WEBFOOTSTER'S OFFICIAL AND ODD FLUFFY FIGTIONARY (WOOFF)

[Brought to you by © Malaprops R Us and JulieB AKA The Brat. See her loving dedication!]

{NB--the new National Edition is below}

<><><><> - Happy Fluffsters showing their appreciation and clapping.

A bit of a while -- shortly

%$"!*%+&$#%@& -- one of those expletives that spews forth when you are trying to find a list which you have transferred to one of your files but your are unable to find that safe place where you saved it!

Accusing Sheltie Eyes --- are the looks that you get after deviously getting your sheltie into your lap for nail cutting. The thoughts behind those eyes can mean anything from: Those plants you spent a small fortune on...defoliated! That new underwear you just bought ... shredded! That garbage bag you don't know I can get to ... scattered.. You're date's leg... humped! The owner usually knows that they are doomed...doomed!!

Amoeba -- similar to the Fig in that neither one can eber stop dividing!!

Annie -- a state of distraction such that one thinks one has sent posts but has lost one's post-it notes and phone. As a result, one disappears for a few days.

Appendicitis -- (noun) i.e., appendix - further additions of ....

Applite -- To swab (or perhaps, 'having swabbed') QuikStop on butchered Sheltie toes -- only done when one is big & strong and NOT a wussy. If this procedure after 'applitation' does not work, then use a FILING MACHINE (aka afrightening Dremmel-thingie) to scare the little buggers out from under Auntie Joan's bed. The Dremmel-thingie is also wielded by non-wussie types.

Archangel Aunt Saint Juliana of the Holy Sheltie -- SMMR's gentle half.

AHHHHHWWWWWOOOOO -- (noun) 1. sound emitted by shelties when forced to do something they do not wish to do. See Brat. 2. Last sound heard from owners as they are taken away by animal control for abusing their shelties in making them walk on leases or maintain their house-training.

Babe -- all those persons going under the name of Cindy/Cyndi as well as those given honorary babe status, i.e., Nancy.

Backyard is Money -- is that rare time in life when you get on your hands and knees and scoop it up into your pockets - race to the mall and spend it - probably on more dogfood!!

Baegel -- (noun) Old English spelling of 'bagel', as in "Baegelwulf". Can also be something to put on your hair.

Bahootie -- cross between a sheep and an owl. After consuming one of these you don't belch or hiccup, you Bahootie!!

Bald-headed glare reduction -- the act of taking pictures while stylishly wearing a napkin on your head.

Ball bearings -- are the proper bearings to have after having had neuticles implanted on neutered dogs..

Barf -- to throw up, to upchuck, to make really messy spew!

Baroque (adj.) -- when you are out of Monet.

Bathtub - (noun) device into which given certain conditions are met a sheltie will jump into. Those conditions are that the tub must be surrounded by lots and lots of bubbles and one VERY pregnant lady.

Berry -- (adj) Derivation of very. As in: My computer has been berry, berry sick. I have been berry, berry sad. :-( I am berry, berry berry happy to be back with you all! I am berry, berry behind in my mail. The computer man is berry, berry, berry, beeeerrrrrrryyyyy sloooooowwwwwww.

Berry sacred -- the ultimate in fear - I am berry sacred about looking at my Web Page!

Bllggghhh -- a version of a raspberry sent to the list when a fluffy didn't remember another fluffy by the name of Gale.

Black wreath -- if you join the 'Kilt by the Guru Chat Group,' as an added bonus, CyndiO will send you instructions for making your own weath to hang on your door! Just send $19.95 to:

Kilt by the Guru

100 Miss Dead Thing Way

Bitchin' Township, VA 000013

Blowfish routine -- That is the act of holding onto your face so that you can stifle a giggle, laugh, etc. at work and turning all shades of red and purple in the process. It is also knowing that if anyone eber catches you doing this there is no conceivable way to explain exactly WHAT you are doing - so don't get caught!! These posts are usually accompanied with the words STOP IT!!!!! coming forth from the person doing this to the person who initiated the post causing the routine to occur!

Buckner Rescue Station -- a husband and wife rescue organization also going under the names of Cin-sational Shelties, Buckner's Barracks and The Buckner Miracles. Inhabitants of the station include Comet, Dasher, Colleen and Valet! Buckner motto - But what's just one more?

Brat -- (noun) synonym snot. 1. sheltie no longer listens to commands and fights owner about walking on leashes and house-training, eg. Della 2. Feline with a tendency to take a swipe at newly welcomed male fluffy members, eg. Cat. 3. Fluffy aka JulieB; delusional: thinks she's SMMR's gentle half.

Bulleting -- notices concerning our on-going story of barking dogs were countered with either anit-gun or antit-gun laws.

Bunce -- is kinda like a dumb ditz

Candian -- (noun) a Canadian elk dressed in candy stripes.

Carafe -- is a shot glass for Figgy.

Casa Infinity -- Hospitality rates at least a 3* or 4** except that you would have to supply your own light bulbs.

Cebelation -- (noun) a happy occasion. It is a berry, berry happy cebelation!

Chanticleer -- (noun) our fluffy rooster (formerly known as the roster).

Cheesehead -- a foam swiss cheese wedge that a true Wisconsinite wears on their heads to all sporting events or for those of us that are a bit shyer....in front of their computers when looking at maps.

Children's Wading Pool -- (noun) device into which well-meaning sheltie owners try to entice hot shelties to cool off while standing in ankle deep water and receiving looks from their shelties ranging from: you've got to be kidding, to Mom, what are you DOING??!!, to why are you acting like an idiot and embarrassing me, Mom?

Chopper -- mode of transportation for Chopper Joan type persons or those who watch Courage under Fire and take their movies a little too seriously... Electronic Sky Patrol Rescue Chopper w/25 Random Phrases and 3 Chopper Sounds.

Claws -- dangerous weapons of felines. See neuticles.

Click, Click, Click -- the sound emanating from Ms. Karen now that Sharon Parker has clicker trained her, as opposed to her beautiful singing voice like her Aunt Sharon (the Fig), ahem.. cough.. choke!!!

Clones-out-sale -- a sale to clear out the extra Figgys that have been cloned...Need a new personality - check with Figgy; she has plenty to spare!

Confuzzed -- similar to confused, only a lot more fuzzy.

Conehead/Featherhead -- favorite headgear employed by GrANNie, the party animal. A condition found only in aging Tennesseans.

Cosa Spewstra -- (noun) rough translation 'house of those who spew'., also Kiss of Spew. See Mafluffia.

Crystall cookie -- mystical ball into which figgazing eyes try to discover the secrets of the universe and push assignments for jury duty away for another day so that they can attend their shows.

Cybergists -- (noun) we all know they're out there, but quite difficult to prove except to very knowledgeable Fluffies who have seen their work and can readily attest to their existence! Please BEWARE they can play havoc with your mail by stopping it or doubling the amount of posts that you receive...

Cyberwrited -- the official document guaranteeing a fluffy complete and total ownership of a name for their exclusive use. i.e., Figgy, Figmonster, etc.

Defeinding yourself - what the Fig is usually not up to when given ANOTHER alias and 'The Niece' is not around to help.

De-lump - special miracle performed by the Fluffy vibes whereby a fluffy undergoes surgery for a lump which decides to pull a disappearing act!

Denuttered - Cowboys riding 2,000 lbs of pissed off beef without pants.

Dognity - that's dignity correctly spelled.

Dolly Dimple Honk - When JulieB laughs there is this silent shaking followed by a honk that is unmistakeable. Sounds very much as though her breathing has ceased...is hilarious! And since Fig calls her Dolly Dimple, well it naturally follows that it is the Dolly Dimple Honk.

Drictionary - Joyce's best selling listing of all maps, triptiks, etc. with the Diplomat's signature card - a pawprint located in the most vital area of the map!

Disconfect - (verb) this is the act of picking up a piece of candy after it has been dropped on the floor and blowing it off before you eat it.

