"Buffy dear, phone. It's Willow." Joyce Summers called up the stairs to her daughter.

Buffy picked up the phone in her room. "Hey Will, what's up?"

"Nothing much. Just thought that I'd call and see how you were feeling" the pretty red-headed Slayerette replied.

"I'm still feeling pretty lousy. Did I miss anything, that I probably would have missed anyway had I been in class, but wasn't because I was home sick today?" the Slayer quipped.

"Nothing too exciting. Xander tried to show his 'manly-ness' by stuffing four Twinkies in his mouth at once and nearly choked. Cordelia, well she was her usual self. And Giles said to wish you a speedy recovery so that you could resume training." replied the red-headed Slayerette.

"How thoughtful of Giles." Buffy replied between sneezes. "I'll have to remember to 'express' my gratitude for his concern during our next training session."

"Oh, and there was a pop quiz in biology on the digestive system." Willow said gingerly, knowing how much the Slayer despised pop tests.

Buffy Summers closed her eyes and shook her head to herself. "Eeeww, not a pop quiz. Anything but that."

After the call was done Buffy closed her eyes and tried to sleep. Hard as she tried, her mind kept drifting to thoughts of school as she dozed off.

~~~~~ Begin dream sequence ~~~~~

Buffy Summers looked around the Library. Everyone was there. Giles, Xander, Willow, Cordelia, Oz and Angel. *ANGEL! It's 9am what's Angel doing here?* Buffy thought to herself. *Oh well, I guess dreams are just wacky like that.*

"Hey, Buff." Xander said. "You gonna to go to 'Action Mountain' this weekend? I hear it's grand opening is Saturday."

"What's 'Action Mountain'?" the red-headed Slayerette asked quizzically.

"Only the wildest, scariest, best scream your lungs out ride in the world!" replied the Slayer excitedly. "You bet I'm going!

"How 'bout you, Giles? You wanna come too?" Xander inquired between bites of various snack foods that he deemed "the breakfast of champions".

"Um, well, uh, er, no thank you, Xander" the Englishman replied. "I'm afraid that I don't have the stomach for it."

Standing outside the library door, Ms. Frizzle smiled to herself and said "Oh, I'll bet you do, Mr. Giles, I bet you do."

***********

"Good Morning, Class!" Ms. Frizzle said brightly as the bell that signaled the start of class rang. "Today we will be learning all about what happens to the food we eat." Then she continued "To help us understand the whole digestive process better, I suggest we all go on a little field trip."

With the mention of 'field trip' the whole class cheered!

*This must be my lucky day.* Buffy thought to herself.

"Okay class, to the bus." the Frizz announced. "Oh and Willow, would you mind running these scones I made over to Mr. Giles before we leave?"

"Not at all." Willow replied happily. "Save me a seat on the bus, okay Oz?"

"You bet he will. You little teachers pet, you." Xander teased. Then he added "Right next to Dead-Boy and Buffy".

Buffy said "Hey!" and punched him in the arm. Angel just rolled his eyes said "Would you please stop calling me that?"

******** With everyone finally situated on the bus at last, Ms. Frizzle said "Ah, our timing should be just about right."

**She'd zeroed the bus scope in on Giles. Through the open library window she could see that he was just about to bite into one of the scones she's made for him.**

"I don't get it?" Willow started to say. "I thought that we were suppose to be learning about what happens to the food we eat?

"Yeah, where 'are' we going?" Oz inquired.

Cryptically, Ms. Frizzle replies "Not far, class, not far at all."

"Here we go!!!" The Frizz exclaimed.

**Suddenly the bus whirls and spins and shrinks until it's about the size of a pencil eraser. Then it flies into the scone that Giles is lifting to his mouth to take a bite of.**

"Where are we?" Buffy asks.

"Weird, check out the pink pavement and the dripping walls." Angel muses. "I've never quite seen anything like this before. Even here on the Hell Mouth."

"Um, excuse me, but what are those humungo white things?" Cordelia asks nervously.

"If you ask me, they look like humungo bus crushers!" Xander exclaims.

"Actually, Xander, they're more like humungo 'food' crushers." Ms. Frizzle replies.

