Trowa watched from his place on the bed as Quatre put on his shirt. The blond boy knelt by the bed and whispered, "I have a mission." "Be careful." "I will." Quatre kissed Trowa’s cheek and walked out the door.

The quiet Preventer smiled, propped up on one elbow. A moment passed and he went back to sleep.

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Quatre lay motionlessly on the rough concrete. The rapist had passed out about three feet away. Part of him wanted to just lay there and wait for his assailant to wake up and finish him off. The other part told Quatre that he had to go back to Trowa.

The mission had gone well but when he had touched down near his family’s estate, he was immediately knocked out. When the Arabian came to, the man was already on top of him. All Quatre could do was close his eyes and pray it would end soon. Indeed it did stop but that didn’t make him feel any better.

Slowly, Quatre pulled his clothes on and staggered back to the house. Luckily, everyone was asleep and this particular mansion had very few servants so he got up to his room with little trouble. Quatre quietly slipped into the bathroom and went straight for the shower. His trembling hands fumbled with the shower knobs and warm water poured onto him. The Arabian flinched when he heard Trowa’s voice from the other side of the door. "You’re back. How was the mission?" Quatre slumped against the wall, his voice cracking slightly as he answered, "Fine. It went fine."

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A month later…

Duo stood outside the door anxiously as the sounds of retching came from the bathroom. "Hey Q! Are you sure you’re okay?" Quatre’s soft voice replied, "I’m sure. It’s just something I ate." But the braided boy knew it was just a lie. Trowa came up and looked from Duo to the bathroom. "Again?" "Third time this week." The French teen’s brow furrowed with concern as Quatre stumbled out, pale and sweaty.

Heero and Wufei watched from the end of the hallway. "Do you have something you’d like to tell us, Quatre?" The blond Arabian fidgeted but then decided it would be best if his friends knew. "I-I’m pregnant." Duo let out a whoop and slapped Trowa hard on the back. "Congratulations, Tro!" Quatre looked at the floor and mumbled, "Actually Duo, Trowa’s not the father." All four gaped at the little blond, waiting for an explanation. Quatre could feel their stares boring into him as he told them what he’d been trying to hide, trying not to believe for nearly a month.

"…The mission went smoothly but when I landed, I was… raped." Duo put an arm around Quatre and said, "It’s okay, buddy. We’re all here for you, right?" Wufei and Heero nodded but Trowa simply turned and walked into the bedroom he and Quatre shared, slamming the door behind him. The blond’s eyes filled with tears and he blinked, trying not to show his pain.

The Chinese boy placed a hand on Quatre’s shoulder and said, "Give him some time. He’ll get over it." The former gundam pilot forced back his tears and whispered, "I hope so."

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Even after the second month of Quatre’s pregnancy, it was quite obvious that Trowa had not gotten over it. The brown haired former pilot switched rooms, spoke very coldly to the Arabian youth, and refused to have anything to do with the unborn child.

Quatre looked away from Trowa, almost expecting the icy glare. The silence in the room was too much to bear for the five of them, Duo being the only one making any noise and Wufei making the occasional snide remark. Preventers’ Headquarters didn’t have any missions for the five and it was a mission in itself to just sit there.

Clearing his throat, Quatre stood up and walked to his bedroom, mumbling, "Oyasumi, minna." Not long afterward, the other four followed suit. Quatre curled up on his bed and did what he did almost every night. He cried.

Hours later, a small figure silently stole down the hallway and to Trowa’s room. Quatre opened the door slightly and gazed sadly at the lean boy lying in bed. He turned and left as quietly as he’d come.

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Trowa was dreaming… He found himself in the darkness he had retreated into his whole life. There was a faint glow ahead. Not wanting to become the emotionless rock he had once been, he reached for it. His green eyes widened and he blurted out, "Quatre?!" The blond boy lay at his feet, bruised and bleeding. Emerald eyes hardened and he turned to walk away when the soft voice stopped him in his tracks. "Onegai, don’t go… I need you…" His heart melting, Trowa reached for him, but Quatre kept drifting away. "Quatre, come back!"

Trowa woke up with a start, gasping for air and dripping with perspiration. "It’s nothing," He murmured softly, "Just a dream." Pulling the sheets over his body and closing his eyes, he whispered, "Just a dream…"

The next day, Heero came up to his fellow Preventers and said, "Quatre’s missing."

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Trowa sat over his laptop, still trying to find even a trace of his missing lover. Quatre had been gone for more than four months; there was little chance he was still on Earth, or even alive. His eyes drifted over to a picture of the two of them. Trowa sighed and traced Quatre’s smiling face. The French boy would’ve given anything just to see his little one’s smile again.