Dogreet - (verb) the vigorous and uncontrolled sniffing of your guests' crotch instead of saying hello.

DMSO - dimethyl sulfoxide (see Gael).

Driction - the way you are facing, regardless of whether the map is upside-down or not. The top is always North.

Dunking - 1. As in dunking in Coffee, Milk, Orange Fanta. 2. Also similar to motion in dance of the macaroni. 3. To gain protection as in dunking behind someone.

Eberybuddy - encompasses all our fluffy citizens of Toonie Town.

E-collar - (noun) springboards of Olympic Bunnies wishing to make quick getaways from pursuing shelties.

Eddification - to be made smart, i.e., what you get when you ask lots of questions..

Elexceleration - (verb) repeatedly pushing an elevator button thinking it will make the elevator arrive faster.

Emphrasis (noun) - a spelling error.

Energizer Fluffy - a fluffy whose posts keep bouncing and bouncing and bouncing and...

Faux pas - fluffy pronouciation is Fox Paws. If you don't make one on here, you'll be the first. It makes you think of baby fox
paws and before you know it, you have forgotten you made a big ass out of yourself.

Feither - choosing between two berry fluffy choices.

Feeling quilty - being sewn in a quilt.

Fig Establishments - various names by which they are known have been Fig's Fluffer-all, Fig's Frills and Furs and the most well-known Fig's Strip and Dip!

Figclopedia - an all inclusive copy of the berry latest Figtionary as well as all updates to the edition.

Flufficide Conspiracy - is the plot to overthrow Virginia as the leading contender for the Race to Fluffydom. In contension are
the Tennessee Terrors, the Thundering Texans and the California Collatorators.

Fluffies - term to be whispered behind persons who shall remain nameless causing them to jump from fluffy horror and causing nightmares for days.

Fluffy Genious - equivalent to non-fluffy genius, however it follows under the terms and conditions of FigsFonics, Inc. and therefore is also an acknowledged, and acceptable variation of the term.

Fluffy Handler - One Fluffy handling another Fluffy's dog.

Fluffy Induced Flufficide - burying Gael up to her fluffy eyebrows in the desert.

Fluff-Meisters - Fluffies who know computereze and try to help other fluffies in their quest for more and better software before they throw something at their screens rendering them fluffless!

Fluffy Motto - Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

Fluffy-to-Fluffy death - if my dog takes a major reserve to your dog - you die!! ESPECIALLY when that dog needs only ONE, EIN, UNO major to finish his conformation career!

Fluffy Vibe Stock - insurance acquired ensuring a safe, healthy and overall good outcome to a fluffy problem.

Fluffy Warming - involves roasting one slowly over an open fire - especially one that makes fun of Spew Goddesses!

Fog - Gig's second cousin twice removed on her mother's side.

Fokken Wonderful - absolute Fluffy nerve!

Full Fluffy Splender - fluffies showing up at a puppy auction with all methods of weapons artillery, i.e., meat tenderizer, spaceship, bat, wet noodle, Grandma Stare, etc.

Funnyist - someone proficient with the Funnies.

Fuufy - that's fluffy in AOL Chat talk when the Tennessee Terror thinks FWE isn't watching and she mispells a mispelling. Sometimes also known as fluufy.

Ferret Fluffy Flu - is the fault of ferrets who have been cybersurfing and infecting fluffies making their fingers type things we normally would never type.

Ferrets - (noun) useful animals to be used to teach shelties how to herd (most times unsuccessfully). They are natural professional thieves of small items, like car keys, lighters, shoes, socks, any thing that they can drag off no matter of the size if they can move it they will.

Figdeaf - (noun) what happens when you replace that ball thingie in the middle of the keyboard with the spell check button. Warning: this action is NOT to be carried out without careful consideration. Improper handling of this action may render you fluffless! (horrors!)

FigFonics - aka Speednetting; utilizes the quickest way to type over the NET. One does not question the FIG. One just assumes what she types to be korrect.

Figgyism - the theory that anything can be made to sound logical -- even those things which make absolutely NO sense to the recipient. If the FIG has said it, it must be so! Also known as Brawnyism.

Fig-tune-itis - (noun) is the sudden compulsion to sing songs at the mere mention of a catchy tune. Also goes by the name of Figgy Fever - berry contagious!

"Find the Misspelled Words" - program used as an aid for children to improve spelling, utilizing the theory of what "not to do".

Flanned pajamas - which can be cooked or dressed with different kinds of fruit.

Flufferment Test - (noun) test which all sheltie inhabitants of Toonie Town are expected to take and of course sail thru with flying colors!! Flufferment tests include a variety of exercises. Those exercises are Fluffbedience and Flufformation to name a few. All shelties are expected to gain their flufformation Titles.

Fluffsheimers - Fluffsters version of selective senility, i.e., as in Selective Senility is such a blessing! Also known as Halvesheimers.

Fluffskateers 3 (4) - Why that's Michelle, and Sue (her middle name is Michelle silly), Michelle RugRat and...and why 'Chelle - of course!!

Fluffsterlanding - coming in for a landing amongst the Fluffsters.

Fluff-Waiting - (noun) 1. a masochistic fluffster scanning the screen for his or her next post. 2. Fluffster multi-tasking between 2 posts.

Fluffy Bells - (noun) - theme song of delirious fluffies planning a day of wonderful Christmas shopping!

Fluffy Virus - (noun) extremely contagious disease that all Fluffies catch, and it is only a matter of time before becoming fatal.

Flyball - activity that involves 2 kids (6 and 9 yrs old), a 9 week old puppy and a ball in the livingroom.

Flyuing - the ability to fly after having frolicked behind the barn with a naked Gael and DSMO.

FRAP - (noun) Frenetic Rapid Activity Period - activity of shelties which includes much running, chasing and jumping on furniture, owners, etc. which may start at a moments notice and stop in the same manner accompanied by much panting when complete (by the shelties, not the owners).

Free soles - 1. donation of shoes to fluff charities in preparation for the coming of winter. To provide protection against fluffsters with frozen tootsies. 2. A gathering of free soles who do not like to be told what is or is not good for them for we are not children... and have not been in that form for a few years.

Fruitcake - (noun) a seasonal doorstop, hockey puck, etc.

Fugly (adj.) - This is a word used in the real world and if you don't know what it means, you don't need to.

Gael - From the Fluffish meaning "One that scares horses by flapping her bare fun bags at them.

Garbbed - what Figgy does to a towel when trying to keep her budgies quiet while leaving a message on an answering machine. This includes waving at them to be quiet or encircling the cage with the towel to make them be quiet. If unsuccessful,
the situation may just be handled by 'not garbbing' a towel and depending on the mood of the recipient, may be thought of as going with a tropical effect or sounding like a damned pet shop!.

Get Delicately Sick - what the Webbie does in her car since she's too sophisticated to barf on the steering wheel!

Getaway vehicle - van taped up with brown packing paper disguised as a Fed Ex package, but to supply the means of escape with Hayden out of the clutches of Mozart and safely into the hands of Figgy and Gsue. Password: rampfall :-)

G'hinea Pig - is a sheltie with no teeth that likes to g'hine ya and try to bite you on the butt, or a guinea pig with a southern whistle..

Glas - a notch better than glad, it's the feeling Figgy gets when her finger slips on the little green ball thingie in the middle of the keyboard.

Gold Tournament - 'Good Ole Leadass Dudes' falling asleep in the recliner.

Great Water Gun Fight in Tennessee - event which took place at the Hillbilly Birthday party of our famous 'Guru'. And a good time was had by all that day. The recording of the event will go down in the annuls of Great Birthday Parties of the Century!!

Grammmatist - is all knowing and all seeing and goes by the name of the Spell Checker. She uses this disguise to fool silly fluffsters into fatally letting their guard down when constructing sentences, but is ready to strike at a moments notice. P.S. Kathy, I'd be berry worried if I were you.....

