Kick up

I never meant the things I said

To make you cry can I say I’m sorry?

It’s hard to forget,

And yes I regret

All these mistakes

I don’t know why you’re leaving me

But I know you must have your reasons

There’s tears in your eyes

I watch as you cry

But it’s getting late…

Gibbs felt victorious. He had managed to persuade the director to hire a new M.E. for his team in the person of his best friend, Donald Mallard. His current Medical Examiner, Jim Farrell, was only a week away from retirement and he had told the director that he only wanted to work with the best, despite what his mentor Mike Franks had told him. Ducky, as Gibbs affectionately called his other half was a skilled and eccentric doctor and Gibbs couldn't wait to tell his lover the good news.

Even though the new decade offered new possibilities, Gibbs and Ducky kept their relationship a secret. Mostly because Gibbs was a marine, and on top of that married to Shannon, a beautiful redhead. He loved Shannon deeply, and he loved his daughter to bits as well, but they couldn't give Gibbs what he truly needed; a safe, care-free environment where he could truly be himself.

Gibbs didn't have the feeling that he was cheating. He had already been married to Shannon before meeting Ducky. Ducky knew Gibbs was married when they started to get involved with each other, and  Ducky didn't seem to mind.

Like Shannon , Ducky didn't seem to be bothered by Gibbs' flaws. Gibbs knew he could be a bastard especially after spending weeks in a desert training. He knew that he could be very selfish and tactless but didn't really care about that. Shannon and Ducky still loved him, and that was all that mattered.

Gibbs steered his Dodge Charger on to Ducky's Reston property and was surprised to see his lover stand on the front porch. He didn't look too happy, either.

"Hey Duck." He smiled when he got out of the car.

"Jethro." Ducky acknowledged him with a nod, but his voice sounded cool, in fact, it made the special agent feel like he was standing in a freezer… naked.

"Duck?" Gibbs was confused. He tilted his head a little, he thought that his lover would be happy to see him. He walked up to his companion, but Ducky's steel gaze made him freeze in front of the steps. They were eye to eye now, and Gibbs wasn't sure what to expect.

"Did I ever mention to you that I need a solid job, Jethro?"

"No… but…"

"I got called by the director of NCIS telling me that one of his best agents had practically begged him to hire *me* as your team's new ME."

"I wanted to.."

"Jethro." Ducky interrupted him. "Do I look like someone who needs to work to have a decent life?"

"No… but…"

"I'm quite content with being a freelancer." Ducky continued. "I work when I want to."

"I can offer you a lot of dead bodies?" Gibbs tried.

"Jethro, it does not hurt to be respectful towards the departed." Ducky's voice turned even colder

"Duck, I am." He defended himself. "I just want to make it more interesting for you."

"I don't want to go through the security checks, Jethro." Ducky sighed. "Lots of my papers have been destroyed during the London Blitz, including my birth records."

"I will be doing your background check, Duck." Gibbs started. "I can…"

"No Jethro." Ducky said determined. "Now, go home."

"But Duck… what are you so afraid of? I must know all about the skeletons in your closet by now."

"Yes, dear, you do." Ducky's voice had started to warm up a bit, and his eyes weren't that icy blue any more. Yet, Gibbs could see that Ducky was lying.  "But please, Jethro, respect my wishes and go home, now."

"Why? Shannon knows I'm here."

"Donald?" An unidentified male voice sounded from the door, and when Gibbs moved his eyes from Ducky towards the other man, Ducky took a step to the left so he blocked his view.

"I'm sorry, Jethro."

"Who's that, Duck?" Gibbs managed to ask. He was furious, his lover cheated on him!

"No one to make a fuss about." Ducky told him. "Go home, I will give you a ring later."

"Duck." Jethro said surprised. "What the hell is going on?"

"Not now." Ducky said quietly and Gibbs decided to go home. Not that he was happy about it, the one person that he loved and trusted the most, had someone else. He was furious and tried to evade Shannon and Kelly when he arrived home by going directly to his basement so he could fill himself up with as much as alcohol as possible to try to see any logic in Ducky's actions.

Ducky had someone else, or maybe Gibbs was the someone else with whom Ducky cheated on the other man. He hadn't expected this kind of behavior from the Brit. Or maybe he should have, and Gibbs didn't know Ducky at all, or not as well as he thought because Ducky had lied to him too, Gibbs didn't know everything about his friend. The NIS agent was determined to find out.