Suddenly, putting it together Willow questions "Wait a minute. If that's food...."

Xander chimes in "We're either on the wackiest cutting board in the world, or....."

"In somebody's mouth!" Angle finishes

"EEEWWWW" the May Queen says, "I think that I'm going to be sick!"

"BINGO, Angel. But not just anybody's mouth." The Frizz says with a smile.

**A monitor comes down with an outline of a familiar looking male with glasses. There is a little blip on the map in the mouth.**

"Look familiar?" Ms. Frizzle continues.

"GILES!" they all exclaim together.

***************

The End – BtVS For lunch, part 1

Part 2

Ah, peace and quite at last" Giles muses to himself as he settles down at the table. "I wonder where Ms. Frizzle took them?" he wonders as he takes another bite of scone.

******

Mean while back on the bus...

Willow announces proudly, "So the first thing that happens to food when it gets digested is the teeth cut and grind it into small pieces."

Suddenly, Cordelia exclaims, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but after chewing comes...SWALLOWING!"

"I call it 'Action Giles', the wildest, scariest, best scream your lungs out ride in the world!" the Frizz announces. And with her trademark "WA-HOO!" Giles swallows them.

******

"Class, welcome to the esophagus." Ms. Frizzle says cheerily.

"The asparagus?" Xander says quizzically.

"No silly" replies Willow, "The 'esophagus'. It's where the food goes after you swallow."

"Ahhhh" Ms. Frizzle says and lets go of the steering wheel to kicks back relaxing with arms behind her head.

"What are you doing, Ms. Frizzle! Shouldn't you be doing the whole 'driving' thing. You know the hands on wheel, watching where we're going thing?" Cordellia asked anxiously.

"Maybe she's went to the same driving school as you, Cordie." Xander quipped. The May Queen didn't reply verbally, she just gave him her trademark glare.

Buffy and Angel exchanged smiles but didn't dare say anything.

"Don't worry, Cordellia." the Frizz replied "It's time to let Giles' digestive system do the work."

Looking out the window at the long, pink tube that they were travelling down, Oz remarked "It's like we're driving through a tunnel, but the tunnel is driving us. Very cool."

"I wonder if this is what it feels like to get squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste?" Buffy commented.

"I don't know." was Angel's reply, "But I get the feeling that we're not going to wind up on Giles' toothbrush!"

"How right you are, Angel. The esophagus connects the digestive system to the....Anyone?" Ms. Frizzle quizzed.

A very green, very queasy Cordellia replied "I think that I'm going to be sick. I don't know how much more of this I can stomach."

"EXCELLENT, Cordellia!" said the Frizz "The stomach is the next step in digestion and it's a real doozie!"

**The bus begins it's free fall down from the esophagus**

"In just a few moments class, we'll be landing in Giles' stomach. Thank you for flying digestion airways."

**The bus lands in Giles' stomach with a splash**

"Now that's what I call a belly flop" Oz quips and high fives Xander.

"Check out the pink cliffs of Giles" Xander says.

"Xander, those aren't cliff's, that's his stomach wall" Angel said pointedly

"I knew that Dead-Boy! I was just making a comment. So lighten up." Xander retorted

"Enough already you two." Buffy said, punching each of them in the arm.

Looking out the window, Oz commented, "Is it just me or do you get the idea that there is more out there then just food and water?"

Cordelia looks out the window and shrieks "Well, whatever it is, it looks like it's eating the bus!"

"Oh, nothing to worry about class." the Frizz replied in her usual cheery voice. "Just a little stomach acid."

"STOMACH ACID?!?!" they all screamed in unison.

************

Suddenly, the scene changes to a cartoon version of Willow and the digestive system. The cartoon Willow says "Here at United Digestion, we believe in breaking things down. First we start with the raw materials, put them in the mouth, use the finest teeth in the world to grind and crush it into pieces small enough to swallow. Then the food gets pushed down the esophagus where it gets pushed into the stomach. At Stomach Central, we add acids and other chemicals to break down the foods and dissolve it into a liquid. But that's only half of what we do here at United Digestion."