Trowa closed his eyes, remembering how harsh he was, Quatre’s heartbroken face, and Duo’s angry expression. "You are such an ass, Trowa Barton! It’s not fair that the three of us accepted what happened when you, his lover, won’t even talk to him!" A slender finger gently traced the sweet smile as Trowa whispered, "I was an ass, ne?" The brown haired boy flopped bonelessly onto his bed, still holding the photograph. As exhaustion took its toll, he whispered, "But will you still love me?"

While the other Preventers, Noin, Zechs, Sally, and Lady Une had given up looking for the little blond, the former gundam pilots refused to stop searching for their comrade. After all those months, it was finally starting to overwhelm the four, Trowa most of all. He rarely ate, slept only five hours at the most, and became as irritable and short-tempered as Wufei and ten cups of coffee. He was haunted by the same dream every night. The emerald eyes were heavy with guilt and worry, only softening when Quatre was mentioned. His fellow Preventers watched him, praying to anyone who cared that Quatre would be found.

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Quatre shivered as he lay on the cold street. His clothes were ragged and dirty and it didn’t help that it was snowing. The blond boy hadn’t eaten anything in the longest time and it was obvious, even with his enlarged stomach. The Arabian youth shivered harder and bit his lip as sharp pain ran through his battered body. Quatre had lost track of time but he didn’t need a calendar to know that the baby was coming soon.

Lifting his head, the blond boy looked around for some sort of shelter to stay in. Tired blue eyes fell on an abandoned warehouse. It wasn’t much but it would be warmer for both him and the baby. Painfully, Quatre climbed to his feet and staggered to the warehouse. He pushed the door open and went in, grateful to be safe from the harsh wind and biting cold. The blue-eyed young man curled up in the corner, trying to ignore the pain lancing through his stomach. "I’ve made it this far, I’m sure I can last a little longer." Quatre whispered, even as his mind said, Liar.

The blond youth whimpered miserably, longing for strong arms to hold him and a gentle voice to tell him everything would be all right. Even as unconsciousness claimed him, it never came.

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Sally Po trudged through the snow with a heavy heart. Quatre’s disappearance had affected them all and the strain was showing. Preventers’ Headquarters wasn’t the same without the blond Arabian. The blond woman shook her head sadly as her boots crunched in the snow. Sally was so engrossed in her thoughts that she almost didn’t see the familiar flash of blond hair as a small shape ducked into an empty warehouse. Curious, she followed.

Her blue eyes narrowed as she blinked in the darkness. Sally could barely make out the young boy lying in a corner. "Quatre?" His golden hair was so dirty that it looked light brown and his features were smudged with dirt, but it was Quatre nonetheless.

The Arabian moaned in pain, unconsciously clutching his swollen stomach. "Shimatta…" Sally muttered as she brushed back damp bangs. She gathered the blond boy into her arms and hurried to the nearest hospital.

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He was dreaming again… Just like every night, that same dream would come back. But this time, it was different. He stood in the middle of a field. Quatre was walking to him, holding a bundle in his arms. Just like in his other dream, he’d reach out to his angel. For once, Quatre didn’t disappear. Instead, he held the bundle out to him and asked quietly, "Will you hold my baby for me?"

The French youth forced his eyes open and cursed when he realized the phone had been ringing the whole time. Growling, he snatched it up and snapped, "Who is this?" Sally’s voice brought him out of his half-asleep fit. "Trowa? Get down to the hospital. I’ve found Quatre." Five minutes later, a servant watched with wide eyes as the four boys pounded down the stairs and out the door.

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Quatre forced himself back to consciousness long enough to feel the pain coursing through him. He cracked an eye open and instantly regretted it when blinding light stung. He had no idea where he was but he was certain that it wasn’t the empty warehouse or the street.

Beyond the pain, he could make out a single face, shadowed by brown bangs. Quatre tried to call out to his lover but his throat was too dry. One hand reached out to him and fell a second later as he once again fell back into the darkness.

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Wufei closed his eyes and tried to ignore Duo’s ranting and Trowa’s pacing through the hall. Dark eyes snapped open as a doctor stepped out. "Excuse me? Are you friends of Mr. Winner?" Trowa’s face was impassive but his eyes gave him away as he asked, "How is he?" The doctor didn’t look very happy. "The labor process is extremely difficult. The male body wasn’t meant to carry and bear children. It’ll take five more hours at the very least." The doctor retreated back into the room and the four young men were as silent as ever.

Hours later, the doctor finally came back out and was pounced on by the young Preventers. "Is he alright?" Heero asked flatly. His nerves strained, the doctor sucked in a deep breath and answered, "Quatre’s fine. But the baby didn’t make it." Duo’s violet eyes were filled with anger as he blurted out, "What do you mean?! Why?" "Like I said earlier, the male body wasn’t designed to bear children. That made the situation complicated enough. But Quatre is also very malnourished and apparently there hasn’t been anyone to take care of him throughout the majority of his pregnancy. I’m rather surprised the baby stayed alive at all." That said, the doctor turned and walked away before the other three could jump on him.