The next day Gibbs went to see the director and asked him not to call Ducky anymore because Ducky didn't know about Gibbs trying to get him a job. Which was only half true, as Ducky was really pissing him off at the moment and Gibbs was eager to find out what his best friend was hiding.

Gibbs had already somewhat forgiven Ducky for the other man, because even though Gibbs was usually a loyal man, he wasn't really loyal towards Shannon because of his love and need for Ducky. It wasn't fair however, Gibbs was supposed to be the bastard, not the good natured Brit. And just because Ducky seemed to be perfect, he wasn't and that tickled the NIS agent's curiosity.

He had asked the director to give the 'go ahead' on doing the background check on Ducky anyway, just in case that Ducky would say 'yes' to the job in a few days or weeks.

The first thing he did was call the IRS. If Ducky really was a American citizen, they would have information about his naturalization.

"Sorry, sir." The clerk told him. "I can't give you information about Mr. Mallard."

"Why not?" Gibbs barked.

"Because, sir, my clearance isn't high enough."

"Give me your boss."

"I can't do that, sir."

"What if Mr. Mallard is suspected of a crime?"

"I still couldn't give you the information or call my boss, sir."

"Give me your supervisor or I'll come over and shove my boot so far up your ass…" he threatened.

"Mr. Gibbs, this conversation is being recorded and…" the clerk stammered.

"Give. Me. Your. Boss." Gibbs interrupted him.

"Yes, sir."

His boss, at least until his retirement, Mike Franks kept shaking his head. "You really need to be taught some phone manners, Gibbs."

"Since when do you care?"

Mike walked towards him and whacked him on the head. Gibbs winced when the hand landed on his head. "Sorry boss." Gibbs said. "I just need to do this."

"I know, Gunny." Mike nodded. "Just don't use that tone of voice with me."

Even the super of the IRS clerk couldn't help him, but a slip of the tongue of said boss told him that Duck's file was classified.

Was I invading in on your secrets

Was I too close for comfort

You’re pushing me out

When I wanted in

What was I just about to discover

When I got too close for comfort

Driving you home

Guess I’ll never know

Gibbs had to spent the remainder of the day on some crime scene, but he had troubles with concentrating on the task at hand, even a few head slaps from Mike couldn't stop him from blanking out, it was like he was a Probie all over again.

He thought about asking Fornell to do him a favor and find stuff on Ducky, even though Gibbs was certain that Fornell would refuse to do so, as he was the Brit's friend too.

Shannon thought that Gibbs was overreacting, as it wasn't a 'big deal' that his best friend was gay. Gibbs couldn't and didn't want to tell her what was going on and left her in the dark. He also decided to spend some time with his wife in the evening after he tucked his 6 year old daughter in bed, trying to get his mind off Ducky.

"I was cleaning out some old boxes today." Shannon started while they were watching some old Doctor Who marathon. "I’ve put some things aside for charity, if you don't mind."

"That's fine, sweetheart." Gibbs smiled and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"I found an old photo album." Shannon giggled and reached beside the sofa to get something. "I never knew how much Kelly looks like you when you were little."

"Oh God, baby pictures."

"Ah come on, Jethro. You were a cute little boy."

"With a permanently absent father." Gibbs told her. "There's nothing cute about that." He said grumpy. "Give it to me, I'll toss it away."

"What is wrong with you, Jethro?" Shannon asked while she hugged the album to her chest.

"You tell me. You're the psychologist." He muttered and got up. "Give me the album."

"No way." Shannon stood her ground. "I want something that's truly yours, should you die prematurely.”

"Well, that can be arranged." Gibbs shrugged and walked off to his basement to lock himself out from the rest of the world, to drown in alcohol hoping to pass out and have a good night's sleep.

Remember when we scratched our names into the sand

And told me you loved me?

But now that I find

That you’ve changed your mind

I’m lost for words

He was as pissed as a newt when he dialled Ducky's number. He needed to talk to the older man and thought it couldn't wait.

"Jethro, for God's sake, it's 3 am in the morning!" Ducky's voice sounded through the speaker, apparently he had first checked caller ID before picking up the phone.

"We need to talk, Duck."

"We do, dear, just not right now." Ducky sounded tired.

"Why, Duck?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Jethro."

"You know damn well what I'm talking about!" the reservist blurted through the phone.

