What’s In a Name: Exercise in Randomnicity

By Spring Brookring

Hi, everyone!

Wow, that was a really exciting opener. Anyway, welcome to the November What’s in a Name article. November—in America, at least—is the month of Thanksgiving. I’m sure you have many things to be thankful for, like sugar, the Internet, and fuzzy blue penguins. You should also be incredibly thankful because you, a fortunate someone picked at random from the masses, get to read Yn Nor this month! That, believe me, is something to celebrate.

Now, you may be wondering, what exactly is this month’s topic? We’ve covered a whole lot of the aspects of names. Rocks, plants, foreign words—maybe you’re thinking there’s not a whole lot left. Which means you and I are thinking along the same lines. I was stumped when trying to come up with a topic. So, I present to you…a totally random way to come up with interesting and sometimes plausible names!

Buckle your seatbelts (assuming your vehicle of choice has them) and hold on to your hats (assuming you wear a hat), because here goes a completely undirected attempt at an activity. First, get a largish piece of paper and a pencil. Then write out the entire alphabet twice in fairly big letters, leaving space between them. Next, cut the letters up until each one is on its own chunk of paper. You can use scissors, your fingernails, or your teeth. It really doesn’t matter. Now, here’s your advanced math for today: there are twenty-six letters in the alphabet. Twenty-six times two is fifty-two. Everyone still following? Good. You should have fifty-two little pieces of paper with letters on them. Of course, if you lost some or some were inadvertently consumed, that’s okay.

Next, take your little collection of letters and turn them all upside down. Mix them up a bit and spread them out. Now go in search of a die (plural of this is dice). If you can’t find one, come up with another way of getting a random number. Throw a rubber ball and see how many times it bounces before it stops. See how many marshmallows you can fit in your mouth. Use two dice. Something.

Alright. Everyone with me? No? Well, then hurry up or I’ll poke you with a stick. So, using your preferred method of getting a random number, obtain said random number and then flip over that number of randomly selected letters. You should have anywhere from one to a lot, depending on how many marshmallows you can fit in your mouth. If you have only one letter, keep on picking until you get enough for a name.

Aaaaand…here comes the next step! Arranging! Yay! So, I’m going to outline a couple of ways or you can just come up with your own.

1. The close-your-eyes-and-pick method. It goes like this: close your eyes, and pick the order of the letters you selected. But, there are some guidelines. None of this: Gpdeail. Nope. If that’s what you get, you’re not done. Arrange it some more until you’ve got something pro-nounc-ab-le.

2. The Scrabble method. See if you can make actual words with the letters you’ve selected. There may be a chance that you can form them into Swiftpaw, or some such.

3. The method involving deep cogitation. Warning: this method had been shown to involve actual brain activity and is not recommended for readers suffering from short attention span, sleepiness, or sugar high. Anyway, this is where you actually look at your letters and decide what order they go in depending on whether you like it or not. Perhaps you wish to put an ‘e’ after that ‘t’. Or maybe you’re one of those people who believe that an ‘r’ needs an ‘h’ to be truly fulfilled. It’s up to you.

Once in a while, this completely random activity may yield a useable name. Try not to look too shocked, and by all means use it. Be warned, though, that what this activity is mostly for is a fun and insane exercise to get creative juices flowing. Hint: especially fun in groups. Eheh…what broken light bulb? *hides* So, just to make sure everyone gets it, let’s do a hypothetical one together.

I use my method of getting a random number and the number is eight. So, I pick my eight letters: j, p, a, c, l, l, e, a. Jpacllea doesn’t work. But how about Jallcepa? Not great, but at least you can say it. So, I think I’ll cut out an ‘l’ and the ‘c’. I’m allowed. You can cheat if you want to, because there are no actual rules. Now I have Jalaep. Again, not the best, but useable. Just keep cutting and snipping and doing whatever you feel like until you get bored or finish.

Well, folks, that’s about it. Have yourself a ball with this. If it actually works, let me know. Maybe I’ll give you a plastic medal. I’m done now; it’s time to go, see you next month with a whole new show! (Wow! Would you look at that nifty little rhyme!)