Gruntled - as opposed to disgruntled - or feeling mightily fluffy

Gud - (adj) - opposite of bad as in my Mom is berry, berry gud.

Guru - See Gael.

Guru's Rain Dance - learned at Summer Camp
~ Rain ~~
Unga tabunga
Hig digga digga digga
Effel ah teffel teffel
Ooohhh ...aahhhhh

Halfheimers - to forget half of everything they hear.

Halo - what Nancy receives each time she is bred.

Harvey cat - is the cat which Jusi is able to enclose in between the window and the screen. However, the cat is invisible to
everyone else except for Jusi. Only way to stop the cry of said cat is to call it!

Hidey Ho - is an appearance put in by a Fluffy who has been berry, berry quiet on the list just to let eberybody know that they
are okay.

Hop-Scoop thingie - Sammie's exit out of cars which has progressed into a little locomotive sheltie with sheltie butt (tail wagging) coming at you with the speed of light. NOT to be performed when also removing packages from same said car.

Hurmphing Indignatly - Humphing but with alot more emphasis!

Hankie - (noun) archaic term for linen kellnex, viewed in quite the same manner as stoopid b-days panting down your neck!

Happended - 1. Something that happened twice or more times,. a retro thing. 2. Turned over e.g. The dogs happended the trash can.

Heard desired - occurs with some frequency since these are shelties. And since shelties heard sheep, it is anywhere their little heard desires..

Heaven's approach - shelties pulling you up into heaven via a window on a rope of sheltie hair.

Hotbed of Terrorism in 1997 - name which will replace Tennessee in the near future when Ann the Tennessee Terror and Gael the Terrorist take up residence in the state..

Hugs - (noun) - shown as (((( fluffster ))))). These are the long-distance arms of the fluffsters giving support to another fluffster in time of need. See vibes.

Hmphing - the act of finding yourself on the business end of a bottle of Vicks Vapo-Rub.

I.M.Chimera - meaning I am and Chimera (synonym) meaning fluff and frivolity.

Ignoance - variation of ignorance -- Ignoance CAN be bliss, sometimes.

Ignor - variation of ignore - used to save time and space when typing.

Incognito - the act of trying to get your name (alas unsuccessfully) off the marquee as in -- It is very hard to be incognito when you're a subject line."

Inncocent -- (adv) 1. innocenter than innocent -- e.g., to grin inncocently. 2. (noun) an imaginary state afflicting cyber punks stuck in Kansas -- e.g., "The Guru lives in a perpetual state of inncocence". 3. (adj) appalling, e.g., "wasn't that just inncocent what the Nun did to the Guru?"

Innococent - synynym of Inncocent.

Irregular programming - kinda like a fluffster thing to say - now back to our irregular programming.

Itish - is a little bit of thisish and a little bit of thatish.

Jessie's Agility Course - involves the sofa, the recliner (up and over the backs of both), the bed, under the dining room table, in and out of the chairs, back to the computer table where we apparently jump up on the chair or somethin', gently pull whatever down wif our teethies and back to the bed for a FINISH!

Insinlumen - to insinuate a fellow Fluffster procures young flesh for money and that said person advertises via a red light.

Insinute (verb) - as to impersonate a furbaby. To take on the characteristics or name of a species other than your own, I.E. "I knew a woman that insinuated a feline by calling herself Cat and trying to pass off a picture of a cat as herself.

Joanie - (noun) something like a raspberry, but much globbier and longer :-)>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ expelled at whim to the initiator of a nasty comment!

Jolt - (noun) soft drink advertised as "all the taste with twice the caffeine" A drink for the day of the very sleepy fluffster - will keep them fluffing for days. Drink this only under proper supervision.

Kapootee - is a cross between a Kaput and a Cootee.

Keenix - baby kellnix

Kilt by the Guru Chat Group - charter members include Prez CyndiO, Ann and Judi. Also goes under the name of the Guru
Bashing List. Initiation into this prestigious group is quite easy - all you have to do is to call Gael (the Guru) a bitch! It will be
surprising how fast you will be escorted to your place on the team!

Kellnex (noun) - A tissue-like creation (remarkably similar to Kleenex) that can be used to clean "spews" from monitors, spills from snorfle emissions from anything.

Kewl - (adj.) - ^5 - is "Like wow Man...groovy"

Korrect - according to FigFonics all methodologies of spelling are taken into account and are considered to be absolutely fine as written.

Lampshade/Feather boa - paraphernalia to be worn when dancing at Nationals with tatooed types by the name of Bruno and then quickly forgetting/denying all involvement in said act.

Littler - (adj) not at all, i.e, if I think any littler, I won't be thinking at all!

Macaroni: (noun) - A dance (similar in action to the Macarena) for Fluffsters.

Make Mock - to make fun of, poke fun of this pore ol' soul who is wallowing in misery and suffering beyond belief. This is a self-description, folks. Wonder what she says on a bad day! Geeze!

Mubling - to shake one's head back and forth in disbelief once it is realized that one will not now or EVER to able to be 'one up' on a particular person (such as the TT!), as it is IMPOSSIBLE to shut them up!!!!

Messate - (noun) postings done under Figs SpeedNetting as the quickest way to type over the Net without worrying about spelling, punctuation, etc. - similar to shorthand and speed writing.

Meat Tenderizer - (noun) dangerous weapon of the FIG. Do not take warnings of it's use lightly -- or that will not be the way it is used, if you get her drift (shudder the thought!).

Minnesnoda and Minnesquito - additional names by which the state of Minnesota is known!

Monutmental - is that moment in time when when nothing else can compare!

Mufluffia - (noun) organization guided under the leadership of such infamous persons as Figgy the Godmother and Phillip the Godfather. Be berry careful when dealing with such individuals or you may find the head of Mr. Ed in your bed!

Mumple - (verb) To emit a distorted sound from beneath the pillow when Brawny is singing beloved childhood songs at dawn and expects one to merrily finish the verse; used mostly by teen-aged girls to make her stop.

Nashville - Headquarters of SFA (Stinky Feet Anonymous), who also goes under the titles of the TT and grANNie - to find her simply follow your nose..

Nost - opposite of Yest.

Nutherword - is another word for Thesaurus.

Nect problems - occurs to fluffies when they have been sitting in front of their computers trying to look at the screen for too long. Sooner or later they need to rest their weary bones since their con-nect-ions are all worn out.

Nerbous - (adj) state of feeling unfluffy, inability to function as "dogcreed" in Toonie Town. Appropriate time to collect fluffy (hugs) allowing you to feel better soon!

Nanny, nanny, boo-boo - var. Nah-Ne Nah-Ne Boo Boo 1. nyahhh - nanny nanny boo-boo with an edge 2. na-na-na-na-naaaah-na, 3. :-p''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Neuticles - device which provides a cosmetic aid to those neutered! See Claws. Provided free of charge to all male fluffsters upon first meeting with Cat.

Noodles to you - A Fluffy "I love you," as opposed to have been noodled - don't ask, you don't want to know -- or hit with a wet noodle!

No Spellchecking - present given to the Fluffsters from Thanksgiving until after Christmas which allows them to totally screw up the English Language as we know it.

Not xmas tree - (noun) is berry berry rare. It is large and green (like a fir or evergreen), but it has one tall green trunk and only two branches and is overed all over with prickly little sharp spikes just waiting for smart alec fluffies.

Obviouslt - i.e. obviously - typed with a mouth full of quakers.

Obviviously - the unanimous answer that was received by our roving photographer when asking patrons leaving a bar, "Are you drunk?"

Och - is Irish for P>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ generally denoting disbelief and a sense of 'humph"!

One - has the same amount of letters as won and is admissable to use replacing one another according to FigsFonics and the Fig (grading papers)...

Ookie - it's reserved for open wound fluffies.

Official Theme - Sometimes ya gotta go ... Where everybody knows your name.