"I do have a life of my own, Jethro. You have gone too far with trying to get me to work at NIS without asking me first."

"Not that." Gibbs whined.

"Nap.. Nigel and I go back a long time together." Ducky said calm. "He was my first love."

"Oh right, the amazing sex with the ex thing." Jethro said sarcastically.

"I never said he was my ex, Jethro."

Gibbs fell silent. Did Ducky really say that just now? "But what about me?"

"Life isn't always just about you, Jethro. It's time for you to finally stand on your own two feet."

"But I am!"

"Without me." Ducky responded. "You need to learn that you easily hurt people's feelings with some of your actions. You're 36 years old, stop drinking so much alcohol and grow up."

"But.."

I'll be going on a trip with Nigel for a few weeks. Don't call me. Goodnight, Jethro."

"You're selfish, Duck."

"I am not the only one." Ducky responded before he hung up.

Gibbs stared at the phone for a while, waiting for Ducky to call him back to say he was just messing with his head. The drunk man downed the rest of the cheap alcohol in one swig and collapsed on to the skeleton of the boat he was building.

Shannon woke him up. She was crying. " Shannon ?" Gibbs sat up, feeling the effect of drinking too much alcohol almost immediately. He pulled his wife towards him and put his arms around him, but she fought his hold. "Let go of me, Jethro." She whispered.

"What's going on?"

"I can't live with you when you're like this. I've seen it coming for a few weeks now, the alcohol abuse should have warned me, but…" she took a deep breath. "Even I can't stop you from destroying yourself."

"I'm not." Gibbs reacted. "Have you been talking to Ducky?" he asked her and waited for a reply. The redhead stayed silent. "Ducky isn't always right, Shannon." Gibbs said softly. "And if he is, leaving me won't help solve the problem."

"I'm not leaving you." Shannon shook her head. "Kelly and I are going to visit some relatives in New York ." She took a deep breath, but she was still crying. "I don't want to leave you, but a short break would help."

“But…”

“I mean it, Jethro.” Shannon sobbed. “I love you.” She trembled when she planted a kiss on his lips, he could taste the salt of her tears.

“Why are you trembling?” Gibbs asked softly. “Are you afraid of me?”

“See you in a few weeks, Jethro.” Shannon didn’t look at him when she climbed the stairs and left.

He realised that going after her wasn’t going to do any good and decided that it was for the best that she temporarily lived without him, as she thought it was the best thing to do. He didn’t really understand why, but it’d probably hit him on the head later, which was the usual thing when he had done something incredibly stupid. Just after he heard Shannon ’s car leave the property he dared to come out of his basement and take a shower to fresh up. He knew he was late for work, and would probably get scolded at by Mike. He’d also probably have desk duty the rest of the week, which normally, he’d mind but this would give him the opportunity to do Ducky’s background check.

Gibbs had been right, showing up late for work made Mike not a happy man. Gibbs was usually perfectly in time for work, fresh and glad to do something. In general, he could separate work and his private life just fine, but he found it difficult to concentrate right now. Two people leaving him at the same day wasn’t a walk in the park.

While he drove himself to work, he kept on thinking. Thinking was all he did after Shannon left with Kelly. To his knowledge, they didn’t know anyone in New York . Shannon’s relatives were in Ireland , most of them anyway, and he thought it was odd that Ducky was going on a trip too. With his ‘other’ lover.

“Go home, Jethro.” Mike told him. “Get your head in check.”

“But…”

“What’s the use of you staying here? You’re doing deskwork. You need your head.”

“I…”

“Go home.” Mike nearly dragged him away from his desk and kicked him towards the elevator. “I don’t want to see your ugly face for at least a week, Jethro.”

“Yes, sir.” Gibbs sighed as the elevator doors closed.

The second he came home, he locked himself up in his basement. Not that anyone was home, but he did it anyway, as a habit. He opened the cupboard where he stored his liquor in and opened a bottle of Jacks. He didn’t think about getting a cup or glass, and put the bottle to his lips, before downing at least half of the bottle in his mouth.

“What the hell am I doing?” Gibbs nagged out loud. “ Shannon ’s right… the second something’s wrong, I’m drinking.” He put the bottle on the nearest working bench and grabbed some sanding paper. The reservist looked at the boat he was building. It was nearly done and in a few weeks he could start painting her. The aft looked a little rough on the edges so he decided to sand it, again.

