I held the camera tightly In my hands and watched the girls In their halter tops and Bubblegum pants Scream at me with smiles And kisses I wanted to be With them I used to be And now I had everything I wanted Everything those girls wanted I filmed them all, telling them to say, "Hanson rules!" into the lens and told them they might get on the tour video or in Moe or in magazines and they Cried with joy Cried with this passion for Three boys they didn't know, The blond hair, the raspy voice The blue eyes. Those blue eyes. Blue like gemstones And the waters of Bali. Those blue eyes that stared into Me Captured me like bandits And hid me away inside of him Those blue eyes They didn't look away when he spoke, They didn't glance beyond when he listened. Sometimes it was hard to hold eye contact with him Sometimes he seemed too intensely interested In what I had to say Then I looked away At my hands, my feet, a person behind him And felt guilty in retrospect, for not holding on but that was he, him, Taylor Taylor had the strength to hold on I didn't. I was learning from him So much is learned from heartache I went back inside after enough Footage was filmed. I followed the damp, windowless halls Behind the stage Concrete was claustrophobic I was greeted by the Meet and Greet Isaac and Zac posed Smiled, put their arms around fans For pictures. I looked for Taylor Who was in a corner with a cup of coffee from Starbucks It was my coffee, I had given it to him before I had been Sent outside to tape all the girls who were so beautiful I felt ugly. There he was, in the corner Talking with some girl She was impossibly radiant Black curls Red lips, redder than red Eyes like the sky Skin like coffee with too much cream, like the coffee he drank Belly tight and bare. It seemed they had isolated themselves from everything From camera flashes and tears And they spoke in a foreign language A tongue I would never understand I watched them for a while Then became afraid Weak And I couldn't hold on anymore So I filmed more fanatics And became one of them Once again.
			why couldn't you hold on to me i was right here, laying in our bed
			hotchildinthecity