Off lease - the state in which a sheltie is completely happy as opposed to on-lease which produces pouting little sheltie girls because they cannot run free,i.e, Della, Nickie

OmFLUFFscient - One who is all-seeing and all-knowing in matters pertaining to the Land of Fluff, esp. spelling and syntax.

Ostrichized - to have one's head buried in fluffy sand so that others can't fluff them.

Oxymoron - (noun) quiet fluffsters, bi-oxymoron is a sweet innococent fluffster

Palte - as in step up to the palte. when approaching a palte one needs to be sure it's had its shots and that it is heavily sedated. Do not approach when the palte has not eaten.

Papa Stour - one of the Shetland Islands. You should know that. It's wet and windy there. A nice place to be if you want to be depressed.

Patooie - kind of like a :p~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ but more globby.

Paw-smudged map - (noun) evidence left at the scene of the crime replacing missing persons after the Diplomat has done her work!

Pack & load -- sounds like a shooting match or what Joanie does to her incision. What it involves is ripping off six wads of tape, then the bandage; then you dip down into the incision and yank out the saline-soaked other wad. Next, you spread the incision, irrigate with hydrogen peroxide, then saline. After you peel CJ's claws from your neck, you stuff more saline-soaked gauze into the incision, patch it with bandages and tape -- while fending off CJ's slaps and curses. You must do this three times a day while CJ is conscious and glaring at you.

Panice - a tiny little cell where we put fluffies that have been gone from the fold for months and months and then come back thinking they are now smart!

Party '97 - or Gael's Great Hillbilly Birthday Party in Tennessee. The Bahama Mama Committee was formed to provide the official drink of Gala '97.

Piddow - the Fig's most favorite pillow that she shares with no one. Actually, this is her 'second' favorite piddow. Her friend's baby peed on her first one. :-( Pee and down don't go well together.

Porspects - is like a combination purpoise/dragon thingie, i.e., who is checking testicles on show porspect male dragons?

Post forewarned - is when you mention that you expect a spew - it usually doesn't happen!

Peanut Butter - (noun) fluffy food of the week/year/century... Enjoyed by all nations including the Fins who keep a dusty can on their shelves waiting for the next American exchange student!

Penile colony - where men are men and the sheep are nervous.

Perforation - an ill check.

Phoenix - city to be cautiously avoided when trying to send packages from point A to point B. This is especially noteworthy to remember during Super Fluffy Christmas Exchange time... Please contact Kathy and Keith for filing of appropriate forms for missing packages and expect to receive all answers after the fifth of never.

Platora - as in platora of drugs.

Poast - (verb) comb. form of "post" and "roast" indicating a sarcastic, rude, or irreverent e-mail message designed specifically to irritate the recipient - from the recently-invented 'Chelle variation on the Fluff language.

Preening - occurs when CJ turns into a berry, berry classy cockatoo and starts to peck the TT for answers.

Presnet - (noun) cybertalk for present - we have netscape, netcom, net this and net that, so now we have presnet.

Pupkiss - (noun) the residue left on a window/mirror after a dog sticks his nose to it.

Quad-Fluff - a post that was created by four fluffies. Quad-fluff is usually green, purple, black and brown and looks an awfulfamous lot like a bruise. There are also bi-fluff - posts created by two fluffies and tri-fluff - created by three fluffies..

Quit It Out - Comb. form of quit and cut it out. Normally used to control errant furkids, but may also be used for errant Fluffies.

Rabid animal - (noun) walks on two legs and has been snapping at Figs for a couple of days.

Rainbow Pond - where poor little fishies go when they have succumbed to the great fish bowl in the sky to await their masters,
i.e., Fred, the Beta Fish

Recuret - (noun) a fluffy newbie that keeps recurring, eats chocolate and may or may not be old.

Ringey Dingey - initiation of a threat soon to be coming from the FIG after receiving unwanted news from another fluffy..

Roate - (noun) similar to a roast, but a 'Chelle specialty to be recommended..

Rubber tire - (noun) resting place for sleeping puppies while frantic, crying owner wakes up sleeping husband to aid in search and immediately prepared to scale high fences to check out neighbor's yard and pool for supposedly drowned puppy.

Divine Ruler/Holy Ruler - method of control used by the ominous Sister Mary Margaret.

Schedule Fluffy - a new tax form (short form, of course!!) which is a tax on Ann's brain. Fluffies are exempt, naturally!

Senior Citizen Spew Discount (SCSD) -a handicap we give Ann because she's so old and feeble minded.

Sharon Baun - clone of Sharon Braun who is World Spelling Bee Champion 5 years running and also Typing Champion of the World at 130 words/minute. Alas... something was definitely messed up in the reproduction..

Selective Senility - one of the conditions from which Joyce suffers regularly.

Selfish Fluffy - (noun) member of Fluffytown writes others telling of wonderful days with blue skies and great times with their shelties while others have to work and not thinking of inviting everyone to join them!

Sheltie Conspiracy - theory that all shelties conspire against their owners waiting for the proper time and the proper place to strike. It is usually an extremely well-calculated attack.

Sheltieholic - person who lives, breathes, talks about and is obviously obsessed with shelties. Um... but, but, what other person is there?? Scratching my head...

Sheltie Shark - sometimes also going under the name of Sammie who watches from between glass pedestals for those moments when no one is looking and snatches food that is resting on the outside edges of plates much to the chagrin of her owner who quickly replaces all dinnerware before her guests learn of the sneak attack.

Sheltie Stork - delivers pink and blue packages to unsuspecting new puppy owners which enclose sweet wittle innocent faced bits o' fluff. However, in many cases it quickly becomes apparent that the child is a brat! Rumor has it that the FBI has issued APB's in all 50 states for the capture of this Jokester!

Sheltie-Whipped - the action that the most innocoentest (is that a word? LOL! Is now!) of little shelties perform on their owners whereby they will jump up pull on their owners hair and look at them with the most angelic look. This usually occurs only when the owner is taking just a little bit too long in providing them with their treat!

Sheltie Face Fencing - also known as sheltie face dancing, choreography practiced by shelties with much showing of teeth and touching of faces accompanied by the sound of ARRGGGGHHH, ARRGGGGHHHHH, but unlike fencing in the real world which is done to the death, here it is done until either party gets tired.

Sheltie Jig - is quite a dance routine that is performed when dressed for work and you have forgotten to let the dogs in prior to your dressing. Dance includes all gyrations of trying to get away from muddy paws and licking tongues.

Sheltie Puppy Giggle - (noun) what happens when Gael waves her funbags at them.

Sheltie Smack - similar in motion to a sheltie handshake, but instead of holding paw suspended in air, paw either scratches the couch, your arm, or your leg in order to get your undivided attention.

Sheltie Snow Cone - (noun) - occurs when shelties are allowed to stay outdoors during snow storms wearing E-collars which then fill to capacity with snow leaving one sad nose poking out, i.e., Sammie.

Sheltie Stare - (verb) multipurpose action whereby sheltie stares at owner, and this can be translated to mean anything from look at me NOW, I want something NOW, go get it NOW, I want to eat NOW. Most sheltie owners have been trained very well in its use by their own shelties.

Sheltie Vision - (noun) disease similar in scope to tunnel vision whereby owner no longer sees anything surrounding their sheltie including strangers, people or significant others.

Snobble - (noun) sound your nose makes when you can't find a kellnex anywhere, and you have to resort with great embarrassment to wiping your nose down your sleeve. Of course the liquid is mostly water since you have been laughing so hard you are crying.

Snorfle/Snorfling - see acronyms below - cross between sniffle and snort (not pretty).

Spacecraft - mode of transportation, travelling at the speed of light, whose controls may only be handled by experienced persons by the name of Michelle.

Spake - that's grandma language for she's decided this thing for you, so you might as well stop arguing already.

Spew - (verb) an involuntary reaction by an unsuspecting free soul to a post.

