Trowa thrust one last time into Quatre before pulling out and collapsing on top of his lover. The small Arabian brushed the thick bangs away and kissed Trowa’s forehead.
"Ai shiteru." The French pilot never said a word as he closed his eyes and let sleep come over him.
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The next day, Quatre walked into the kitchen and took a seat by Trowa. "Ohayo, koibito." Trowa only glanced in his direction. The taller boy opened a small box and handed Quatre a ring. It was simple, but beautiful, a silver band with an imbedded sapphire and the engraved words, Heart, soul, and life, always and forever. An identical one with an emerald was on Trowa’s finger.
Tears filled Quatre’s eyes and he wrapped his arms around the brown haired youth saying, "Domo arigato. They’re beautiful." Trowa didn’t even so much as smile.
That whole week went on like that, Quatre saying something to Trowa, but never being answered. Never hearing, "Ai shiteru," or being held truly stung. In fact he had only heard Trowa say it once, and that was it. At first, Quatre dismissed it, telling himself that Trowa always was very quiet and that he really did care inside. But after a while, it hurt to even say it himself, because he knew it would never be returned.
One night, as they were getting ready to go to sleep, Quatre sat down by Trowa and asked, "Can we talk?" The blond boy wasn’t very surprised to be answered with only a nod.
"I just want to know, why don’t you ever talk to me?" Trowa sighed inwardly and felt like slapping himself. A little voice rang in his head. //You knew he was going to notice, Barton, so just say it. It’s not that hard.// The French boy tried to say it but he couldn’t. Once again, the words were stuck in his throat and he couldn’t tell his angel how much he loved him.
"I-I do talk to you, Quatre." The large blue eyes were more than slightly hurt as Quatre whispered, "I just want you to say that you love me once in a while. Am I asking too much?" At that point, Trowa felt like banging his head against the wall. //Quatre, I want to say it so badly, but I can’t.// "I-I, um, " "It’s okay, Trowa."
The tall pilot stared at Quatre in confusion. "Gomen, I didn’t mean to sound so demanding, or anything." The blond youth rose from the bed and headed for the bathroom. "I understand. I know you love me and that’s all that really counts." But even as he said that, Trowa could hear the soft voice trembling. The bathroom door closed and he flopped against the mattress, cursing himself and his cowardice.
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Quatre leaned against the bathtub and started to cry. "By Allah, I know he loves me, but why can’t he say it?" He sobbed. The Arabian hiccuped and tried to ignore the voices in his head. He’s just been using you as a toy… that’s why he won’t say it… Why would he care for such a weakling like you? There are so many others he could have… "It’s not true…" He whispered, even though he didn’t believe himself.
After some time, his tears finally dried and he went back into the bedroom. As he predicted, Trowa was already fast asleep. Quatre sniffled and wiped his damp eyes. "This is for the best… He’ll be much happier this way." He took off his ring and closed Trowa’s lax fingers around it. Placing one last kiss against his koi’s cheek, Quatre slipped out of the room whispering, "Goodbye…"
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After wandering about aimlessly in nothing but his pajamas, Quatre finally found himself sitting in the park. The damp grass felt cool against his bare feet, but did little to comfort his aching heart. Quatre shivered and looked up, startled, when a hand touched his shoulder. The man kneeling beside him was very handsome and gentle looking. He looked about in his early twenties and had sandy blond hair and brilliant green eyes, which contrasted with dark Armani suit he wore. //His eyes are just like Trowa’s…// "What are you doing out here, Little One?"
Little One. Trowa never called him anything like that, and yet this stranger was. Quatre looked away and stared at the wet grass. "Nothing." "You’re lost, aren’t you?" Surprised at how easily the man had guessed, Quatre only nodded. The man held out an elegantly manicured hand and said, "I’m Shane Roberts. Why don’t you come with me?" Hurt and lonely, with no one else to turn to, the small blond quietly took his hand and followed after him.
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Sunlight shined and woke Trowa from his sleep. Rubbing his eyes and stretching his lanky frame, the French youth suddenly noticed the ring he was holding in his hand. He instantly recognized it as Quatre’s. //But why? He wouldn’t have given it to me unless…// Images of last night came flooding back to him, as did regret, hurt, and guilt.
"Oh God…" Without wasting any time, he quickly dressed and ran off to find the others. Ten minutes later, Heero, Duo, Trowa, and Wufei were all looking for him. They had divided the town up into four sections and agreed to meet back at the safe house if they couldn’t find him.
Hours later, four depressed gundam pilots walked back into the house. Duo put his hand on Trowa’s shoulder and said, "I’m sure he’s okay, Tro. Quatre knows how to take care of himself, ne?" "It’s my fault…" "Stop blaming yourself, Trowa. He wouldn’t want you to worry about him." "Heero’s right. Quatre would want you to take care of yourself first." Trowa sighed and turned to face his teammates. "You don’t understand! Quatre gave me everything, his heart, his love, his virginity, everything, and more. He only asked me to say two stupid words and I couldn’t even do that!" Angry tears ran down his face as he ran out of the house.
