Everyone knows what I’m talking about, the kind of parent that sits there and cheers as loud as humanly possible the entire game, the kind that knows absolutely nothing about the game yet they feel qualified to tell everyone on the field what to do. These people really piss me off.
I went to my sister’s soccer game and there was one of these parents there. I wanted to punch her in the face as hard as possible. She was screaming at the top of her lungs, “Just bomb it…Kick it deep…Over they’re heads.” Now anyone, who knows anything about soccer, knows that you don’t just kick the ball as far as possible. This gets you know where, but yet she had the urge to tell everyone in the fucking stadium this was the way to play soccer for the entire game. I almost shot myself.
The game progresses on and my sisters team gets down 3-0. This is no surprise because they were clearly under skilled for the team they were playing yet the soccer mom did not shut up. Some one told her that there were 3 minutes left and she shouts, “3 minutes girls. You can score 4 goals in under 3 minutes.” How moronic is this? You figure it takes 30 seconds to dribble the ball from midfield to the goal. That’s 2 minutes on an empty field with no goalie. Now add in a couple of players in the way and a goalie who is halfway decent and you’re talking about at least 45 seconds. That’s 3 minutes with no time to spare or allow for the ball to come back out to half. That’s assuming they make the shot. Now add in an entire team of girls and a pretty good goalie and the fact they won’t make every shot and you’re talking at least 15 minutes. Now that’s before you consider the fact that this team was better skilled than my sister’s team. Now you’re up to at least 20 minutes. This dumb ass soccer mom thought they could do 20 minutes worth of work in less than 3 minutes. Was she on crack? I don’t know but she was skinny as a rail so it wouldn’t surprise me.
Anyway with about one minute left in the game one of the girls on my sister’s team gets tripped up. This soccer mom feels the urge to chastise the ref. She starts pissing and moaning about the no call as loud as she can. This play was a borderline call at best and she’s about to go apeshit on this poor ref. I felt sorry for this guy. He’s 50 years old and refing soccer. Talk about a shit job. And then some soccer mom has the urge to criticize the job he’s doing. Are you serious? This ref was doing the best job he can. Honestly lady, do you want him to show up at your work tomorrow and as loud as possible criticize the job you’re doing? Horseshit. Leave the guy alone and let him do his job. I don’t see him doing this to you, so don’t do it to him.
123,098 soccer moms have caught on and learned to shut-up before they get beat by a fan sick of their obnoxious cheering.