Sally took in all of this with sad blue eyes. "He’s in the ICU. Do you guys want to go see him?" Unable to find the energy to even reply, the former gundam pilots silently followed her into the Intensive Care Unit.

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Trowa hesitated only slightly before entering. The room was dark and quiet, with only the heart rate monitors making any noise. Quatre lay there, eyes closed. A nurse had come and gone, laying out a clean gown and washing away the dirt and whatnot. His sunny hair was still wet, leaving his pillows damp.

Trowa wanted nothing more than to touch the sweet, angelic face after so long. Graceful fingers tenderly brushed back the golden bangs and the green-eyed boy kissed his angel’s forehead. "This isn’t right," Trowa whispered softly. Quatre looked too fragile, like a doll. The blond Arabian should’ve been back at the estate, where he belonged. For some time, he just sat there, watching his little one sleep. After a while, he stood and brushed another kiss against the blond locks. "I’ll get you out of here, I promise."

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It was just *not* Dr. Kirk Jordan’s day. Because medical knowledge was always advancing, he and his colleagues had dealt with pregnant men more than once but it had never ended up being so difficult. And it didn’t help that the four young men were practically jumping on him for answers. He wiped his glasses and put them back on, only to find Trowa Barton standing there.

The emerald eyes were icy as the boy said, "I want to take Quatre home with us." Jordan shook his head and replied, "Mr. Barton, you know I can’t let you do that." "He’ll be fine. We’ll take care of him." "Quatre will be better off here, sir. He’ll recover faster." "I told you, Quatre’s coming home with us." "Mr. Barton, your friend is very weak and is in no condition to leave. I promise you the staff will take good care of him." Though the doctor suspected that the two were a little more than just friends.

The fire within the green irises suddenly flickered and the boy’s shoulders slumped. Trowa’s eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep and he looked tired just from breathing. "Onegai," He begged softly, "I just want to bring him home." Jordan finally gave in and said, "Okay, I’ll have the papers ready and notify the nurses."

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With only Duo’s inane chattering to fill up the silence, the ride home was quiet and uneventful. The four stood around the bed, saying nothing. Duo blinked and looked at the blond boy curled up beneath the blankets. Quatre reminded the American of a broken doll he had once seen lying around in the streets of L2. Trowa took a seat by the bed and said tonelessly, "You guys go to bed. I’ll watch him."

The three walked out of the room and headed for their own bedrooms. Trowa’s fingers closed around the small hand and squeezed it. Blue eyes fluttered open and focused on him. "Trowa?" Quatre croaked out, his voice hoarse from misuse. Leaning closer, Trowa asked, softly, "What is it, Little One?" "My… my baby…" Biting his lip and considering telling Quatre that he didn’t know, he mumbled, "It didn’t make it… gomen nasai…" Quatre’s cerulean eyes filled with tears as he whispered, "I guess it’s all for the best. I wouldn’t have been able to give the baby a happy life. Demo…" The small blond forced a crooked smile. "I’m sure the baby would’ve grown up to look like you. He would’ve had your beautiful eyes, and your kind heart… even if you weren’t the father…" Crystalline tears spilled down the pale cheeks.

Trowa gathered his lover in his arms and held him tightly. For once he didn’t tell Quatre that everything would be okay and that he shouldn’t cry. The brown haired young man was silent as he cradled his broken angel. Even after Quatre cried himself to sleep, Trowa didn’t let him go. Looking down at the blond’s sweet face, he whispered, "Then tell me Little One, if I have such a kind heart, why aren’t you holding a baby in your arms?"

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Quatre was vaguely aware that he was not lying on the street. For once, he was lying in a soft, warm bed. He stirred slightly and felt two arms tighten around him. "Trowa…" He murmured sleepily. "Hm?" Quatre blinked and looked around. He relaxed when he saw that he was safe in his room, in Trowa’s arms.

The French youth’s hand drifted down and lifted up Quatre’s nightshirt. His slender fingers gently stroked the scar on the blond’s now flat stomach. "You’ve been through a lot, Little One." Trowa said quietly. "Get some rest." Quatre nodded and closed his eyes. Seconds later, his chest rose up and down evenly, indicating his slumber. The door opened and Heero stuck his head in. "Need anything?" The Japanese boy asked blankly. Trowa shook his head and the other boy left as quickly as he had appeared.

Nestling closer to his angel, Trowa closed his eyes again. Images of last night’s dream ran through his head. Will you hold my baby for me? His emerald eyes opened and he suddenly understood. Trowa kissed the gleaming blond hair and whispered, "Hai, I will hold you, Little One."

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[1] When Quatre asked Trowa to hold the baby because he wasn’t strong enough, he meant he wanted Trowa to support him so he could continue to live.

I know, I know, preggy fics are supposed to be funny and cheerful and all that crap, but I thought it would be cool to have it written a different way. All disclaimers apply and all flames will be laughed at. ~ LiLi