Around midnight, his arms had started to hurt. He took the bottle of Jacks again and sat down in a corner of his basement to observe his boat. He liked the cool touch of the walls and floor he was sitting on and he liked his boat. His boat was pretty, organized and perfect. His boat was everything he wasn’t. He reached for the telephone and dialled Fornell’s number. Fornell was a Fed, but a good friend. “Fuck it Jethro, I was…” Fornell’s voice sounded.

“Asleep.” Gibbs answered for him. “I know.”

“What?” he sounded agitated. Gibbs wasn’t surprised.

“ Shannon left me.”

“Only temporary.”

“How do you know?”

“Because she called me and told me not to help you.”

“With what?”

“Never mind.”

“I applaud you.” Gibbs sighed. “You’re on her side.”

“The best side.” Fornell replied. “For your own good.”

“Can you do something for me?”

“No.”

“Hear me out.”

“No.”

“Do a background check on Ducky.”

“NO!”

“And if I ask nicely?”

“No.”

“Tobias…” Gibbs nagged.

“No.” Fornell said sternly. “Goodnight, Jethro.” And then he hung up.

Gibbs sighed and decided to finish the rest of the alcohol and hope that a solution to this mess would knock on his door.

Duck… I’m not good with words. It’s fine that you have a different kind of man. It’s fine that I’m… not fully yours, because you’re not fully mine either. I’m a bastard. I’m not thinking, like you said. It’s time to do what’s right. You’re a great man, too good for me, and too highly educated to be with a guy like me. Even if it isn’t full-time like I wish we were. I love you, but I just know that your heart lies with Nigel.

I wish you a good life, with your man.

LJG.

Gibbs scribbled Ducky’s address on the envelope, put the letter in it, put a stamp on it and laid it near the door, ready to be posted. He laid down on the couch and passed out.

And everything I feel for you

I wrote down on one piece of paper

The one in your hand, you won't understand

How much it hurts to let you go

He had to let Ducky go, for his own good. Ducky was confusing him, and so was Shannon, but he needed to stay with Shannon because of Kelly. He loved the redhead to bits, and he just felt he had to let Ducky go, and let him live his own life. The older man deserved that, more than anything. And if the man was happier with that Nigel person, then so be it.

But he was still going to find out why Ducky obtained his green card without his birth records.

“Finally.” Gibbs sighed as he held the phone against his ear. He had tried to get a hold of someone high placed within Scotland Yard, to get information on his friend.

“Excuse me?” A British voice sounded from the other end.

“I’m sorry. I’m Special Agent Jethro Gibbs, I’m calling you to get some information on a former co-worker of yours.”

“I’m sorry Agent Gibbs, you do know that we don’t give out that information.”

“I know, but all I want to hear is a yes or no, you can do that, right?”

“I can try.” The Brit sounded tired.

“Do you know a Dr. Donald Mallard?”

It was quiet for a while. “Dr. Mallard has never worked for us, Agent Gibbs.” The Brit said. “I went through the personnel records.”

“Oh, and that you can do?”

“Was that all, sir?”

“Yes, thank you.” Gibbs hung up the phone and sighed. So Ducky had lied. He had never worked for Scotland Yard. He was thinking about trying the British Secret Service but he could guess that it’d be pointless.

Gibbs let it rest for the rest of the year. He didn’t want to know about the skeletons in Ducky’s closet. He didn’t want to know why Ducky lied to him. When Shannon returned home with Kelly, life went by as usual, until he was called to duty to fight in operation Desert Storm, and he took the chance. It’d give him the opportunity to forget about all the trouble at home, to forget about Ducky. Not that he had talked to him after Shannon returned, but he needed to forget. Ducky was the past. Shooting people would definitely help.

Was I invading in on your secrets

Was I too close for comfort

You're pushing me out

When I wanted in

What was I just about to discover

I got too close for comfort

driving you home

Guess I'll never know

“Why are you here?” Gibbs voice sounded rusty. He had gotten wounded in Desert Storm, been in a coma for 19 days, and his knee got busted. He didn’t want to see him, he wanted to see his wife and child, not… him.

“Because you need a familiar face, dear.” The Brit answered him.

“Where’s Shannon ?” Gibbs demanded.

“All in good time.”

“Duck…”

“Jethro… we need to talk.” Ducky started. “But not now, please.”