*************

Back on the bus...

"Man, when it comes to digestion, the G-Man doesn't mess around!" Xander announced proudly.

"You haven't seen anything yet, class." the Frizz remarked with a twinkle in her eye.

"You mean that there's more??" a still very green May Queen asked.

"Oh no! What's that? Poor Giles. It looks like he has a hole in his stomach." Buffy said as she stared at the thing that was opening and closing at the bottom of Giles' stomach.

"Not a hole, Buffy." Ms Frizzle replied "A valve. That's the doorway to his small intestine and HERE WE GO!"

A chorus of "AUGHS!" comes from everyone as the bus turns into a submarine and goes through the valve.

*************** "Where are we, Ms. Frizzle? It looks like scuba world." Buffy commented

"We're in the small intestine. The next step in digestion" she replied

"I don't get it." Xander started, only to be interrupted by Angel saying "You never do." under his breath. "I heard that Angel!" Xander stated. "Anyway, as I was saying, the food has been dissolved, digested, whatever. What's left to do?"

"As I always say, Xander" a suddenly decked out in scuba gear Ms. Frizzle continued "Digested is not delivered! Anyone for a dip?"

"Go swimming in Giles' digestive juice?" Cordelia stammered "You're kidding right? Uh-uh, no way! You're never going to get me out there. This is a new outfit. Do you have any idea how much this cost? Of course you don't, you're a teacher you don't have any money."

Swimming past Buffy, Cordelia quips "How was I suppose to know that she'd have digestive juice scuba gear?!"

"Isn't this the coolest" Buffy said excitedly, which earned her a very odd look from Angel. "I mean, the whole we're swimming in Giles' digestive juice ick factor aside, you have to admit it is pretty cool."

"Hey guys look at this." Oz yells. "The dissolved food is disappearing into these rubber-like cactus things. They're soaking it up like a sponge"

"Those are called vili." Ms. Frizzle replies.

Puzzled, Oz questions "But where did it go?"

*************

Suddenly, the scene changes again to a cartoon version of Willow and the digestive system. The cartoon Willow says "Here at United Digestion what we digest, we deliver. As the vili in the small intestine soak up the nutrients in the food, the nutrients are transferred into the blood stream. The blood stream delivers the nutrients to all parts of the body. Because here at United Digestion, we believe in turning food into fuel."

*************

Back on the bus....

"Oh, I get it!" Xander says as he slaps his head. "The blood stream acts like a pizza delivery service for the body, only it delivers energy instead of pizza's."

Grinning, Buffy says "Leave it to you to come up with a food analogy Xander."

"Hey," Angel says looking around, "what happened to Cordelia?"

Off in the distance, they can hear Cordelia screaming.

**Everyone gets on the bus and starts looking for her.**

Discouraged, Xander complains "We've been through the entire small intestine and there is no sign of her."

"Ah" Ms. Frizzle says "There she is. It looks like she's headed into the large intestine."

"The LARGE intestine?!" Buffy whines. "You mean there's more?"

As a large wave of material and the bus comes around the bend, Buffy's whine turns to concern. "What's that?!" she asks.

"Just Giles' leftovers." the Frizz says simply with a hint of a smile in her voice.

Before anyone can do anything, they're caught in the wave and are being sucked towards the valve that leads to the large intestine.

Once again, there is a chorus of "AUGHS" from everyone on the bus.

************

The End - Part 2

Part 3

The wave carried the gang through the valve from the small intestine and plopped them down with a thud inside the large intestine. Since the large intestine is basically dry inside, they all take off their scuba masks.

"Eww, gross. I am so not loving this smell." Buffy says.

"Man" quips Xander, "If the small intestine was scuba world the large intestine is smell world!"

Angel snickers "I'll have to admit, this is one time I'm glad I don't have to breathe."

