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ROCKY |
NAME: Rocky AGE: 8teen HAIR: Made from fresh noodles STAR SIGN: Pickatu JOB: Psycho FROM: His mothers belly |
FAST FACTS ABOUT ROCKY:--- # Rocky's surname is "Monkey-poo" # Rocky comes from a long line of great bird bath makers # Rocky likes to drink tea when it is hot # Rocky collects frog eyes and makes them into pretty ear-rings to be worn by Pat Butcher from Eastenders # Rocky once ate an entire packet of Cheese & Onion crisps # "Rocky" is the French word for "Gob-shite" # Just like a snail, Rocky carry's his house on his back at all times # Rocky can only count to "73". "I've applied for an advanced counting course at Coleg Glan Hafren next year" He says. |
WARNING!! This is the MILD version of Rockys profile, to see the XXX-rated Version, *CLICK HERE!!* But Be warned, you need a strong stomach and if you are easely offended, don't click. (Contains strong language and naughty things) |
WHAT ROCKY WRITES ABOUT HIMSELF:----- Last night as I drove home from work I saw a withered old woman on the pavment with what appeared to be her grandson by her side. It was a quarter past midnight and there weren't many people about, so I pulled over next to them. As soon as I had their attention, I opened the door, and flashing my winky at them, called out, "You wrinkled bag of bones! How much is that five-year-old paying you to be his grandmother?" I peeled out, leaving the woman in a state of shock and the boy crying his eyes out in fear. That woman was my mother and the kid was my six-year-old daughter..... |
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Rockey likes to play prisons with his close friend (Richard) |
Hello, my name is Rocky. I'm a hearty, Eight-Teen-year-old father of three children. I'm basically a regular guy. I go to work everyday just like everyone else and then I come home to my family. But sometimes I do some really questionable things, and what’s funny is that it's always on purpose. For example, two days ago I was sitting at the dinner table enjoying a nice supper with the wife and kids. Daphnie, my teenage daughter, asked me to pass her the Southwestern Chile Sauce. You might say it was Mexican night at the Rocky house. You might not. I started to pass the bowl to her just like anyone else would do, but about half-way through the motion, I jerked my hand and threw the bowl right into her face. Not only was she covered in steaming Southwestern Chile Sauce, but the porcelain serving bowl broke three of her teeth out as it slammed into her mouth. Everyone was quite distraught and I must have apologized at least two times, but the truth is, I meant to do it. I don't know why, I just did. |
It was almost as bad as last week's incident. On my way to work, I decided to pull over and raise the bonnet of my car. Eventually a nice portly man stopped to see if I needed help. I don't know why, but I told him my fuel filter was acting up. While he was under my bonnet checking the engine, I quietly climbed back into my car. Without telling the stranger what I was doing, I started up the engine. His arm and chest were horribly mangled when the engine’s fan cranked up. I gassed it and the bonnet crashed down on top of him, trapping him against the hot metal for several miles until he finally tumbled out. Even now I'm not quite sure why I did that. |
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Of course, there was the time I stayed in the tanning bed for seventy-seven minutes, causing third degree burns all over my body and leaving me in the hospital for nine days. I knew I was supposed to get out after just twenty-three minutes, but for some reason, I stayed in until I had passed out from the heat and my bum buddie (little Richard), had to get a spatula to scrape me off the glass. Speaking of Richard, one time we were taking a romantic stroll through the park when I overheard some fat kid say that he couldn't swim. Immediately, I jumped through some bushes and knocked the kid into the lake, and while he was gasping and struggling for breath, I took some other kid’s Super Soaker XTJ-95 and sprayed him right in his mouth. After the kid had been pulled out and revived with only slight brain damage, I told everyone that I had tripped, but you and I both know that's not true. |
I often lock myself and the rest of my family out of the house, especially when it's storming. Eventually, the wife and kids started hiding extra house keys around the porch. They all think that I have a memory problem. Nope, that's just the way I am. Actually, right before I sat down to write this article, I found a couple of well-known blood-thirsty criminals and I gave them a letter that outlines every hiding spot for the house keys on our porch. Any minute now, they should be dropping in and surprising the ol’ wife and kids. I guess I’ll give them an hour or so to have their fun and then I’ll call the cops to save the day. But I hope I don’t do anything questionable on purpose along the way… |
This was found written outside TGI fridays, a young boy matching the discription of Richard was witnessed running from the scene all teary eyed. |
If you want to see the XXX-Rated Profile of ROCKY, you need to be over 16 years of age and have a strong stomach and not offended by much... if you are, this is not for you... if your interesed.. CLICK HERE AND ENJOY!!!!! |
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