“But…”

“Recover first. Talk later. Until then, I’m here.”

“Shouldn’t you be with Nigel?” Gibbs tried to sit up but it hurt too much and decided that it would be best to stay horizontal. He looked at his friend, he looked tired and pretty shaken up.

“Nigel?” he answered him.

“Your boyfriend.”

“Oh!” Ducky called out. “Yes… Nigel eh.. passed away just before you went off to Desert Storm.” He said a little calmer. “He passed quietly though. He had no pain.”

“Tell me about him.”

“Jethro, I don’t think this is the time to…”

“Duck, tell me about him.”

All this time you've been telling me lies

Hidden in bags that are under your eyes

And when I asked you I knew I was right

Ducky took a chair and settled next to Gibbs’ bed. He took a deep breath and smiled a little. “Nap… I met Nigel when I arrived in America, as some sort of exchange student for Scotland Yard.” Ducky started. “We worked together for years, doing some higly secret things, and no, I cannot tell you what we did.”

“Duck, I know that you’ve never worked for Scotland Yard.” Gibbs said hesitantly.

“What?” Ducky’s face started to loose color.

“Don’t worry, Duck.” Gibbs told him. “I’ve decided not to dig further. It’s fine that you’re lying to me about your past, you must have your reasons.”

“Jethro, I don’t mean to…”

“Duck, it’s fine. I should stop being the bastard that I am, and I’m starting to do so after I leave this hospital.”

“Thank you, Jethro.”

“Just… how old are you, really?”

“I’m 50, Jethro, you know that.”

“I don’t believe you, but it’s fine.”

Ducky’s eyes were twinkling. They didn’t look directly towards him, either. Ducky was hiding something, and Gibbs just told him that he didn’t care about that. He shook his head. “Duck… just… leave, okay? And tell Shannon that I love her?”

“She knows you do.”

“I’ll be a changed man when I come home.”

“I know.”

“I’ve learned from my mistakes… I guess I should have an accident like this more often…”

“Don’t say that, dear.”

Ducky was back. It was the day that the special agent was getting discharged from the hospital and he hadn’t seen Shannon after he got transferred to Bethesda . It worried him. “Duck, did she leave me?” Gibbs sat on the edge of his bed. His legs were dangling off the side, and his casted leg felt heavy.

“Yes.”

“What?!”

“She…” Ducky swallowed, hard. The man who never got short of words was speechless. “She and Kelly died in a car accident, I’m sorry, Jethro…” Gibbs saw tears in Ducky’s eyes.

“Are you lying to me, again?” Gibbs asked dryly.

“I’m not, dear.” Ducky said seriously. “I did the autopsy myself, as I wouldn’t let the NIS M.E. do that, as he didn’t know them.”

“Duck…”

“I am sorry, dearest.”

“Fuck it!” Gibbs bursted out. “I don’t believe you!”

“It’s the truth, Jethro.”

“Since when do you tell the truth, Duck?” Gibbs shot at him.

“I deserved that, yes.” Ducky said softly. “Do you want me to leave?”

“Yes!”

Gibbs saw Ducky leave. Ducky didn’t seem too happy, but Gibbs wasn’t happy either. No way that Shannon and Kelly were dead. When he dialled his home number on the phone next to his bed, no one answered the phone. Then, he decided to call a taxi and go home. Ducky was lying, he knew that for sure, as he didn’t tell him where Shannon and Kelly were buried. “You need a ride?” Fornell’s voice sounded.

“To where?”

Fornell sighed. “I saw Ducky leaving your room so…” he shrugged. “I guess you don’t want to ride with him.”

“No.” Gibbs said sternly. “He’s telling me that Shannon and Kelly are gone.”

“They are, Jethro.” Fornell said seriously.

“Tobias… are you lying to me now too?”

“No.” Fornell helped him off the bed and grabbed his bag. “Come on.” He said softly. “I’ll take you to them.”

But if you turn your back on me now

That I need you most

But you chose let me down, down, down

Wont you think about what you're about to do to me

And back down...

So Ducky had spoken the truth. Shannon and Kelly were gone. He couldn’t laugh with Shannon anymore, adore Kelly or see Kelly smile. His rock and his princess were gone, and he had been one big bastard before he had left for Desert Storm. He kissed them both goodbye when he did, but it wasn’t enough. It was all pretense, because Kelly couldn’t know about their difficulties.