Spew warning - notice that needs to be given when reading posts at work and your boss is in a meeting and you're trying not to make a sound but totally losing it. This may or may not be accompanied by the blowfish routine.

Spewage - (noun) what you spew. i.e., nose spewage, mouth spewage.

Spewitzer - fluffy equivalent to a Pulitzer.

Spewtrigger - (noun) an event precipitating the actualization of a spew.

Splained - (noun) - to receive the real, unabridged story from another fluffy.

Splotzes - is a snorfle with an added tear because a fluffy has missed a post.

"Squealing with job" -- absolute fluffy horror.

Ssssssssppppppppssssssppppp - is the secret handshake of one Spew Mistress to another (Shh, don't tell anyone, okay?)

Stinging - (verb) according to the Figster is an Eastern tradition whereby you take those styrofoam thingies and sting them so that they can be hung on the Christmas tree.

Stringking - (verb or part.) the fluffy effort to grumpily detangle and strew Christmas lights while battling attacking shrubbery. Must include copious quantities of cheap wine. Ex. Chopper Joan was stringking lights while noticing the neighbors next door of the vicious GSD fame had made an elaborate cross out of RED lights in their yard. EX2 Stringking outdoor lights, Chopper Joan muttered to herself about hypocrites and glared at the RED cross while toasting herself w/ more wine.

Stupidious job - a monumental job of collecting lots and lots of Fictionary entries and logging them for future editions.

Sudjestion - either too much or not enough SUDS in the washing machine. Can also be a fluffy idea given by a very inventive fluffster.

Suriosity - as in for suriosity's sake.

Svelte Fluffies - sort of like that oxymoron - 'Ewe's not fat, ewes fluffy'!

Swan Lake - Riley's leap out of the car with extended legs into Dale's arms in true ballet style.

Swan - (verb) to assert intensely; to aver; to insist "fluffily". i.e., I swan everytime I get ready to answer.

Tail of a 'Pendix - next installment of the Figtionary.

The Three Amigos - happy little shelties by the name of Dasher, Comet and Colleen.

Therphy - a therapeutic trophy encased in a cold-pak and applied to fluffy foreheads in times of stress.

Throwing yourself back on the bed laughing - is the position one assumes when on ICQ with Ann. It is the only position in which your diaphram can expand enough to breathe in between laughing, otherwise, you would pass out!

Titty tat - grooming shop term as in I tawt, I taw a titty tat!

Tupperward - (noun) is the cheapest imitation stuff you can get that is almost like TupperwarE, i.e., toward Tupperware, but not quite.

Tele-BRAT-ically - (adj) what happens when Della-brat and Leona are communicating telepathically - i.e., you know, telephone, telegraph, tell-a-brat!

Tennessee Chariot - mode of transportation for the Tennesee Terror. Chariot travels without a driver, but amazingly is able to arrive at required destinations with human and canine passengers in tow.

Time Warp - (noun) talent of our very own Jerry who is able to receive responses to posts before receiving the original post days later. Just how does he do that?? Pretty amazing, huh?

Vertically challenged - undertall.

Vet - usually the place where you bring your dog, cat, etc. for shots, medical attention, and the like. It is not the place to visit while leaving your dog home in it's kennel because you forgot him!! i.e., Ann! (This common malady seems to be genetic in the family. It is also the family of the originator of air photo's! Yup, it is!)

Virgin Fluffy Meeting - Meeting of Fluffies in which at least one of the parties has neber eber met another Fluffy.

Vibes - (noun) - Show of support for fellow fluffsters in time of need. Is shown as ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ - the more the better. See hugs.

Vocalosity - that rare talent to say something with courage, conviction and humor bringing the subject matter to full light among all those in Toonie Town.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - The melodious sound of Miss Karen singing Christmas carols.

Waswolves - what they were before they were wherewolves, i.e., they were herewolves when they weren't werewolves that
changed into waswolves who met up with the therewolves and now they are all in the wherehouse. AKA Hasbeenwolves.

Wearin o' the Purple - you need to be old enough mentally and allows you to throw away the Drictionary (I'm so sorry Joyce!).

Whipster Extraordinaire - masquerades in the persona of the Tennessee Terror, who wears boots and carries a whip for use in
her puppy classes!!

Wnadering - (verb) roaming; (adj) peripatetic i.e., what do my wnadering eyes see.

Yeppers - Yes, But of course, Yep, Definitely, Uh Huh, Yup, Heading nodding emphatically up and down (it's a visual thing - work with me here people..), What else? Absolutely. Well, you get the picture..

Yopics - are topics to tick off JAM.

ZZZIIINNNGGG - emphasis: delivered with deadly accuracy

Things Fluffies Say

Your lives would be dull and boring without me.

Well, Slap my Granny!

Hey, like I said before - whatever works. Whips, chains, spike collars, .357 magnums!! You need to be alpha.

Watch out for any obedience advice from the Figster. She's from the 'tie-'em-to-the-tracks' school of dog obedience.

The Guru refuses to be charbroiled, flamebroiled or FRIED!

Put me back in ze distribution!!!!!!!!!! Ach Tung!! (After having been away from fluff and travelling in Germany..)

Figgery loves company.

Joyce's cheer for keeping puppies in size

OKAY EBERYBODY! 1..............2...............3............

SQUISH HIM DOWN! SQUISH HIM DOWN! WAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY DOWN!

Joyce (Where are those darned pom-poms when I need 'em?)

Why do I always have visions of you sitting at the computer, large size Webster's dictionary on a dictionary stand next to you and you spitting on a finger and thumbing through the pages?

To be used when shining bright lights in shelties eyes and interrogating: "Ve hf vays ofh making you bark!!! And just which one ofh you leetle shelties pooped on the ca-pet?"

In best Obiwan Kenobi voice: "Luuukkkee, never underestimate the "power"of the fluff!"

Never turn your back on a bitch in season.

The fact that you believe yourself sane just adds to the evidence that you are indeed, crazy as a loon!

All this philosophy is making me thirsty -- but it's too early for a Chardonnay.

Go ahead and hold your breath. You will turn blue and pass out before you kill yourself!!

Ya buy 'em books, and ya buy 'em books, and all they do is eat the pages.

Just because your mouth opens and shuts don't make it no prayer book.

You know you've got it bad when you're sitting in the middle of church and something makes you think of someone on the list!!

A FIG divided against itself cannot stand!

You can dress them up, but you can't take them out.

Things English Professors Say

My your're for your kewl bit.

Oh heshup.

If you don't stop, I'm going to have to put on a bib.

Oh pooh.

Fluffy Weapons Artillery

While the Fluffies are a fun and happy group -- they do have their own law enforcement persons/paraphernalia in order to keep order in that wonderful place called Toonie Town. Under normal circumstances all abide in harmony with one another, but if anyone should step out of line... the following persons will be there with their own individual methods of.. uh methods of, um pursuasion, yup, that's the word!! Pursuasion...

Michelle - Chief Security Officer - trained by Worf - Spaceship with missiles

Ann - the Spell Checker...

Joan - Chopper/Ruler/Club with cat-o-nine-tails

Figgy - Meat Tenderizer - who can not, will not, won't not share it!

Elly - Rectal Thermometer

KathyK - Baseball Bat

Grandma Sue - Wet Noodles; Grandma Stare - GSue

Phillip - Exploding Ferrets

Rose - Evil Eye with snakes coming out of your head

Joyce - the diplomat carrying her Big Stick

Jerry - Black Hole paraphernalia including socks, paper clips and coat hangers

FLUFFY PHRASES AND COLLOQUIALISMS

Fluff-in - where a few fluffsters get together and fluff!

Fluff-lite - as in low post volume - does not exist in Fluffland.

Fluffies - list members or pups of list members.

Fluffytail - History of our Kingdom.

Have a Fluffy day - greeting.

How Fluffy - how wonderful

To Fluff - fluffing to the extreme.

Very Fluffed up - proud.

Very Fluffily yours - sincerely.

