PART FOUR

later I received an email from HP, asking if I would meet him in the shopping centre for a chat, I said I would, and we arranged it for the Thursday, he did make a point of asking me to come alone!. When I told Willowhawk and the others, they were not happy about me going alone, those that couldn’t make it gave me a piece of their jewellery, so that they would be with me in Spirit, however, Willowhawk and one of the others came with me. When it was time for me to meet HP in the arranged place, Willowhawk and the other person hid behind a pillar, (it was so funny, it was like something out of a comedy spy movie). HP and myself sat down on some chairs, and I told him exactly what I had been told, hardly taking a breath, but most of all not letting him get a word in. I told him how hurt I was and confused. I then let him have his say, with tears in his eyes, telling me how he was in my corner all the time, and how all he ever did was protect me. (BULLSHIT, he twisted the knife). Then he showed me a letter he and HPS had received from one of the Coverner’s that sat in my house telling me what they were up to. This letter was damming me in every shape and form, this at first I took with a pinch of salt, but I was later proved wrong on that one. His last ditch attempt to get me back on side was to tell me, he hadn’t felt this sad since his son died 16 years ago, (Emotional Blackmail, how low will these people go?). That was it I couldn’t take anymore of this crap, I ended the meeting by saying, we were just hurting each other and going round in circles, and that I though it best if things were left as they were, I politely said Good bye, and take care of yourself, and walked away, without looking back. I found Willowhawk and the person with her, and repeated to them what had been said, Willowhawk then informed me, she had a copy of the letter in question and that she would show it to me, which she did back at her house. The letter was the same as the one HP had shown me and was very damming, now I’ve got another person in question, that one I would deal with at a later date. Over the following few days I was confused, and certainly didn’t know who to trust, apart from Willowhawk. I spent more and more time with her, and I asked the Goddess for guidance, and my answer came a few days later. I was in Tesco’s with Keith, and bumped into my other HPS’ boyfriend, I asked him if he was seeing her that night, and he said no but would be seeing her tomorrow. I asked him to get her to phone me ASAP. We had only been in about 10 minutes, and the phone rang, I picked it up, and in her usual way and soft voice she said, “Talk to me”, she could have said, “Fuck off” but thankfully she didn’t. I told her the whole story from start to finish, and that I didn’t know who I could trust anymore. After a long chat, she said she would ring me in the morning, as she needed time to get her head round what I had told her. I thanked her for listening to me, and told her I would hear from her soon. She phoned me the very next day, and said she had spoken to a couple of other HPS’, which at first I was a bit put out by, but then she said that they were in my corner, and would give us all as much support as we needed. She also told me, that I should write to HPS and HP and ask for my measure back, (which was taken at my Initiation), I did so, and the reply I got from HP was horrid, he said in his letter, that they had burnt my measure in Ritual, and that I was no longer a child of the God and Goddess. The HPS’ that were supporting me, read this, and said it was a load of shit, and not to take any notice of it, which I didn’t. The only thing I didn’t like was, when I read up on “Burning your Measure”, it stated that this was done to destroy you! I was not going to give them the credit for that one; there Magic is only powerful if I allow it to be. Things slowly began to calm down, the bitching between us stopped. I wasn’t sure about the HPS’ that were guiding us, it seemed more like they were trying to split us up, and kept on saying we were damaged!!!!!! What ever that means. I did find out from a few other Craft people mainly other HPS, that she had done this many times before, usually when the person she was training to take over from her was getting more respect than she was! Certainly doesn’t want to give up her crown !!!!!! Time went on, slowly other people from the group started to drift, the rift between Willowhawk and number 2, never cleared, there was a final show down at my house, and I was more worried about Willowhawk. Finally number 2 disappeared, and now there are only a couple of us together. I know one thing though, other people have come through the other side of HPS ego trip, and I’m another one. Someday I’ll look back on all this and laugh. I know one thing though, the only ones who can judge you, is the God and Goddess, and they judge you by what’s inside, not the size of your ego. My Craft path remains, even if it has been a bit uneven, but I know the God and Goddess are watching over me, and only they know what’s in store. I have woken up now from what seemed like a terrible nightmare, and I’ve moved on, one thing is for sure, I am a stronger person, and the political Bitchcraft, is never going to be apart of my life again.                                                     BLESSED BE