Willow, always the optimist replies "Well, look on the bright side, at least it's dryer in here and we're not longer swimming in digestive juice. That would be a good thing, right?"

"A very fine point, Willow. Thank you." Buffy stated matter-of-factly

Looking around, Xander suddenly remembers "We still haven't found Cordelia. Cordelia! If you can hear me, scream."

Off in the distance, Cordelia starts screaming. Everyone jumps into the bus and they start cruising down the large intestine in search of Cordelia.

"The further we go, the drier it seems to get." Willow remarked as she looked out the window.

"Wow, this is amazing. It looks to me like the walls are sucking up all the water." Oz says back to Willow

"That's the large intestine for you class." the Frizz announced "It removes all the water from the leftovers."

"We'd better find Cordelia and fast!" Xander blurted "before she gets dried into a raisin or something."

Buffy, unable to help herself says "A 'Cordelia-Raisin cool. I'd love to see that."

Xander glares at Buffy, but everyone else busts up laughing at the mental image of Cordelia as a raisin.

"Okay, okay" Buffy replies in mock surrender "not cool, Cordy-Raisin bad, terrible, can't have that now can we."

As the bus rounds a bend, they find Cordelia at last. Looking a little frazzled, but none the worse for wear she throws herself at Xander.

"I am never going to get this 'smell' off of me. And my hair, my hair is, oh God, I am not even going to think about it. I am going to go sit on the bus and die now."

"Well" Buffy muses "I have to admit that this have been one of the wildest, scariest, best scream your lungs out ride in the world, Ms. Frizzle. Although, I don't think that I ever want to ride it again."

"But it's not over yet, Buffy." the Frizz replies with that trademark twinkle in her eye.

"Now, wait just a minute here!" Xander stammers "We've done the mouth, the esophagus, the stomach and the small and large intestines. What possibly could be left? The extra-large intestines?!?"

"No, Xander" the Frizz replies laughing "We just have to join the rest of the waste products and finish the trip."

Everyone's eyes are drawn to the piles of 'leftovers' collecting about the bottom of the intestine.

"Wait a minute," Willow blurts "the waste products go....."

"That's right, Willow." Ms. Frizzle says smiling innocently.

"NO WAY!" Angle growls game face suddenly in place

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Buffy states firmly "I am NOT going to wind up in the toilet!"

"Anyone have a better idea?" replied a still smiling Ms. Frizzle

"Um, couldn't we just go back the way we came?" Oz asked hopefully.

"We could couldn't we?" asked a very hopeful Willow "After all, the digestive system is just one long tube divided into parts."

"Yeah" the Slayer said thinking out loud "We started out in the mouth, got squeezed down the esophagus, landed in the stomach. Got pushed into the small intestine and wound up here in the large intestine. And since we don't want to wind up in the toilet, all we have to do is go backwards right?"

"It won't be easy, class. Digestion pushes everything down. We'll have to fight our way back up. We might never make it." Ms. Frizzle said somberly.

"Never say never!" they all replied

The bus struggles to make it's way back though the large and small intestines. Once it hits the stomach, Ms. Frizzle announces "Looks like we're in luck class, it's raining. Mr. Giles is going to help get us out of here!"

"How is that?" Angel inquires, game face gone now. "Seltzer." was the simple reply. "Seltzer?" a confused Angel asks.

Looking up, everyone notices drops falling from the esophagus valve.

"Oh, I think I get it" Willow says happily "the carbonation in the seltzer is going to get us out of here. Quick everyone! Start rocking the bus."

Everyone starts rocking the bus and a giant gas bubble forms around it. The bubble rises to the esophagus opening and in one giant "Belch" from Giles the class is free.

***********

Sitting up bed, Buffy shakes her head "That has got to be one of the strangest dreams I've ever had." She picks up the phone and calls Willow. "Hey, Will, it's me. Yes, I'm feeling a little better. You are so not going to believe this dream I just had....."

************

The End.