Trowa kept running until he reached the park. He walked by the lake and stared at the shimmering surface. The French pilot reached into his pocket and pulled out Quatre’s ring. His mind kept telling him to throw it away, that it was meaningless now. And yet, his heart told him not to. Green eyes filled with fresh tears as Trowa turned and walked away. He felt numb and empty, like a part of him was missing. He didn’t even notice when Quatre’s ring fell from his hand.
The brown haired young man was about leave and go back to the safe house when he felt a little tug at his hand. "S’cuse me Mister, is this yours?" Trowa looked down to see a little girl standing there. She was maybe four years old, with big blue eyes and long blonde curls that bounced against her white and yellow pinafore. She held Quatre’s ring up to him and said, "You dropped it at the lake. Why do you look so sad?" Wryly amused by the child’s audacity, he replied, "I’m looking for a friend of mine."
"Cattie, it’s time to go!" The little girl beamed up at him. "That’s my mommy. I have to go now." Cattie gave him the ring and scampered off chirping, "Bye! I hope you find your friend!" Trowa smiled at the ring and whispered faintly, "I *will* find you, Quatre. I promise." By the time, he arrived back at the safe house, it was already dark.
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Quatre woke up in an unfamiliar bedroom. Apparently, he had been asleep for some time. It was already dark again. The door creaked open and Shane walked in. "Feeling better?" Averting his eyes, the boy mumbled, "Hai." The older man tipped his chin up and stared into the deep blue orbs. Slowly, he leaned closer and captured the tempting lips. Shocked, Quatre’s lips parted easily and he tried to pull back when he felt the other’s tongue against his own.
Eventually, Roberts did pull away and by that time, he had already divested himself of his jacket, shirt, and tie. There was a very obvious bulge in his tailored pants. Quatre backed up against the wall, practically frozen with fear. He fought weakly as nimble hands undid the buttons on his nightshirt. Shane pretended not to notice as he pulled the small youth’s pants and boxers off.
His large hands ran over the soft curves of Quatre’s body. One hand stopped and closed gently around the boy’s member. Quatre whimpered, shaking harder as the other man continued over his body. Shane was mindful not to let his kisses linger on one area of the neck or shoulders for too long. He wanted to show his little "pet" to his friends, without any bruises or blemishes. He let go of Quatre’s member and reached lower.
The blond nearly cried out when he felt a finger prodding at his entrance. //By Allah, Trowa, help me… //
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Trowa sat by the window, about to doze off when he heard a faint cry. Help me… Gripping Quatre’s ring tighter, he stared out angrily at the dark night.
As if Quatre’s disappearance wasn’t enough, Duo wanted to drag the stony trio to another nightclub. This happened regularly. Duo would find out about some new club and would be dying of curiosity to check it out. And of course, his curiosity would drive people right up the wall.
Though they went out often, their experiences were not very memorable. There was the time Heero and Wufei got too drunk and spent the rest of the night in the bathroom- the ladies’ bathroom.
Then there was when Trowa lost a bet to Duo and had to go strip onstage. The French pilot did the whole stripping thing, down to his silk green boxers, and the dirty dance with the girl who apparently had more mass in her chest than in her head, all without batting one of those gorgeous eyelashes. Trowa did however, spend all night trying to kill Duo when he found out that the American boy had gotten Quatre to drink so much that the blond fell asleep right before his lover’s little performance.
And all of them still laughed at the time Duo was so drunk that he stripped onstage until he was completely naked. After issuing a dirty dance that included much mooning to the already rowdy audience, the braided baka slipped out of Heero’s grasp and proceeded to parade down the street, wearing only what Shinigami had graced him with at birth.
Sighing, Trowa could hear the other three arguing. "Maxwell, there is no way I’m going to a club that’s named, Black Rose!" "Aw, c’mon, Wuffie. We’ve had a hard day. We need to relax." "Going to a club with you, Maxwell, doesn’t make me relax!" The Black Rose sounded very familiar to Trowa. It was indeed a popular club, a ‘pimp and hooker magnet’ is what Heero had called it. The quiet boy didn’t even know he knew those words.
Letting out another groan, he let himself be dragged into Duo’s room and be forced into a different set of clothes.
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Shane made sure to enter the blond boy slowly and gently. He didn’t want any bleeding whatsoever. When it was all over, he held Quatre in his arms. The blond man brushed away sweaty bangs and tenderly kissed the smaller youth’s forehead. It was about then Quatre felt his heart shatter.
Trowa had never held him nor did he kiss him unless it was all in the heat of sex. Hurt, guilty tears fell down his round cheeks as Quatre buried his face in Roberts’ broad shoulder and cried. The Arabian youth didn’t want anyone to take Trowa’s place; He just wanted to be loved. Being the perceptive person he was, Shane could tell that Quatre wouldn’t return the love that he offered to him. The older man eased a syringe out of the nightstand and injected it into the blond’s arm. Bright sapphire eyes went blank and the small youth became limp. Taking the boy into his arms, he got up and nodded to a redheaded girl wearing a skimpy French maid outfit. "Replace these sheets and lay out new clothes for me. I’m going to the Black Rose tonight
" The whole time, Quatre didn’t even blink.
