Wigidy Goes to Breakfast
After prom, some of us in the posse decided to grab a little grub before we rolled out. We arrive at your average chain breakfast/bagel joint. On the way in I notice two young couples, one of which has a 2 year old son, who was wondering around aimlessly to all of the tables, eating breakfast. We order and, as I was the last to arrive, I order last. The rest of the group decides it’s a good idea to sit next to the young couples. I beg to differ but nonetheless sit with the group because I don’t want to feel like an idiot eating breakfast by myself. At one point the son decides it’s a good idea to wonder near my table. As soon as he does, I warn the parents, “You should probably keep you son away from me. I’m required by law to inform you that I’m a registered sex offender.”
The look on his parents face can best be described as having diarrhea and the urge to vomit simultaneously. If they can’t take a joke, fuck them.
780,924 people think I’d make a bad parent.