He was flipping through some old photo albums, to remember the good times he had with Shannon , and even discovered some old photo albums of her youth, which were fun to look at. He even decided to have a look at his old photo albums. Even though he had a rough childhood, he decided to remember the bastard, his father, along with Shannon . He nearly got a heart attack when he saw a picture of him as a baby in his father’s arms, as his father was flanked by a young Ducky and a man who looked like Ducky, so the extra person must have been the M.E.’s father.

He decided to bury himself in work. That way, he didn’t have to grieve for the loss, and he didn’t even allow himself to grieve, mostly because he knew that if he did, he’d fall apart. Without Ducky, he didn’t want to.

He decided to dig further into Ducky’s past. Who was that Nigel guy? Why did Ducky lie about working for Scotland Yard? Why was he a French pastry Chef? How old was Ducky, really? And why was Ducky lying to him in general? And why was Ducky on a baby picture of Gibbs?

“Duck!” Gibbs knocked on the door of his friend. “We need to talk!”

“Go away Jethro.” Ducky’s voice sounded.

“No!”

He heard some noise behind the door and the door opened. Ducky looked terrible. His eyes had a dull blue color and his hair was a mess.

“Did I wake you?”

“No, dear.” Ducky sighed. “Now is not a good time.”

“It never is.” Gibbs pushed Ducky lightly aside and stepped into the hall. He turned around to face the older man and shook his head. “You need to take care of yourself, Duck.”

“I am.” The man closed the door and pointed towards the den. “Take a seat, Jethro. I’ll make some coffee.” He said calmly.

“What’s wrong, Duck?”

“Nothing.” Ducky sighed. “Absolutely nothing.”

“Duck… You can tell me, you know that.”

“I know, but I can’t tell you this.”

“Duck…”

“Take a seat, Jethro.” Ducky commanded. “I’ll be right with you.” Ducky sounded cold.

Gibbs didn’t protest. Something in Ducky’s voice told him to obey the older man, and he did. He walked into the den and saw photo albums laying around. He didn’t want to take a look at them, but his eye fell on a picture with a young Ducky, probably around the age from the picture Gibbs was carrying with him, and a young woman, who looked like Ducky as two drops of water. The text underneath the picture was in Russian. The dream team it said.

“Hey, Duck, why is your photo album in Russian?” Gibbs called out without thinking about it.

“Because, most people don’t know how to read that.” Ducky told him as he walked into the den with two cups of coffee. “I liked to do that when I was younger.” Ducky nodded. He set the cups on the table and closed the photo albums. “I forgot you’re fluent in Russian.”

“Yeah.”

“What brings you here, Jethro? After all, I lie.”

“Who was that girl on the picture?”

“My sister.” Ducky answered patiently.

“Your sister?” Gibbs echoed. “I never knew you had one.”

“I did, in a different life.” Ducky sighed. “Am I lying now?”

“No.”

“I know.” Ducky nodded. “She’s my twin sister… was.”

“She died?”

“This morning.” Ducky said quietly. “I’m flying to Russia tomorrow.”

“ Russia ?”

“Yes.”

“Why Russia ?”

“Because she lived there.” Ducky looked at him sternly. “Are you done?”

“No.” Gibbs replied. “But I am, if you want me to.”

“I want you to be done.”

“Okay.” Gibbs took a sip of his coffee. “I want to ask you something.”

“And what’s that, dear?”

“Why are you in this picture?” Gibbs took the picture out of his breast pocket and showed his friend the picture. “That’s my father, me as a baby, a younger you, and an older version of you.”

Ducky’s face turned as white as a sheet. “Eh.” The older man stammered. “I’m not certain if I can tell you that…”

“Duck.” Gibbs put his hand on the other man’s knee. “Tell me.”

“I can’t.” Ducky sighed.

“Duck.” Gibbs nagged. “I hate to beg.”

“You never do, Jethro.” Ducky told him and looked him straight in the eyes. “Alright.” The Brit sighed. “I worked with your father a few times… and my father too.”

“With that Nigel?”

“Yes.”

“But, why are you on this pic then? Were you that close?”

“Yes.”

“But, you look like 25 here… that means you’re older than you say you are.”

“Yes.”

“Is it just co-incidence that we met?”

“No.” Ducky shook his head. “I’m afraid not, dear.”

“What?”

