Where do I begin, what seems like a lifetime ago, I walked into their house, like a ‘Lamb to the Slaughter’. I had been learning the Craft with a HPS, and was happy, even though I was like a sponge and needed more input. Then, another HPS had asked me to do a talk, at her open evening, about my Pagan Path, which I agreed to do. This in turn upset my present HPS, as I had not told her about it, totally an oversight on my behalf, but hey I was my own person. This gave the opening the new HPS had been waiting for. After the evening I went back to their place, and while talking to the new HPS and her HP, they started asking me questions regarding what I had learnt under my HPS’ teaching. Some of the questions I answered, and some I couldn’t. Which they replied with, “You should know that, you’ve done your Dedication, that is something you should know, from the start of your training” So, I then started to doubt my HPS’ teaching. Then the HPS and HP decided that my HPS must want me there for other reasons, other than learning the craft, and started making remarks about her sexual preference. Alarm bells started to ring. The next thing I know I am railroaded into learning with this new HPS and HP.and with regards to my HPS, I am told, “Don’t worry about your HPS, HP will deal with it, but don’t speak to her about anything”
SO IT ALL BEGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7-00pm and was copying out of her Book of Shadows till midnight. This was fine, she was feeding my hunger, as the weeks rolled by so my Book of Shadows grew. Then HPS started to show me stuff in her other Book of Shadows, which she said, “No one else had ever seen, and no was to see ever!” My mind was ruffled.
Then came her open evenings, she asked me to do the MC, this upset another woman, but HPS was adamant that I was to do it, so HPS got rid of the woman in her usual back stabbing way. Then everyone who was anything to do with the open evening was told not to have anything to do with her! This was the first sign of the side of this HPS that I didn’t know about, or even knew existed, but one thing for sure, I didn’t like it.
As time went on everything at the open meeting was rosy, but HPS was getting more and more of an ego. I was happy doing the M.C. and happy with my Craft study, my Book of Shadows was growing, but all the time, HPS kept on and on about the work I’d got, and what I hadn’t got with my other HPS, more doubts about my other HPS crept in. The next thing to happen was HPS asked me to go to hers more often, the work she started to do with me, was more intense, much more intense than the usual Craft stuff, we had been doing. I eventually asked her, what was going on? And was I learning all this for a reason? “Oh yes, I’m preparing you to take over from me!” came her reply. Then one night at the open evening I had a lady come up to me, and started asking me about the Craft, then some one I knew asked me about teaching her? I found out she had asked HPS, and she had said, “Speak to Carolyn, sort it out with her” I spoke to HPS about this, and she said “it will be fine, you do the theory, and HP and Myself will do the practical” Who was I to argue, this HPS and HP, are Elder’s
I am then taken round the Spiritual Churches that they do, being shown off like ‘some prize puppy’ the HPS referred to me as: - “one of her filly’s, out of her prize stable” One Sunday, HPS was taken very ill, I was worried and upset by this, I got a phone call asking if I would go with HP to Northampton, to the Church booking as HPS was not well enough to go. I was totally hoodwinked, I was told I would be there to give a talk, just like I had at their open evening, and it was nothing to worry about, I had done it before, and would be fine. I agreed to go, when HP and myself got there, I found out it was to do Clairvoyance, talk about dropped in the deep end, I had to sink or swim, so I swam, I didn’t want to look an idiot, now I feel totally out of control, things were being arranged without my prior knowledge.
In between all this, I am introduced to another woman, and we were thrown together, to do different work for HPS, she informs us, I will be her number 1, and the other woman, would be her number 2. We were to deal with all the stuff she can’t deal with anymore, because of her health, as well as, we were going to learn all of her forty years of knowledge, I’d deal with all the Craft stuff, and the other woman would deal with the rest. So, there I am, teaching two groups, dealing with the open evening, plus what ever else she throws at me, and guess what! Her Coven are the best thing since sliced bread! But everything is done on “A need to know basis” Things then kicked off with one of the people I was teaching and her partner is evolved in the open night as well, myself and the other person end up having words, HPS and HP step in, and guess what! Goodbye to those two, and once again I’m told not to have anything to do with them, the same as I was told with my previous HPS and the other person from the open evening.
I then have to go into hospital for exploratory surgery, my false knee is finally giving up, I’m only in for one day, but have to take it easy, HPS and HP, then decide they are going to do everyone Dedication, without them knowing. I wasn’t sure about this, I thought it was your choice to take Dedication, but HPS and HP know best. I was really proud of my group, and even with a sore knee, I gave them all the Five Fold Kiss in salute. HPS and HP, then decided they wanted a group of Old folk to come and see our Circle, it would be like a demonstration, that was a laugh, we were all lead to believe these people, were interested in the Craft, they didn’t know a thing about the Craft at all, and a couple of them got really spooked.
Then HPS and HP start talking about my Initiation, all of the rest of the Coven think its my Second Degree, but guess what, it’s not! It’s my First, but once again this is on “A need to know basis”! I am then informed it won’t be done here, it will be done miles away by another Coven, and a HP, I don’t even know. When I ask why? I am told other Craft people in this area, won’t believe I deserve it, so this is the way it will be done! This turns into one mess after another, first Keith can come, and then he can’t. They are taking me miles away, I don’t know where I am going, and my husband can’t come with me, I’m NOT happy. In the end they let HPS number 2 come with me, I feel abit happier, but I’m excited as well cause I’ve worked hard, and my Initiation is going to be done.
