1. Your BOS has spots on the pages from spilled brews.

2. When cleaning house you have to specify. "Where is the broom? No, not that broom, where is the one to clean the floor with?"

3. Candle wax has dripped on your keyboard.

4. There are more jars of strange smelling plants in your cupboards than there are cereal boxes.

5. Friends know they can always give you candles and incense as a gift.

6. When watching old re-runs of Bewitched, you find you side with Samantha's mother Endora.

7. When traveling, stranger and stranger strangers tell you their problems.

8. You find yourself making corn dollies in the checkout line at the grocery store (well, I thought about it).

9. You ask for Halloween off, because it's a religious holiday.

10. You start answering the phone with "Merry Meet".

You Might be a REDNECK Witch if...

1) You call the four directions with a flash light

2) You ever cancelled a ritual because of a football game

3) You've ever marked out the circle with duct tape

4) Your scrying mirror says"objects may be closer than they appear"

5) Your child and your dog have the same magickal name

6) You call your quarters north, east, south, and over yonder
,br> 7) You end your rituals with "Y'all come back now, y'hear?

8) Your idea of ritual garb is cutoffs and a tank top

9) You've ever wore ritual robes made out of camouflage

10) You call your HP Sir Bubba

and, the Absolute, Classic, Redneck Witch:

You just might be a Redneck Witch if you've ever performed actual Great Rite with a blood relative...

You Might be a Punk Rock Witch if:

1) Your quarter calls involve the "F" word

2) Your spiral dance leaves bruises

3) You serve consecrated Pabst Blue Ribbon and cold pizza as "cakes and ale".

4) Your secret name for the Lord and Lady are "Sid and Nancy".
,br> 5) You use a "black handled switchblade of Art".

6) Your altar is set on a beaten old speaker cabinet held precariously together with duct tape.

7) Your altar candles are road flares.

8) Your ritual robe has liberty spikes.

9) You circle in a dank basement decorated with collapsing heating ducts and cockroach corpses.

10) The Great Rite involves whips, chains, and safety pins.

You Just Might be an ANIMANIACS Witch if:

1) You're secret names for the Lord and Lady are "Rita and Runt".

2) You've ever invoked the Goddess by saying "Hellllloooooo Nurse!"

3) You've ever ended a ritual with "I love you Lady, Buh Bye!"

4) Your "Guardians of the Watch Towers are Yakko, Wacko, Dot and their Shrink.

5) You've ever based a ritual on the spoofing of a Christopher Walken movie.

6) You use a giant anvil as an altar.

7) You've ever looked at a fellow coven member and said "Pinky, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

8) You've ever cast a spell for the sole purpose of returning the planet to a time "When Mice Ruled the Earth"!!!!

You Just Might be a Techno-Witch if:

1) Your secret names of the Lord and Lady are Packard and Bell.

2) The second degree God name is Gates.

3) You close the circle by saying "Your circle is ready to shut down".

4) The names of the Watchtowers are CTRL, ALT, SHIFT and CAPS LOCK.

5) Candles, what candles? You do everything by monitor illumination.

6) The biggest spell in your repetoire is the BSOD spell - it causes all the pcs in the neighborhood to get that dreaded Blue Screen of Death.

7) The ritual music is the Windows opening theme.

8) You hold a ritual every time you need to send a toner cartridge to that "great ink heap in the sky".

9) Your pagan name is Neo, Morpheus, or Trinity.

10) You can't wait until the great spiritual evolution of man - to become those batteries from the Matrix, all for the sole purpose of serving the Gods.

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