What's In
a Name: Going by the Book
By Spring Brookring
Hi, everyone! I see you're all back for another installment
of random ramble-ness on names. Today I intend to nit-pick and whine about
people who use names from the Redwall book series for their screen names or
role-play characters.
When I decided to write about Redwall book names, I figured
I should get some actual evidence that the world has no creativity and we are,
in fact, doomed to a dark age of unorginality. Or at least,
14% of the world. I snooped around some forums, scrolled through a bunch
of member lists, and came to the shocking conclusion that a whopping 14% of
about 850 usernames could be found in a Redwall book.
Anyone want to guess which names of that14% were most
popular? Yeah, that would have to be the about 40 Martins, Matthiass, and
Mattimeos running around. Oh, and just so you know, I
did count names like Martin101 and MattimeoMouse. On the female side of the
spectrum, there were multitudes of Roses, Cornflowers, and Creggas, not to
mention some very interesting spin-offs. Verylaterose and Cregga Laterose eyes,
for example. I also saw five out of the seven Marlfoxes, several Clunys, and
enough Badgerlords to make a family tree. I stumbled across a couple of
Finnbarrs, two or three Logalogs, a pair of Swartts, at least one Swaney Rath,
and some headache-inducing oddballs like Iamdyenathetaggerung.
Here are some of the most ridic--I mean,
noteworthy names I found:
Bore the Fighter- Hm. A typo? A bad speller? A very boring person?
Swiftpaw- That sounds vaguely like something I mentioned in
my last article. Just thought I'd bring it up to prove that I was right.
Cluny Sixclaw- probably the result of too much sugar.
Abbot Martin of Kotir- no explanation springs to mind.
Now, to start the harping in
earnest. Yes,
just taking a name from the book is easy. But it can automatically brand you as
unoriginal. Plus, it can lead to confusion, especially when you use a name from
a Redwall books for a role-play character. Example:
First Role-Player: Martin walked across the room and picked
up his battleaxe. The fox hefted it across his shoulders.
Second Role-Player: OOC: Wait! This is a post-Taggerung RP!
Martin's dead! And he has a sword, not a battleaxe! Plus he's a mouse! Are you some other Martin?
See my point? No? Well, I didn't really expect you to. But
then the first role-player has to explain why he or she was to
lazy to make up a name and took the most overused one right out of the book and
yadda yadda yadda. Even more confusing is when hordes of Martins are posting at
once. Another bad example:
Martin05: So, what's everybody's favorite Redwall book?
MartinA: Hey, my name's Martin! You stole my name!
Martin: No, your name's MartinA. MY name is Martin.
Martin the Warrior: Well, so is my name! Every one of you
copied my name!
Martin05: Nuh-uh! I was here first!
MartinA: I refuse to talk to people with the same name as
me.
Martin the Warrior: Nobody's making you stay!
Martin: I'm not the same Martin that posted before, and the
Martin that posted before stole my name, 'cause I was here first!
Martin: (I am the first Martin) Oh my gosh!
I have a clone! This is so confusing! *suffers mental breakdown*
The Sane One: You guys ALL stole your name from the Redwall
books! NOT each other! Sheesh! Whatever happened to creativity?
Hyperbole, that's called. Exaggeration for
effect. Wait, was there supposed to be an effect? Hmm.
Anyway, there are some definite pitfalls to taking a name from the books, the
least of which being falling into a pit. An endless,
repeating, pit of unoriginality and confusion. And
lots and lots of Martins.
If you absolutely must, for some obscure reason, take a name
from a book, pick a less well-know moniker. Everybody knows who
So, to make this article sound finished, think (or at least
pretend to) before you choose a screen name from the Redwall books. Now, for
those of you who actually had the tenacity to read this entire composition of
exaggerated ramble-ness, go check out the rest of the e-zine and leave me to my
sugar. Adios. Adieu. Scat.