The Man Code for Dorm Life

1. You may not touch your roommate’s beer in the fridge without first asking. He is then required to give you his permission, at which point you must offer monetary compensation.
2. If at any point your roommate has a hot girl in the room alone, you must crash in another room.
3. If at any point you roommate has an ugly girl in the room alone, you must enter the room and do your best to cock block/make the mood awkward/get her to leave, etc.
4. If the rubber band technique is not in play, the room is still a shared room. The rubber band technique consists of putting a rubber band on the outside of the door handle indicating you need privacy for masturbation, sex, etc.
5. It is permissible for a roommate to pee in the sink if the urinater is severely intoxicated or it is really late at night and the urinater can not successfully make it all the way to the bathroom.
6. You may not touch your roommate’s food without first asking permission. He is then required to grant his permission, at which point you must offer monetary compensation.
7. A man is not required to take care of his roommate in event of over intoxication. It is to be considered a favor. The intoxicated one must then repay the roommate for the favor in beer on a sliding scale. Ex: A kick to the ribs to awaken a roommate passed out outside the door to get him into the room is justly compensated by a couple of Keystone Lights. A trip to the hospital requires at least 4 cases of Bud Light; if he actually checks you into the hospital and gets you set up with all the doctors/nurses/etc., the minimum requirement is a keg of no-less-than Bud Select.
8. In event that you are being a moron and “in a relationship” with someone not at your school, you must tell your roommate before they come visit you. Your roommate in turn, should assemble what he needs for the duration that your girlfriend will be in town and vacate the room at all times.
9. If your room is a mess, it is the responsibility of the one who made the mess to find a girl to clean the room.
10. All pornographic materials in the room are considered shared property. If you decide your porn stash is not good enough and you decide to use your roommates, you must return it to the exact location and in the exact condition it was in.
11. If you catch your roommate masturbating, it is your obligation to notify the entire floor that the walk of shame will be occurring within the next 10 minutes.
12. If at any point a man admits to liking The Notebook/Lifetime/Oxygen/etc. while trying to pick up a chick, it is the duty of anyone in the room with the man to kick him repeatedly.
13. When a roommate hooks up with a chick while he is sober, you must wait 2 weeks before hooking up with the same chick. When a roommate hooks up with a drunken chick, you must wait 24 hours before hooking up with the same chick.
14. Any man asleep in his own bed with his shoes off is free from all shaming. In event his room is otherwise in use and he passes out in a friend’s room, he is free of shaming if his shoes are off and he is lying down.
15. A man may not have sex in his roommate’s bed unless he is on the top bunk in a bunk bed situation. In event that he is on the top bunk and returns to intoxicated to climb to his bed, he must wash his roommate’s sheets at the first moment possible.
16. If it’s yellow let it mellow; if it’s brown, flush it down; if it’s over a foot long and 3 inches in diameter, take a picture and send it into CollegeHumor.com

32923 men fallow this code religously

I fallow this code and you should to