Bill Vossler was only 7 when he disobeyed his mother and stopped with his younger brother to visit the old couple in the house by the water tower. The man and woman held the boys on their laps, hugged them, and gave them coins and cookies.
When Bill showed his mother the coins, she screamed and flushed them down the toilet. “I said stay away from them!” she shouted. “Don’t ever go there again. Forget about them!” Not long after that, the old couple moved away and the event faded from Bill’s mind.
Thirty years later, back home on a visit, Bill glanced at the water tower and it revived the memory. He asked his mother about the couple. “Who were they and why was I supposed to forget them?”
Her face turned white. “You really don’t know?” she asked. After a long silence she said, “They were Jacob and Christina Vossler. Your father’s mother and father. Your grandparents.”
When Bill was 4, his father had abandoned the family. For years, Bill’s stepfather drove the old couple away when they tried to visit. Anger and shame separated the two families. Now that he knew the truth, Bill wondered if he could ever forget his pain and loss.
Writing in Hemispheres magazine, Bill Vossler concluded: “Forgetting is only the final step, dependent first on forgiving--forgiving ourselves for our part in the fray and others for theirs.
Forgive and forget. It is not coincidence that forgive is first, followed by forget. One frees us to do the other.”
We are often stunned by these words of Jesus: “If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15).
Sounding harsh these words guide us into the process of forgiving and being forgiven--a marvelous gift from God for all who inhabit this world of pain.---DM
* What painful wrong have I been unable to forgive?
*Why have I found it difficult to forgive the person(s) involve?
*How can the truth of Ephesians 4:32 help me begin the process of forgiveness and healing?
