Another Lena Ban Obsidian Song-fic

This one is Birthday

By Meredith Brooks

The characters…well, gee, I wouldn’t want Relena…but I don’t own ANY of them…

We start with Heero sitting in a café, quietly sipping his coffee. Relena comes over from across the room, and asks Heero if she could have coffee with him. We proceed to experience Heero’s fear of what if would be like to accept:

When’s your birthday?
What’s your middle name?
Who’s your girl?
What’s your favorite flavor ice cream?
Can you tell me, tell me this?

Heero is chained to a wall, looking hungry and a bit sick. Relena is holding acid in a vial right under his nose as she interrogates him for personal information.

Are you Aries; are you on the crest of Cancer?
Gonna get to know you better- what? No…it’s a quiz…

Heero tries to spit in her face but Relena just laughs and dumps the acid on his foot. (Insert pain-filled screamhere).

Well, you can trust me.
Now, we’ll dig a little deeper-

Now the girl is doing an autopsy- before Heero is dead, digging around inside as she speaks. He is trying hard not to scream- she hasn’t even given him a painkiller-Duo comes busting into the room, Relena just lifts a gun and fires it once, not looking up once.

Let’s trade numbers,
let’s trade beepers
I can find you any place

After attempting to escape Heero discover that Relena has put a tracking device in his neck so that she can find himanywhere.

Hey, why’re you looking at your watch?
We haven’t had dessert
It’s early just eight thirty only _our_first_date_

Relena begins speaking about their first date and Heero breaks down, screaming and crying… I wanna know Do you love me yet?

Do you feel the same?
Am I your everything?

As she asks these things, Relena is threatening at the same time to drop Heero into a pit of cobras. Quatre appears down there and begins fluting the snakes into subservience, so that Heero won’t have to make the choice, but Relena drops in a large python that takes Quatre out before his effortshave much effect.

I wanna know
Isn’t true love great?
C’mon…tell me…when’s your birthday?

It seems that the one piece of information Heero is still able to keep secret is the date of his birth…

Where ya goin’?
Why ya leavin’?
After all we’ve been through…
Can’t you think of me?
I’ll think of you
Don’t- throw it all away…

Heero tries again to escape after pulling the tracking device out of his neck. He meets Trowa on the way- for a while, all seems to go well. Relena launches a surprise attack, collapsing the building in front of their position…Trowa is captured under the concrete. His dying words are:

Your secret is too important…
she must not learnit…
I’ll quit my job; I’ll have your children
You’ll work hard; I’ll spend your millions
Hey no questions- you’ve got time- just don’t make me wait

The girl has Heero in a sort of electric chair…she grins as she speaks of children and Heero grimaces…for his reaction, she ~partially~ electrocutes him.

I wanna know
Do you believe in fate?
When you’re moving in
Be my everything
I wanna know
We are sure of age
C’mon tell me when’s your birthdayyyyeah when’s your birthday?

Heero continues to refuse to give any info on his birthday…Relena starts bringing in other people and torturing them, trying to break him that way. Among these are Noin, Sally-Po, and Une. All three die screaming that he must not reveal his secret.

And it isn’t just an off smoking high
I’ve never felt this way about any other guy before
I ain’t getting any younger
I’m not foolin’ anymo-oh-ore

The dreaded snob-anger descends on Relena; scowling, she decides to have at with a few hot pokers now. I wanna know Do you love me yet? Wufei comes charging in with Treize; the both of them try to stop Relena, but again she employs the gun and the two die without success. Zechs follows, making the hard decision to stop his sister. “It just isn’t right, what you’re doing here, Relena…” He pleads with her. Wanna wear your ring Be your everything

Relena has no difficulty in choosing to shoot Zechs too…Dorothy enters the room, looking scared.

I wanna know
Isn’t true love grrreat?
C’mon…tell me…C’mon…tell me…

At each “C’mon” Relena cracks a whip at Heero. Dorothy huddles in the background, Relena’s subservient slave,unable to retaliate…

I wanna know
Do you believe in fate?
Do you feel the same?
Be my everything
I wanna know
Isn’t true love grrreat?

Dorothy finally can’t stand it and launches herself at Relena. Heero snaps out of his reverie, glancing in terror at Relena. She is still patiently waiting for an answer.

C’mon…tell me…

Reluctantly, he nods, trying to tell himself that he is imagining the ridiculous. Relena, pleased at his acceptance, site down across from him and starts off the conversationwith:

When’s your birthday?

Heero sweat-drops, stands and runs away as fast as he can, leaving behind a puzzled Relena.

The End …

(Run, Heero, Run!)Next is on it's way!

~Lena