You Know
You're Addicted to Redwall When…
By Spring
Brookring
Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe there's a
billion of these lists out there, but unlike the others, this one is in Yn Nor,
and so you must read it or risk the wrath of the Holy Hole-Punch.
If three or more of these
attributes listed apply to you, it's safe to say you are irreversibly addicted
to Redwall.
1. You own all 15 books.
2. You own all 15 books in hardcover and in paperback.
3. You talk about Redwall in your sleep.
4. You can recite entire passages from the books at whim.
5. You consider yourself as having two lives; the first in
the real world and the second on the ROC.
6. You prefer the second life.
7. You know how to spell Redwall.
8. You have built a shrine to Brian Jacques in you room.
9. You wrote the word "Redwall" into your
dictionary along with its complete and rather lengthy definition so you can
remember how to spell it.
10. You spend approximately 10 hours a day, often in the
middle of the night, talking to people on the ROC.
11. You write in Riftgard script at school to confuse your
teachers.
12. You refuse to go to school because your teachers won't
teach you Redwall and because it takes away from your time on the ROC.
13. You can't remember if it's 2004 or the Summer of the Late Rose.
14. You've been suspended 12 times for taking Martin's sword
to school.
15. You own matching Redwall bed sheets, covers, curtains,
pillow cases, slippers, pajamas, bathrobe, lamp shad throw rug, and crocheted
book covers.
16. You wrote the word "Redwall" on your forehead
for no reason in particular.
17. You camp out in front of Barnes and Noble the day before
the next Redwall-related book comes out, even though no one else in the area is
even interested in buying it.
18. You bought Tribes of Redwall: Badgers, then tore the
poster out, laminated it, and hung it on your wall.
19. You did the same thing with Otters, Mice, and Redwall
Map and Riddler.
20. You would have done the same thing with Redwall Friend
and Foe, but you ran out of room on the walls, so you hung the poster on the
ceiling.
21. You visited the Redwall Caverns in
22. You (righteously!) hate the Redwall TV show.
23. You send daily hate mail to Nelvana because you hate the
Redwall TV show.
24. You have memorized the entire contents of Snowfur's
Redwall Encyclopedia.
25. You have also memorized the contents of the Redwall
Compendium (which, by the way, is a nifty cool site. Go there.).
26. You built a hardee gurdee and taught yourself to play
it.
27. It sounds awful.
28. You wander aimlessly telling random people how to spell
Redwall.
29. You're reading this.
30. You want to be just like Matthias and so walk around
purposely tripping on huge sandals.
31. You've been trying for ages to make your own candied
chestnuts, but it still isn't working.
32. You've forgotten why you were reading this and have
wandered off to chase searats.