“Your father asked me to look after you.” Ducky answered. “After I was done with what I was doing, I had the liberty to do so. I just hadn’t anticipated that I would fall in love with you, dearest.”

“So?”

“I send Shannon into your path.”

“What?!” Gibbs blurted. “But… I didn’t know you before Shannon .”

“I have always been here.”

“But…”

“Forget it Jethro.” Ducky sighed. “I’m not in the mood for this. So finish your coffee, and please, leave.”

“Want me to come along to Russia ?”

“No.”

Gibbs sighed and finished his coffee. “I’m sorry for your loss, Duck.” He said while he got up. “I mean it.”

“I know, Jethro.” Ducky managed to smile faintly. “Glad to see you’re learning to communicate.”

“You’re never too old to learn.” Gibbs nodded and planted a kiss on Ducky’s forehead. “Good luck.”

“Thank you.”

Was I invading in on your secrets

Was I too close for comfort

You're pushing me out

When I wanted in

What was I just about to discover

I got too close for comfort

You're pushing me out

When I wanted in

“Jethro.” Fornell stood in front of his desk, accompanied by two other FBI goons.

“What?” Gibbs looked up. “I’m busy, Fornell.” He took a deep breath. “Ever since Mike left…”

“I have a request.”

“I don’t know if I can oblige.” Gibbs looked puzzled. He saw a smile appear on his friends’ face.

“Stop digging into Ducky’s past.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s in the witness protection programme.” Fornell answered. “And he’s already breaking rules, he can’t use your poking around.”

“And what if I’m not listening?”

“Then I’ll arrest you, right now.”

“Fine.” Gibbs shot at him. “I know enough now anyway.”

“Jethro?” Fornell asked.

“I’m not telling. I don’t want to get shot.”

Fornell smiled. “Good.”

Gibbs was cleaning his house when the doorbell rang. “You know it’s not locked.” Gibbs blurted before switching off the vacuum cleaner. “I’m not opening it for you.”

The door hesitantly opened. “Jethro?”

“Hey Duck. How was Russia ?” Gibbs replied chipper. “You know, a clean house makes one’s mind very clear as well.”

“I know, dear.” Ducky replied, before closing the door behind him. “I’m sorry for my behaviour recently. It was very childish of me.”
”Don’t be sorry.” The reservist walked to Ducky and hung up his coat. “I haven’t been quite myself either.”

“I think…”

“It was necessary Duck.” Gibbs replied. “You did a good thing.”

“Some decisions were good.” Ducky noted and followed him towards the den. “But we need to talk. I don’t want to lie anymore, but you need to keep this a secret.”

“If you do want to work for NCIS, I’ll make sure you’ll pass the security check.”

“It’s not that, Jethro.” Ducky chuckled and sat down. The older man looked happy, almost relieved. “And you were right, I am older than I say I am.”

“How much older?”

“Only 20 years, dear.”

“So… you’re… 58?”

“Yes.”

“It’s not that much older.” Gibbs poured some bourbon in two glasses and handed one to Ducky.

“And I haven’t been a Medical Examiner all my life either.” Ducky took the glass and immediately took a sip of it.

“I always though it was weird for dad working with an ME.”

“I get the feeling that I don’t need to tell you anything else.” Ducky smiled faintly.

“Nigel was Napoleon Solo, wasn’t he?”

“Yes.”

“That makes you Illya Kuryakin.” He saw the baffled look on Ducky’s face. “I’m an investigator, Duck, that’s what I do. And your secret is safe with me.”

Ducky smiled. “Thank you, Jethro… but how?”

“Connecting the dots.” Gibbs shrugged. “I don’t need much information, but a threatening Tobias is always scary.”

The older man snickered. “I guess so… I really hope that this doesn’t change things between us, Jethro.”

“Hell no!” Gibbs laughed. “Now I’m certain that you can take care of yourself, in case you might get into trouble.”

“If I get into trouble, dearest, then it’s because of you.” Ducky chuckled. “I hope you’re not mad at me for trying to arrange your life for you.”

“I need it.” Gibbs said seriously. “I need you.” He looked at Ducky, trying to meet his eyes. “I guess dad always knew that no matter how old I got I need someone to look after me.”

“Your father didn’t mean to be such a bastard, Jethro.”

“I know.” Both men sipped their drinks in silence. “Duck?” Gibbs said after a while.

“Yes?”
”Can I kiss you?”