| *MORE* Things TP characters will NEVER say or do! |
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| Things TP characters will never say Written by Princess Cora ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Roger- I'm ba-ack! Alanna- Hi, Rog! I forgot how good-looking you are! Delia- Him? Good-looking? As if! Me, on the other hand... Jon- Mithros! You is butt ugly! Delia- Why thank you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alanna- Let's do the Time Warp! Kel- the what? Alanna- The Time Warp! Neal help me out here. Neal- It's a jump to the left. Neal and Alanna- And then a step to the ri-i-ight! Numair- What is going on? Kel- We're doing the Time Warp! You try! Alanna- Put your hands on your hips! Neal and Alanna- And put your knees in tight! Alanna and Neal- But it's the pelvic thrust- Numair and Kel- Oompa, oompa, oom Neal and Alanna- That really drives you insane! Neal, Alanna, Kel, and Numair- Let's do the Time Warp again! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Harry Potter- Hey! What happened to Hermione? Neal- Her what? Harry- Oh, never mind! Say, what are you guys doing? Kel- the Time Warp! Wanna try? Neal- It's a jump to the- Harry- No thanks. Alanna- Aw, come on! It's fun! Jon- Still up to your tricks, Al? Alanna- Don't call me Al. Jon- Why not? Alanna- 'cause if you do I'll punch the stuffing out of you, buster! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Prince Jonathon- Oh I just can't wait to be king! Alanna- You better wait or I'll punch the stuffing out of you, buster! Jon- Everybody look left! Gary- No! Jon- Everybody look right! Raoul- Uh-uh! Jon- Everywhere you look I'm! Alanna- showoff. Jon- Standing in the spotlight! Alanna, Gary, and Raoul- NOT YET! Jon- Oh I just can't wait to be king! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alanna- I see dead people.... Liam- Do you see me? Alanna- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Liam- You are the weakest link! Alanna- How odd. Liam- That was my father's name. ALanna- What was you father's name? Liam- HOWARD!!!!! Alanna- har har har. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Daine- I see wierd people... Numair! You're the first person I've seen in ages! Numair- I see only normal people... Daine, where are you! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jon (to Alanna)- You say po-tay-to, I say po-tah-to, you say gorilla, I say YOUR MOTHER!!! Alanna you take that back or I'll punch the stuffing out of you, buster! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wyldon- All pages and squires get the week off for NO REASON AT ALL! Kel- Darn it! I was having fun with those flying lessons! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Joren- Kel, will you marry me? Kel- Sure! Hey, let's get married at the same time as Neal and Cleon! Joren- great! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Numair- *holds up a fusia glitter shirt* Doesn't this look so fab? Roger- Oh no. It's too light for your... um... hair. Now on me... Alanna- Oh, Roger! YOu you simply ravishing in that shirt! Roger- So do you! (she is wearing a lime green tube top) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Numair- Varice, what do you think of this? *holds up a sapphire blue shirt* Varice- That looks SO hot on you! DIes it match my shirt? (she is wearing a neon orage lace-up tube top) Numair- absolutley. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Roger- I think I'll wear these pants (tight black leather). Alanna- They will so totally go with that fushia shirt. I'll let my hair down and wear my black miniskirt with the top. Roger- You'll look so hot in it! Alanna- I know. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thayet- Where in the world did you get that cute outfit? Varice- (now wearing a long red skirt with a really high slit) There's this adorable shop down in Tirragen. Me, Numair, Lani, and Rog were shopping there. Thayet- So Alanna is Lani now? Varice- I guess. Thayet- Some people can be so dense! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Uline- Did you see Numair? Isn't he so handsome in that shirt? Adie- And those pants! (Numair is wearing tight flared gold pants) Faviola (lady of Niede's Jewel)- He is such a cutie. Camira (Faviola's daughter)- Mom! you're married! Faviola- So? Adie- He's coming this way! Uline- *sigh* (she faints) Camira- He is so hot. Adie- I think he should dance with Alanna of Pirate's Swoop. They'd make that cutest couple! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (A/N: Ok, now Kel is a squire) Neal- Wow. She is SO hot. Cleon- Who? Neal- my knight-master. Cleon- Where is she? Neal- over there, dancing with ol' Rog. Cleon- *whistle* Man, she looks good in that tube top. Owen- She's so dreamy... Vincent- And she looks much better with her hair down. Owen- *nod* Oh yeah. Joren- What's so hot about her? Vincent- Get lost, Joren, you stink. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kel- That's it. I'm giving up! Joren- Kel, we just got married. Please stay! Kel- Oh all right. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thayet- I just saw, totally, what happened. Raoul- With me and Buri? You are so dudically behind. I dumped her ages ago. Thayet- It was yesterday. Raoul- Whatever. Thayet- Anyway, I was just making sure the way way was clear. Raoul- For who? Thayet- You, of course! You're so dense, Raoul! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Liam- Magic is so awesome. Thom- Correction, magic is scary. I hate magic. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Daine and everyone except Numair and Liam- Who let the Dogs out? Numair and Liam- Who? Who? Who who? Everyone except Numair, Liam, and Daine- Who let the Dogs out? Daine- Hey, I did that! Kaddar- Shut up! Daine- Why don't you? Kaddar- Fine, be that way. Let's sing my version now: Who let the cows out? Daine and everyone except Numair and Liam- Who let the cows out? Numair and Liam- Moo? Moo? Moo moo? Everyone except Numair, Liam, and Daine- Who let the cows out? Daine- Hey I did that too! Kaddar- WILL YOU QUIT LETTING ANIMALS OUT! Daine- No. Kaddar- Fine, be that way. Daine- I will if you don't mind. Thayet- You guys are so dense! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lena (she is about to jump off Balor's Needle)- Here goes... Kel- No, wait! (Lena stops) Who are you? Lena- My name is Lena. I'm a reporter for the Tortallan Times and I can never get a good story. All the other reporters beat me to it. Kel- My name is Keladry and I'm training to be knight. All the boys pick on me, I don't look good, and I'm terrible at fencing. Let's jump together. Lena- ok. Maura- WAIT!! Kel- What now? Maura- I'm Maura of Dunlath. I'm ugly and no one likes me 'cause I'm friends with ogres and wolves. My knight guardian doesn't even pay attention to me! Who are you? Lena- My name is Lena. I'm a reporter for the Tortallan Times and I can never get a good story. All the other reporters beat me to it. Kel- My name is Keladry and I'm training to be knight. All the boys pick on me, I don't look good, and I'm terrible at fencing. Maura- Let's all jump together. Kel- All right Gary- WAIT!!! Kel- *sigh* Gary- I'm Gary, the Prime Minister. I hate my life. people are always complaining to me, and I don't have any time. I used to be one of the best archers, but now all I'm good for is paers and pens! Who are you? Lena- My name is Lena. I'm a reporter for the Tortallan Times and I can never get a good story. All the other reporters beat me to it. Kel- My name is Keladry and I'm training to be knight. All the boys pick on me, I don't look good, and I'm terrible at fencing. Maura- I'm Maura of Dunlath. I'm ugly and no one likes me 'cause I'm friends with ogres and wolves. My knight guardian doesn't even pay attention to me! Gary- Why don't we all jump together? Maura- Let's go. (Kel, Maura, and Gary jump) Lena- (takes out paper and pencil) Three people jump off Balor's Needle! One squire, one lady, and one Prime Minister! Here's the inside story... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ George- Hey, look at this: Kel, Maura, and Gary jumped off Balor's Needle. Alanna- So? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thayet- I told you to knock down that thing. Jon- What thing? Thayet- Balor's Needle, of course! Jon- And when did that happen? Thayet- *sigh* I told you right after Lalasa was kidnapped! Jon- Your point is? Thayet- Honestly! Men are so dense. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Joren- I'm not even a knight yet and I'm already a widower. Lalasa- Well, we'll just have to do something about that, won't we? Joren (in a whisper)- Whoa, she's hot! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alanna (to Jon)- Take that *punch* and that *punch*! Jon- Ouch. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Roger- Alanna I'd like to ask you something. Alanna- What? Roger- I would've asked you before, but my most recent death got in the way. Will you marry me? Alanna- Of course! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alanna- Hey, Jon, I'm sorry I punched you. Di you hear the news? Jon (sulkily)- Yeah, I heard the news. The whole freakin' WORLD heard the news! Alanna- Well, as Laurie says in Little Women, "If I can't have one sister (or cousin, in this case), I'll have the other! Jon- Hey, you were the one who didn't want to marry me. Alanna- Well, you didn't have to be such a conceited jerk! Jon- Excuse me? Alanna- Oh, yes. I forgot I was blocking your way. Neal- Calm down, children. We don't want any more fighting than Kel already causes! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
| Never Say Never Written by Adrienna Alanna: Jon you are sooooo hot! Jon:I am? cool! George: Hey Alanna I thought you were married to me! Alanna: Well too bad, Jon is so hot! Thayet: Hey Jon I thought you were married to me ! Jon: Well Alanna is really hot in her new dress. George: Hey ! Alanna's wearing a dress? Let me see. Jon: No way buster! Don't go touching my girl! George: Actaully in contractual form, she's mine! Alanna: I AM NOT OWENED BY ANYONE!!! I AN NY OWN TRUE SELF!!! *rushes at the guys* Jon, George: HEY! *they get in a fight and Alanna wins. George and Jon have a concussion and a number of bruises each* Alanna: Hey Thayet, we don't need those guys. Let go get soda or something. *they wander off into the "not in the story any more" land |