Of course, I've been collecting them a bit eccentrically for years, so who's to say whether they're still good or not? If you want to see a certain quote here, send it in to yokohamawil at hotmail dot com.
“I will simply deny you the crown and live forever!” —The King in Ever After
The researchers chose the green gene because its presence is so easy to detect, not because they wanted glow-in-the-dark monkeys. —Newsweek
(Most common response to this quote: “Suuure they didn’t.”)
“It’s time for the big, scary lesbians to go inside and have sex if anybody wants to know!” —If These Walls Could Talk (2)
Discussing Talent from Towns under Two Thousand:
“No, Northfield is the town of cows, colleges and contentment. When you have something that good, more than two thousand people want in on it.” —Garrison Keillor
“How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?” —The Usual Suspects
Readers of epic fantasy series are: (1) patient—they are left in suspense between each volume, (2) persistent—they reread or at least review the previous book(s) when a new installment comes out, (3) strong—these 700-page doorstoppers are heavy, and (4) mentally agile—they follow a host of characters through a myriad of subplots. —amazon.com
He has been writing since 1977 and intends to continue until they nail shut his coffin. —Robert Jordan, "About the Author"
History is a funny thing. (Actually, it isn’t. Otherwise you’d be reading a history book instead of this one.) —Everything I Know About Pirates : A Collection of Made-Up Facts, Educated Guesses, and Silly Pictures About Bad Guys of the High Seas
”What kind of things have you seen your fellow countrymen do abroad that made you either proud to be an American or pretend to be a Canadian?” —NPR, The Savvy Traveler
“You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.” —President W. Bush, via Newsweek
“I’m Uncle Sam. Sam I am. Do you like my war in Vietnam?” —The Complete History of America (Abridged)
“The moral of this story, however, is, firstly, that no one, however great he may be, should permit himself to jest at any one beneath him, even if he be only a hedgehog. And, secondly, it teaches, that when a man marries, he should take a wife of his own position, who looks just as he himself looks. So whosoever is a hedgehog let him see to it that his wife is a hedgehog also, and so forth.” —Grimm’s Complete Fairy Tales, “The Hare and the Hedgehog”
Prepositions in this modern day
at the end of a sentence are sometimes okay.
So it isn’t an error, it isn’t a sin,
to say, “That is the room I was playing in.”
But those who are graced
with impeccable taste
will insist upon saying,
“That is the room in which I was playing.” —Ruth Heller, Behind the Mask: A Book about Prepositions
“This chapter should be read with indulgence.” —a footnote on chapter one of The Tale of Genji
The Bible answers all your Bible questions. —Babtist Church. (credit: Alia)
Unanswered questions are safer than unquestioned answers —Unitarian Church
Any list of required reading a culture prescribes for its educated elite has to be tailored to fit the span of a human life. —David Richter, Falling into Theory
Talk nonsense, but talk your own nonsense, and I’ll kiss you for it. —Crime and Punishment
He’s vapid, not Vader. —Newsweek on the Anakin of Episode 2
And in case you’re wondering, none of the Wiccans converted to Christianity as a result of the confrontation. —Christianity Today
"I was raised to be charming, not sincere." —Prince Charming in Into the Woods
Love hotels are usually lit in purple and pink with signs in that sexy romanitic language we call English. —The Hitchhiker's Guide to Japan
The paper in this book meets the guidelines for permanence and durability of the Committee on Production Guidelines for Book Longevity of the Council on Library Resources. —the copyright page of Japanese: the Spoken Language (Is anyone else reminded of the doors in Hitchhiker’s Guide, or is this quote just funny because of the endless bureaucracy it implies?)
The strains of “The East is Red” can still be heard on the streets, but only in the ring-tones of the Nokia mobile phones of youngsters.... —Newsweek special edition, “The Five Faces of China”
It may be possible to do without dancing entirely. Instances have been known of young people passing many, many months successively without being at any ball of any description, and no material injury accrue either to body or mind; but when a beginning is made—when the felicities of rapid motion have once been, though slightly, felt—it must be a very heavy set that does not ask for more. —Jane Austin, Emma
The brothers wanted their freeway to have a sense of doom about it; not surprisingly, most urban planners try to avoid that. —Newsweek on the making of Matrix
So, you want to know more about the animals or want more fun. We have planned a number of events just for you. *Japanese only. —Zoo brochure, English language version
“No horse has ever won the Triple Crown without first winning the Belmont.” —Newscaster, giving new meaning to the word “obvious”