(@23:46)   Well, I admit that I am sad today. I have never been so bored like today. I can't think of anything to do. Everything I did seemed ..no good.. bad..worst...I hate to be like this... just hanging around the house, but got nothing to do. Sometimes being like this is good, but not for today. I think my problem was I was already down when I woke up with a half-disabled leg this morning. So no matter what I was trying to do to cheer up myself, it didn't help. And I am still under the weather.   Anne phoned me this afternoon, and we talked for a little. I also chatted with some friends this morning. (BUT I was sad, unreasonably)  I was smiling on my face, but screaming inside... the deep inside.   I wish I had a puppy, so that I could play with him this afternoon.   I wish I had a baby or what, so that I could take care of him this afternoon. Change diaper every half hour, feeding him watermelon....lol.. j/k   I wish I got a mail today, so that I could read it over and over until the letter is broken. And perhaps reply the mail.   Am I supposed to do or to say something today? Cynthia asked me which planet I am actually from. (just beacuse of the 4.26.2001 (@22:24) journal)   Also, 5.1.2001 (Tue) @0:08,   Cynthia said " If you know something is not going to happen whatever so, then not to think about it ever.....then ur life will become more actual and happy."   Thanks, Cynthia.....from the bottom of my heart.