What the Fluff is going on - I am confused, I missed a post.

We Fluff you too - we love you.

FLUFFY PHRASES FOR OUR AUSTRALIAN FRIENDS

Dead horse - tomato sauce (the ocker puts "dead horse" on EVERYTHING)

Dry as a dead dingo's donger - I'm very thirsty.

Get a squizz at these - Look at these.

Give me a fag - Give me a cigarette

Knock me up tomorrow - call me tomorrow.

One-eyed trouser snake

Running around like a blue-arsed fly - in a hurry.

S/he couldn't organize a piss-up in a brewery - s/he is inefficient.

She's a little bottler, mate! - That's a good one!

ACRONYMS

CCDC - Cyber Center for Disease Control

CIA - Cyberspace Investigative Agency

FLUFF - First Logistical United Fluffy Fluffiversary - 7/28/97

FMGs - Fluffy Meeting Gatherings

HHTSG - Her Highness, the Spew Goddess.

HOL - Hooting out loud.

LAMO - Los Angeles - ModestO - Figgy's driving route - Originally known as Laughing at my Otter.

LAMB - Laughing at my Beaver.

MFN - Mommy for Now.

MFG - Mommy for Good

RODFLMAO - Rolling on Dirt Floor laughing my ass off!

RBOTBS - Rolling back on the bed shrieking - or Robot BS, whatever you prefer! (G)

ROTFLAF - Rolling on the floor laughing at Figgy!

ROTFLMHAO - Rolling on the floor laughing my Hillbilly ass off!

ROTFLOL-WTSDOF - Rolling on the floor laughing out loud - with tears streaming down our faces.

ROTFLMAOANBJCT - Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off and not believing Joyce caught that.

ROTFLMAOOAOAOAOA - Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off over and over and over again!)

SFP - Stinky Feet Patrol

TMBOTBH - Throwing myself back on the bed howling.

TTYLAYFOYCAROTGAGTHBYLSHATHYBTTTSBTDWSYHTBSBYM-I-LWWMGABP-O-R -- Talk to you later
after you fall off your chair and roll on the ground and get the hiccups because you laughed so hard and then held your breath
to try to stop but that didn't work so you had to be scared by your mother-in-law who was miniature golfing at Bob's
Putt-O-Rama.

VBIG - Very big insane grin.

YALD - Yet another lost dog.

BYOK - Bring your own Kellnex

COLTSRN - Certain other lists that shall remain nameless.

EBEG - Even bigger evil grin

FBDGESA - Federal Bureau of Dog Grooming Evaluations and Standards Association

FDA - Fluffy Disaster Aversion

FV - Fluffy Virus

GAOTP - Grinning all over the place

JMHOATOTI - Just my humble opinion and thoughts on the issue

JSM - Joyce Seeking Missiles.

MIS - Missing in Fluff

RCIS - Rectal-Cranium Inversion Syndrome

ROTFLAMO - Rolling on the floor laughing at my otter

ROTFLMDOAUTC - Rolling on the floor laughing my derriere off and upsetting the cat.

ROTFLMDO-AP- Rolling on the floor laughing my derriere off - and p'ing

ROTFLMAO-ASTCWWBMSISS - Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off and scaring cat which would be me, so I'm scared s***less.

ROTFLMAO-WOLAS - Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off - way out loud and snorfling.

SDSBQ - Super Duper Stuper Blooper Queen

TDFKAC - The dog formerly known as Colleen

UTBTQF - Used To Be The Quiet Fluffster

VBFCG - Very Big Fluffy Christmas Grin

VBIG - Very big inncocent grin.

VBSG - Very big stupid grin

WBISTHTD - Wisconsin Bureau of Investigation of Stupid Things that Happen to Dogs

WKYP- Will keep you posted

SPEW FACTORS (SPF1 thru SPF10)

Spew - Calculated at a droplet density of 1 drop per square inch, as measured on the surface of the monitor.

EST: This is if you read a post - do not have a beverage in your mouth but if you did, you would have spewed it! It is just an ESTIMATE. Therefore, it's appropriate volocity cannot be scientifically proven.

ACT: This is an ACTUAL spew and therefore much more scientific.

Reversed spew - dumping all liquid contents and soaking yourself when cheering with enthusiasm. Liquid may be anything from coffee to Chardonnay. A medical/veterinary high (or low) as the case may be.

SPF1 - Just getting started.

SPF2 - Normal cruising SPF is around a 2.

SPF3 - A "guffaw", with liquid added.

SPF4 - Add a snorfle to an SPF 3.

SPF5 - A medium-sized spew, approximately equivalent to a sneeze.

SPF6 - If you had a hamster in your mouth, he'd be in Australia by now.

SPF7 - Your keyboard is history.

SPF8 - Better wipe the other end as well! (That's disgusting!)

SPF9 - Emergency spew factors up to a 9.

SPF10 - In extremely rare instances, it IS possible to achieve a SPF 10. This is the pinnacle to which all Fluffsters should strive..

SPF10.1 - Or higher is referred to as a 'Chelle.

SPEW 12 - is called a Karen. There is no way to grade this one on a scale of 1 to 10. It is a spew of liquid such that it will cover the keyboard, the floor, the desk, the fluffy, the initiator and spots will be found on the wall for weeks to come. It can also be accompanied by a short of milk up the initiator's nose that causes coughing for about a minute!!

SPEW 15 - This is a gen-u-wine Guru SPEW!

Projectile Spew - wins the distance award by spewing right over the computer and out the window!

Out-Of-Ebery-Orifice SPEW - believe me, it's NOT something you want to see - just use your imagination! YUCK!!

A NEW CATEGORY: THE P FACTOR

The P-Factor is similar to a spew in that it requires the release of bodily fluids. However, there the similarity ends. Ummmmm, figure it out for yourself (G). And with the P-Factor there is no rating. It is sufficient to relate that a P has occurred, we need no further details (thanks!). Since it is markedly more difficult to initiate a P, you need only 5 P's to become a P King or P Queen (these are appropriate when one considers the "throne".)

FLUFFY SPEW TITLES

Spew Virgin: One who has yet to initiate a Spew.

Spew Novice: Having once or twice initiated a Spew, this neophyte is desperately attempting to duplicate these results.

Spew Ensign: This person has initiated between 3 and 10 Spews, with at least 2 of them being above SPF6.

Spew Master/Spew Mistress/ Spew Queen/Spew Goddess: Having surpassed the Spew Ensign, this person has initiated a minimum of 11 Spews. At least 5 of these Spews must have beenPlease note that all votes need to be verified and proven to attain the title of Spew Master/Spew Mistress/ Spew Queen/Spew Goddess . Just send a stamped, self-addressed envelope to the ballot counting offices of:

U. Vote'um & I. Count'um

1234 Validate Street

Ballot, NY 100001 1/2

Any discrepancies should be handled by the accounting firm of: Dewey Cheatum & Howe........

SPF5 or higher. It is therefore possible to have achieved 11 Spews, but remain a Spew Ensign.

Spew Lord: To attain this ultimate level of Spewiness, the inductee must have initiated no less than 25 Spews. 5 of these Spews must have been SPF8 or higher. A total of 15 Spews must have surpassed the SPF6 mark and may include the 5 required SPF8 Spews. No more than 5 Spews may come from Figgy. In addition, no more than 5 of these Spews may be below the SPF3 mark. Finally, these Spews must have been attained under no less than 3 different Fluffies. Yes, becoming a Spew Lord is a difficult thing to accomplish, but it is the level to which we must all aspire!! REMEMBER: If you have to ask, you will be awarded a title no higher than Spew Master.

WARNING - FLUFFY VIRUS - (herein referred to as FV)

Please see the description of this very serious disease above. All need to be aware of the symptoms when they first appear - not that you can doanything about it, but console yourself to having joined the rank and file of all those fluffies before, here today and those to come.... Amen..

