Happiness... love...
The setting sun brushed through her hair.. turning the dark curls to bursts of red highlights... Her shoulders wide... her stance strong, she stood there....Her hand impatiently brushed away the curls that clung to her moist full lips..
The feeling of his fingers against her soft lips made her smile... made her turn her eyes so deep n rich with love to gaze at him..Softly kissing her, he whispered he loved her...The life that they planned... the goals that they had set... the dreams that they shared... made them one... The glow they had around them was something to behold....
As the sun finally slipped behind the hills and the last of the dying rays were almost spent...... he pointed to the horizon... there was a ship... He seperated himself from her... going to the edge of the hill that overlooked the ocean...
His shoulders normally so strong... seemed weighted with decision... At that time the horn sounded... echoing across the ocean... His head came up...Her eyes filled with worry... He looked back to her... looked back to the ship... The longing in his eyes.. the yearning.. it was there... so clear...
Tears slid down her face...slowly she crumpled to the ground her hands going over her heart to stop the pain that was so intense once again... She knew... She knew she had lost again.... again she wasn't enough...
He came to her... kneeling down ... trying to explain.... He asked her to come with him... to the far away place... the fear was too strong....she said no... the not knowing...she understood... she did...She wanted him to be happy.. to do what he wanted... no cages.. but yet... Deep down inside she wished that..... She just wished that the love had been strong enough...that there was a guarentee that with all that she would give up for love that it would last.... that things hadn't gotten as far as they did before the ship came... that they had more time..
Slowly, he held her.. wiping the tears... the ship sounded another angry blow... and with a sob she said what she felt in her heart.. " I Love you, dont leave me"... The look in his eyes... the flags that reflected in his eyes to her... she knew that she had loved and lost..... again.....
She clutched at her throat... feeling the once warm metal. now cold and lifeless...As he stood...With eyes shining he whispered as his voice broke.. " know that even over the miles... I'll still love you" Silent sobs racked her body....
Turning he walked away...out of her life..
The deep coldness settled in again...
The soul searching begain.. the film that ran throughout her head for days... she realized... that even though her fear was great... the greatest loss of all was not having him in her life...not following him and swallowing the fear of not knowing...but happiness is the key to living no matter where..
Now she had nothing.. nothing at all... and why.... she puts the blame all on herself. and for that .. and the pain that its caused there's nothing else to say but ... to love is life... but to loose it is no life at all..
You see for now.. the woman who once something.. The guard of innocent ones.... now... had let them get hurt too...The young eyes turn accusing and hurt to her to look for answers... and with that knowledge... She's realized what she's done... and can't live with that ...
