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The bitter cold enfolds the world within its icy tentacles
the moaning winds howl their defiance to the universe, and
the storm shrieks in impotent rage

For the inner sanctum is barred tight and fast
and not a chink can the onslaught find
in her thrice constructed armour oh so fine
she has girded her loins for battle
she has ironclad her heart against the hurt, and
she has honed her mind like the finest steel blade

Thus she stands inviolate before the fury of the storm
ever so smug in the sure knowledge of the strength
of her all-enveloping armoured cage

She hugs the meagre warmth of her pallid life tightly to her breasts
and with force of will, silence the tendrils of protest
at this self-imposed exile from life
In her deepest core she has convinced herself
that the pitiful warmth she has, is what she wants and all she needs
as she wanders through this eternal frozen wilderness
which is her life.

But come the morn that she feels brave enough to risk
a tiny ray of sunshine upon her life
to allow the touch of a human heart to briefly brush just her fingertips-
for this is all she dares to risk-
the awesome shock of feeling once again
shatters the icy crystal cave she had been entombed within

Panic spreads like a tidal wave - for she cannot once again retreat
and encase her heart in ice to keep it safe from hurt
and she keens in mourning with the knowledge within her core
that no matter what may still come her way
she can never retreat back into the frozen death of her previous life

So now she stands atop a hill
with her unbound hair flowing like a banner
and lifts her face to the life-giving sun
and opens her mind, body and soul to the very essence
she has denied herself for so very long.
she feels the glow grow rapidly
until her very being rivals the glory of the sun

Oh, this she knows with utmost surety -
that lurking in the shadows be the very things she fled so eagerly
a very, very long time ago
Hurt will surely visit her again, and pain will sear her soul once again,
But it matters not in the least - for now she will face them square
and meet them with her head held high
and laugh at adversity as it slinks away in shame
for to be a feeling human once again is worth all the future pain

And a final tear slides down her cheek as she now finally can mourn
all the loving, laughter and beauty, which she let pass her by
for all the opportunities that have gone
for sharing and giving and being as one

She dashes the tears from her face and proudly lifts her head up high
and face her future - come what may
For she finally knows her place in this universe of ours
And nay, it can never be again from behind the frozen walls
of a self-made crystal cave.

Naomi Pollock
January 2001