Remember that by the time you see this it is already TOO late! There is no known cure and is always fatal. The only hope for the victim is a dailydose of fluff and contributions to the "Save a Fluffy Life Fund" to soon find a cure..

Symptoms are:

1 - Cranky if deprived of their daily dose of fluff.

2 - Cannot allow themselves to be away from the 'puter for berry long.

3 - Getting up in the middle of the night to check email.

4 - Putting human kids to bed in street clothes in order to get to the 'puter faster.

5 - Fits of uncontrolled laughter.

6 - Falling out of a chair from laughing too hard.

7 - Uncontrollable urge to spew the contents of ones mouth forth adorning monitor, keyboards - whatever is handy.

8 - Losing all sense of self-respect in your quest to fill the desire for more fluff.

9 - Death due to laughter. If all this has already transpired - I fear that there is no hope for your soul which will be cursed to laugh on 'til the end of time.

Although not yet scientifically proven, there have been sitings of ghostly fluffy figures laughing atop their graves.

BEWARE that all this shall not come to pass to you and that you will be among the first recipients of the newly discovered vaccine for fluffy virus. The main problem in the quest for a cure is trying to find willing participants to help research studies because once the victim is infected with the virus, he no longer wants to be cured....

So Beware All Fluffies - For This Is Your Fate

OUR FLUFFY FRIENDS AND THEIR ALIASES

ALIASES - In order to aid the new Fluffsters in getting to know our happy family a little better, please study the following aliases so that you will know the correct persona whenever they deem to show up. WARNING - Remember ALWAYS to keep these personalities clear in your mind so that we know what to do in an emergency. There is NO help available for those foolish enough to ignore or forget this VERY important strategy for survival in Fluffytown.

Amanda - Australian Songstress Supreme

Ann - aka Twittiepie, aka Auntiekins, aka the Tucker Tummy Twitter, aka Junie Mae, aka Queen Ann (after she received her
Crown), aka Ann Kasakootchiwatchawaleitch (pronounced Smith), aka short, stinky-footed, no-bone-in-her-ear Tennessee
Hillbilly, aka 'Little Bit' (a Joan-induced name), aka Dragon Lady, aka She of the Stinky Feet, aka Missing a Bone in her
Head, aka Crazy Lady with an Axe

'Chelle - aka Pumpkin 'Chelle, aka 'Chelle the Living Doll, aka Urban Legend Queen (ULQ), 'Chelle the Nostalgic, aka
'Chelle, the Respector of Privacy who if elected to a Panel will be the Soul of Discretion, aka 'Chelle the All Seeing, aka
'Chelle the Goose Cooker, aka 'Chelle the Court Jester, aka 'Chellnac the Magnificent, aka 'Chelle Warwick, Your Psychic
Friend, aka 'Chelle, The Outraged, aka 'Chelle, The Blameless (an oxymoron??!!), aka 'Chelle, The Kirsite Calmer, aka
'Chelle the Muse, aka 'Chelle, the Bad, aka 'Chelle, The Red Hot Chile Pepper

CindyB - aka The Niece, aka Chairperson for FCATS (Fluffy Committee Against The SpellChecker) aka Lifetime Member of
the Pitts Party, aka Party '97 Co-coordinator

CindyC - aka Grammy Cindy

Cody & Bailey - aka The Sled Dogs

CyndiO - aka Miss Dead Thing (MDT)

Gael - aka FlufferMother inventor of the SPEW (Coffee stains are still on her walls in Cincy house to prove it!!), aka
Commando Gael, aka the Mother of all Fluffsters

Gigi - aka Gala Oh Shit What Is That!

Janet - aka Janet from another Planet (JFAP)

Joan - aka Mother Ship (MSJ), aka AlterWebbie,aka Ultra-Webbie, aka Miss Smartie Pants, aka Dearest Webfoot of Mine,
aka Ninny Incarnate, aka Lotto Mistress, aka Bayou Babe, aka CJ the Gangrenous Appy (CJTGA)

Joyce - aka the Tarnished Diplomat, AKA the Diplomat with a Big Stick

Judi - aka Judi Berry, aka Jusi, Jusi Riutti Tutti Fruitti, Jusi Fruity Berry

Jukka - aka keeper of Ann's feet (after having lost all sense of smell from his accident).

JulieB - aka apprentice webbie, aka Saint, aka Aunt Saint, aka The Archangel Aunt Saint Juliana of the Holy Sheltie
(AASJHS), aka The Archangel Aint Saint Juliana of the Holy Sheltie

JulieF - aka Snazzy Grannie, aka Grannie Snagglepuss, aka Snaggs, aka TUDAA, aka wife to Crabie Gramps, aka Charter
Member & Founder of Liars Anonymous.

KathyK - aka cosy cabbage, aka Kathy Kalowooskywaski, aka Kathy Kozawazawooski, aka MRS. Wackywick

Kathy & Keith - aka K&K, aka Wackywick's

Kirstie - aka the Wandering Fluffster.

Michelle - aka Fraulein Camp Commandant, aka Fraulein w/the Chainsaw, aka the Super Groomer, aka The Matriarch of the
Pitts Party, aka Mishey Dearest.

Mikey - aka Master Mikey, the Fluffy List Guardian Angel

Nancy - aka baby Nancy, aka Subject Coordinator, aka Honorary Babe

Phillip - aka Phippil, aka Fluffy Lord Lizard Lover, aka Phillip, the Hairless

Sandy - aka Sandy's Shuttle Service (SSS), aka Madam List Mom, aka Sunshine Committee of our Little Club.

SharonB - aka Figgily, aka the doubting Fig, aka Mother Fig, aka the Fig Kahuna, aka not the Ouijamama, aka FigWife, aka
Lady Figdiva, aka Mother B, aka Figs De Tours, aka Figgs, the very definition of the Merry Widow, aka Figgery, aka Fig
Landers, aka Dr. Fig, aka Figgy Wiggy, aka FiggyWan, aka B for budgieless, aka the official Birthday Singer, aka the Mutter,
aka Fharon Braun, aka Figgeroni, aka Ms. Figgins, aka The Flustered Fig

Sheryl Hanning - aka the Deputy.

Susan - aka PWRGirl (Psycho, Weirdo Reference Girl and proud of it!)

Wanda - aka Wanad
NEW CATAGORY - GUIDE TO PRONOUNCING THE STRANGEST NAMES AND WORDS!!!

Kasakootchiwatchawaleitch

Kasa (first a is a long a)

kootchi (like kootchy, kootchy)

watch (like what you tell time with)

awale (like Willy)

itch (like when you scratch)

kaka kootchi watch awale itch. Got it?

FLUFFIES A LA INTERNATIONAL

Since we are a multi-national group, all Fluffies should be well versed in other languages besides English so that they may recognize their names upon hearing them in other countries. As such, please find your name below and memorize the translations. (Information has been graciously provided by Jukka and Amanda.)

Fluffy Finnish Australian

Member Translation Translation

* (that"is two dots above 'A') Amanda (cringing as she typed **(dots above o's) these)

Amanda * A"ma"nda" Mandy

Ann * A"nn Annie

AnnaMarie * A"nma"rii Annie

Becky Beci Becks

Bill Bil Billy-Boy

Bobbi Bobi Bobs

Carolyn * ** Ka"ro"lin Cazza

Cat * Ka"t Pussy

Charles Tshaals Chaz

Chelle Shel Shezza

Cindy/Cyndi Sindi Cinders/Cynders

Dave Deiv Davo

Elly Eli Ells

Gael Geil Gael (pronounced Gile)

Jan * Dsa"n Janny

Jeff Dsef Jeffie

Jerry Dseri Jezza

Joan Dsoun Joanie

Joyce Dsois joycie

Jukka Yoock-kuh Jukks

Julie Dsuuli Jools

Joe Dsou Jo-Jo

Karen * Ka"ren Kazz

Kathy *Ka"thi Kath

Keith Kiith Keitho

Kerry Keri Kezza

Kirstie ** Ko"o"sti Kirst

Merrylee Merilii Mezzy

Michelle Mishel Mishy

Rose Rous Rosie

Sandy * Sa"ndi Sanners

Saye Sei Sao (i.e. SAO Biscuits)

Scott Skot Scotty (pronounced Scoddy)

Sharon * ** Sha"ro"n Shazz/Shazza

Sheri/Sherri Sheri Shezz/Shezza

Sheryl Sherl Shezz

Sue Syy/Suu Suze

Tami * Ta"mi Tams

Verle ** Vo"o"l VoVo (as in iced VoVo biscuits)

Walter ** Uolto" Wallo

Wanda Uanda Wandy

Yvonne Ivon Vonny

And of course - the one phrase that we all want to hear:

shelties = sheltiis - in Finnish.

shetland sheepdog = Shetlanninlammaskoira

sheltie = sheltti

National Edition of the Figtionary

1060 - Room known by complete strangers. Don't believe us? Ask.. Who's room is 1060 - The Pitts Party - you know, Michelle's room.

