The setting sun brushed through her hair.. turning the dark curls to bursts of red highlights... Her shoulders wide... her stance strong, she stood there....Her hand impatiently brushed away the curls that clung to her moist full lips..
As the sun finally slipped behind the hills and the last of the dying rays were snuffed out by the night.. the moon took over...... she slowly crumpled to her knees there on the hill...
Watching her... the transformation of the strong woman who stood against the elements during the day..... to the beaten creature that now hunched onto the ground like the pain was too much to humanly take...
Her dark hair curtained her face until she slowly raised her face to the moonbeams....
Her face streaked with tears... the moonbeams turning them to glittering diamonds on her face.... no more pretense in being strong...
Her dark liquid eyes so filled with hurt..... as her mind opens and she relives things that make her so sad... things that hurt her so much....
The question of why, why, why runs through her mind as her hands grab handfuls of hair jerking it from her face....
Her eyes no longer see the hills but her life ... the two men who passed through her life... one that she could no longer love.. one that she then fell in love with.... the one that she can't forget.
She closes her haunted eyes... as images of his face flickers in her mind like a lit candle gently being blown against... the image of his smile... the sound of his laughter.... the touch of his fingertips upon her body... the look in his eyes...
Tears slowly run down her face without her noticing.... the deep hurt that knowing he didn't want her... didnt want her... didn't want her... drums through her mind.... so much hurt... but she wouldn't change a thing... she wouldn't change the course that her life took her through... she knew that she would forever be scarred... her mind reels back to the last time she saw him.... the way that she asked why, why, why...
His excuse... shaking her head... the tears slid onto her shirt that much faster.... the feeling of being touched by something so right... and to have it go so wrong.... her mind lets the scene unfold from that last meeting... the meeting of saying good-bye..
the final kisses... the way his eyes searched hers, as he said "why am i having such a hard time walking away from you?" .... the feelings again wash over her as she hears that in her mind ..... wishing that he would of said ... i dont want to . i do want you . you are what i want... I am strong enough...
The hot tears that run down her cheeks were the ones that ran just as hotly that night..as she told him .. "because its just a want... thats all... you want a part of me...not the whole me"
love you", tipping her head back staring up at the ceiling...she adds in a painful choked whisper... " please go... so you dont have to see me cry.."
Her mind see's her walk toward the window .... looking out... as she see's him standing at the door reflected in the window.... silently begging him not to walk out ... not to end it.. not to take her heart... and smash it after it had just finally healed..
The door closing was like a gunshot through the still of the room.... she watched him drive away...the trucks tail lights going down the road... slowly the sobs shook her shoulders.. the hot tears scalding her cheeks... as she lets the memories wash over her...
The coldness of the ground slowly seeped into her mind... the coldness of where her heart should be slowly seeps through her body... like the night snuffing out the rays of the warm sunshine.. nothing but coldness....bleakness...
Slowly she picks up what she had brought... fingering it... the touch so cold... so lifeless... so final....