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Trowa stared at the mirror, now clad in tight leather pants, leather jacket, and a white T-shirt. Heero was wearing a green shirt and black leather pants. Wufei was wearing jeans, a tight black shirt and a leather jacket. Duo was wearing leather pants, tight black mesh T-shirt, and a leather vest. All four had traded their shoes in for boots.
Duo, of course, was the only one really talking as they headed for the Black Rose. Like any club, the Black Rose was overflowing with dancing and music, not to mention heavy sexual tension. Heero could just about see all the bulges in the men’s pants as the four boys passed.
Trowa glanced over the steamy air, and saw four men sitting at a nearby table. He didn’t know why they caught his eye. One was apparently very wealthy, clean-shaven and handsome. The other three were a little more rumpled. His one visible eyes widened when he saw whom the man was holding.
Quatre was sitting in the man’s lap, barefoot and wearing only a white T-shirt and a pair of loose drawstring pants. The man was kissing his neck, one hand under his shirt, busily groping him. Trowa couldn’t help but feel hurt. //Why isn’t he fighting back?// Even from his distance, sharp eyes honed with hunting skills saw the boy sitting there, letting himself be molested. And at the same time, blank eyes cried for help.
Breaking away from his friends, Trowa walked over to the table. His fists clenched as the man pulled the T-shirt off and started sucking on Quatre’s nipples. His emerald eyes narrowed in rage when he saw one had straying down to the drawstring of his pants, undoing the simple knot and caressing the smooth rear. "Leave him alone." The man looked up with amusement dancing in his eyes. "Why should I?" "He’s my friend."
All the mirth was gone from the green eyes. The man motioned to his three friends. Trowa watched calmly as the three advanced on him. He had certainly seen better odds than this. He blocked a punch and sent one man sprawling into another. He was about to take on the other when Wufei kicked him down from behind. "I could’ve taken him!" Trowa growled. The Chinese boy pushed him aside and drew his gun. "That’s not the point."
Shane Roberts glared at the two boys who had gotten rid of his "friends" so easily. He heard two other guns cocking behind him and turned to face a boy with a long chestnut braid and a boy with dark, rumpled brown hair. All around them, people never even noticed, Black Rose usually had fights like this so no one bothered to intervene or even look. The young man with jagged brown bangs held his arms out for the little blond he held in his arms. Roberts obligingly gave him up and the four walked out.
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In the car, not even Duo spoke. Trowa’s jacket was wrapped around Quatre’s small frame. The French pilot held his frail burden close. Quatre’s eyes were clouded and his pupils were dilated. He had obviously been drugged, which would explain why he was so apathetic, but Heero guessed that it wouldn’t wear off for at least two more hours.
Quatre looked up at his lover and let out a soft gurgle. Trowa kissed his forehead and whispered, "Everything’s okay now. I’m here. No one’s going to hurt you anymore." //How can I expect to keep that promise, when that’s all I ever seem to do? // Resting his chin against the soft blond hair, he murmured softly, "My brave little angel… My little one…"
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Trowa watched as his angel lay quietly in the large bed. He felt a slight rush of hope as Quatre’s lips moved. Trowa could barely make out a single word. "…Koibito…" Lover. The one word had been spoken so many times, by so many people, in so many different languages. And yet it was that one word that crushed all of the barriers around Trowa’s heart.
"Quatre…" His callused hands closed around the blond’s smaller ones. "I know that I’ve never told you this… but it’s only because I was too scared to let love come into me. You gave everything you had and more, now it’s my turn to give back. I just want you to hear me say this…" Slowly, gently, Trowa kissed the soft lips and whispered, "Ai shiteru."
The blue eyes flickered with life as Quatre whispered hoarsely, "Trowa?" Stroking Quatre’s cheek, the French boy leaned closer and asked gently, "What is it? Tell me." "A-arigato." Trowa kissed him again and replied, "I should be thanking you, little one."
Their lips melted together again as their bodies did for what seemed like an eternity. Much later, Quatre lay in his lover’s arms, exhausted and drained. Trowa kissed his forehead and asked softly, "Daijoubo desu ka?" "Mm… hai." "Are you sure? You’re still weak." "I’m sure." Smiling, Trowa reached over and felt around for something. He took Quatre’s hand and slipped his ring on his small finger. "I believe this is yours?"
Quatre gazed at the sparkling sapphire and flushed with embarrassment. "I didn’t think you would keep it." "I wasn’t going to," Trowa admitted, "But then I realized how stupid I was." Tightening his arms around his angel, he said softly, "You truly are my heart, my soul, and my life. Ai shiteru, Quatre."
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