Acuff Correspondence Course - course which CyndiO is matriculating in order to prepare her for her run off with Elly at the next National.

Air pictures - pictures taken courtesy of CindyB. These can be reproduced by NOT putting film in your camera. Try it, see how easy it is to do? And it is certain that these will be the berry, berry best pictures that you will ever dream of taking.

Arizona wine - beverage of choice enjoyed by all that attended the National in Chicago courtesy of Keith and Kathy!

Beerstie - (noun) Kirsties' college days claim to fame.

Bradley - (noun) was the pleasant, but pointless dispenser of information at the Marriott Lincolnshire in Chicago. The fluffies did their best to supply HIM with all and every bit of information that was within their power to give.. Had he worked in Italy, he would have known Mrs. Becherini!!

Chia-Flutter-Winkie - shortened version of the name original given to our National pup Kristen. Full name actually consists of Chi-Chi-Chi-Chia, Fluffer-Nutter, Wee Willy Winkie. Also known as Radar.

Demodex-aroni - (noun) walking rice-aroni

Doggie Car-Wash - (noun) action of standing with legs spread apart as an A-frame and letting your dog proceed through your legs while scratching both sides of their body. Once the dog proceeds through he/she turns around and proceeds back through your legs in the opposite directions for as many times as you are willing to duplicate the procedure!

Elly - person whose measurements consist of: legs 4 feet long, body, 11/2 feet, and head 6 inches.

Film - the one basic requirement for pictures which Cindy Buckner needed to be reminded of! Now Cindy, before you snap, did you put film in??

Floating Birthday - Michelle's birthday that coincidentally falls in line with the Nationals.

Fluff Activated Dictating Machine - device needed by FWE in order to catch all the new Figtionary entries.

Fluffergy - (adjective) - fluffy energy.

Fluff-Out - gathering of Fluffies coming together for their favorite passtime - AOL Chat!

Fluffy Headquarters - why, Michelle's room at the Nationals, of course!

Fluffy Roundup - job of the Tennessee Terror in trying to round up fluffies for dinner. When questioned about her inabilities to keep them together her retort was: 'Think about it, we're talking fluffies here - you try rounding them up!

Itsy Bitsy Pieces of Hotel Stationary - the berry best in writing material to be used for capturing fluffy figtionary entries.

Joyce Head - occurs when you are trying to speak to someone, i.e., at a dinner table but are unable to make eye contact because each time you go right this Joyce person moves to the right and when you go left, she goes to the left. Many times also seen in movie theaters although the person is usually sitting in front of you!

Joycing - consists of the wearing of a black top and slacks accompanied with a wild, colorful top supplied by Joyce.

Kathy Giggle - the woman doesn't giggle, she goes crazy. She laughs so hard she looks like a lobster crying.

Max and Erma's - restaurant which the fluffies terrorized by congregating en masse and requesting 15 separate checks. An event that obviously has never been experienced by this establishment and hoped never to be seen again! The restaurant also goes under the names of Bert and Ernie's, Fred and Ethel's.

Minneapolis - is a real nice place in your rear view mirror.

Moleskin - no less than 100 yards were purchased for Radar's ears.

Non-List Fluffy - they fluff vicariously.. i.e., Paula, Mary, Anne, Sue, Betty.

Paparazzi - appeared at the fluffy table in the presence of Cindy Buckner.

Pappeltie/Sheltie - Ann's new addition to her family to go with the Pappiliers.

Photographically challenged - are those people whose cameras never make it out of their suitcases.

Pond Scum - favorite dip of choice to Elle who would have rather bathed in this than to be groomed for showing. Elle enjoyed the swamp thang!

Queen Dorothy - our sheltie royalty in the person of Dorothy Christiansen in charge of sheltie rescue.

Tennessee - midwest South.

Yolanda'ing - the raiding of Joyce's closet of clothes to be worn by other fluffies.

FLUFFY SCANDAL:

As much as the fluffies are a fun loving group, a caring group and try to stay within the laws of the land, we do have those who slip into minor indiscretions during fun times. It is sad to report that such was the case with Kirstie at the Nationals. The child does sleep around. In the time that she was there, Kirstie managed to sleep with Joyce twice (a long term relationship), she then proceeded to leave Joyce for Julie - kneed Julie twice that night, left Julie for Betty. No one can say for sure had the National been longer the exact number of beds that Kirstie would have found. The distribution list might have been shortened by asking who's bed Kirstie hasn't slept in!!

THINGS FLUFFIES SAY:

If I run into myself - I'm gonna be scared! (This was Michelle's response upon learning that there were TWO Pitts Parties partying at the Lincolnshire!)

Everybody listen up, they know we are here! Fluffies are already in power and they just don't know that.

If the Fluff fits....

Better than being a bonehead.

I did take up photography for something - air photos!

The Tennessee Terror has several messages for people who piss her off. To see, pull up pants legs.

Breathe, Kathy, breathe!!

I betcha the Holiday Inn has cappuccino.

This is a typical dog table - bitch, bitch, bitch.

If I laugh any more I'm gonna wet my pants!

My face hurts from laughing!!

Start with the numbers you know and then add singles..

She just bit her cigarette at me - I'm scared!!

It's a turquois shirt thingy.

And when they die, it's gonna be because of you!

Kirstie gets belligerent and short when drunk. Kirstie: I DON'T!!

Ann is barking up the wrong tree - actually rasping.

And Granny gets a nose spew!

Be snotty.

My kind - real expensive and you get nothing for it!

The Fluffies are quiet when they are eating.

Liz has eaten out before, she knows what a la kart means.

Insulting Tyler is saying that Ann owns him!

That was back when I was Kirstie.

This is the last supper I have a feeling.

Smoking and non-smoking is only a chair away.

Have to have our fruit w/our beverage.

Joyce had a chip on her shoulder (crouton), so Joanie knocked it off!!

That's cause your good ear is clogged!

Look! This is the Web Site - and with this half a dozen fluffies turn around to show the Web Page address on their fluffy T-shirts! THINGS WE DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW:

Grannie's feet stink!

Grannie's ears aren't standard.

The Tennessee Terror destroys rental cars! Keep all your license plates guarded around her!

'Chelle's wings were singed, but we already knew that!

Gael had goosebumps on her funbags!!

I saw puppies but didn't expect her to suck on me!

Didn't your mother ever tell you, you shouldn't play with your zucchini?

Gael misses the penis colada.

Ann didn't bring her good ear to the restaurant.

Michelle, Kirstie and Joyce use the same kind of razor & clinique make-up.

Michelle shaves her legs in stages - 1/4 a leg one night, another 1/4 of it the next, etc. (She tells us she does this to be considerate of all those who need to use the bathroom - what a considerate fluffy!!) Problem with this is that by the time she goes around, she needs to start all over again!!

Della plays frisbee by having the frisbee hit her in the head (boink!)

Michelle always listens to instructions even if it's drictions that go the long way!