camp where he out-jousted the captain of the earl's war-band, taking him prisoner and forcing him to give back his third of the taken lands. The next day he did the same to the court steward, and then finally to the earl himself. He hung around for three weeks then set forth on his wanderings once more. The Return of The Proud One of the Clearing One day Peredur met the lady from the pavillion he taken the ring from on his way to Arthur's court, now branded a slag by her uptight hubby and reduced to riding lean, sweaty horses. Then The Proud One himself turned up, and Peredur vanquished him and made him kiss and make up; then he went on his way. The Witches of Caer Loyw One day he wandered up a mountain and into a castle where his hostess explained that the nine witches of Caer Loyw and their parents were ravaging the countryside, and that her castle was next. The following morning a half-dressed Peredur did indeed flatten the helmet of a witch who was harassing the watchman, and she told him it was foreseen that he would spare her life if she gave him three weeks intensive battle training and upgraded his kit, so they set off for the Witches' Court, and afterwards off he went again. Cei's Come-uppance At the end of the day Peredur shared the cell of a hermit, and overnight it snowed. Early next morning he drifted off into a reverie of sexual frustration inspired by the sight of a raven scavenging a dead duck in the snow, when he was rudely interrupted by Arthur's squire and he beat him up, followed by the next 24 reverie-interrupting knights. Then the long-awaited Cei had a go and Peredur broke his arm and shoulder before riding his horse over him 21 times. That's gotta hurt ! Arthur's retinue retrieved the severely mangled Cei and carried him back to Arthur's tent for surgery, and Gwalchmei promised to bring in the still-unidentified long-speared knight peacefully, despite Cei's bitchy provocation. After a short, intense male-bonding session Gwalchmei and Peredur became special friends, swapped clothes and turned up at Arthur's tent holding hands. Then everybody went home to Caer Llion. Peredur Plights His Troth On his very first night in Arthur's court Peredur managed to fall totally in love with Angharad Golden-hand. She told him to piss off, so he swore never to speak to another Christian until she said she loved him, and rode off again (taking the high road). The Valley of the Pagans After crossing a nearby mountain Peredur found a village of black houses within a clearing within a forest within a round valley, guarded by a lion on a chain, which he killed. He met the giant grey-headed chief pagan and promptly chatted-up his daughter, who explained that on the morrow the giant's vassals would slay him. The next morning she tried to persuade the chief to let Peredur live if he swore to keep their existance secret, but he wanted the knight dead, and would not change his mind until two thirds of his host and both his sons were slain. Peredur spared him on condition that they all swore fealty to Arthur and converted to Christianty, then he went on his way. The Dumb Knight With no more pagans to talk to Peredur was forced to wander the land mute, because of his oath to Angharad. He heard about a serpent lying upon a ring of gold, so he slew it and took the ring. After months of speechlessness and sexual frustration he was unrecogniseable, and on his return to Caer Llion was peevishly stabbed in the thigh by Cei for not answering back, but Gwalchmei paid Gwenhwyfar to fix him up. Whilst still incognito he bested a challenger to Arthur's court, and was dubbed The Dumb Knight. Turned on by his proficiency at violence, Angharad said she loved him, he revealed who he really was, everybody was friends again, and he settled down at court for a while. Peredur and the Empress of Constantinople The Black Oppressor MkII One day Peredur was out stag-hunting with Arthur around Caer Llion on Usk when he got lost, and ended up the guest of a huge one-eyed black man who, his family explained, killed all his guests. In the morning Peredur conquered his host in borrowed armour and spared his life for as long as it took him to tell the story of how he lost his eye: he was The Black Oppressor (a different one to Owein's, presumably, or the same one after giving up medicine) and had been seeking a magical stone that conjured up gold, hidden in the tail of a Worm in a barrow in the Dolorous Mound, and the way to the mound was via the court of the Sons of the King of Suffering, the court of the Lady of the Feats, and the 300 pavillions guarding the mound itself. Then Peredur killed him and set off, worm-bound. The Court of the Sons of the King of Suffering Here Peredur was made welcome by an entirely female court, and then saw three dead men carried into the court by their horses, each to be restored to life by a woman using a warm bath and ointment. They explained that they had been slain by an Addanc (?) in a cave, and that it was the same every day. The next morning they refused his help, saying he could not be made alive again when slain, but he followed them anyway, and on the way met a mysterious fair woman on a mound. She explained that the Addanc cast a poisoned stone-spear from concealment within a stone pillar in the entrance to the cave, and that she would give him a magic stone that would make him invisi