Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Dumb man + smart woman = affair
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a
husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a
wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money that his
wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot
and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot &
not try to understand her at all.
Married men lived longer than single man, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but
he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change,
and she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.
This is for all: the recently married; the soon to get married; and the ones that are still looking...
Years ago, while in prayer, I asked God to send me my wife. For the Bible says: "You have not because you ask not". I told the Lord not just that I wanted a wife but even explained to him the kind of wife I was looking for. I told him I wanted someone that was kind, tender, gentle, compassionate, loving, sincere, peaceful, generous, affectionate, understanding, passionate, warm, intelligent, humorous, sensual, and trustful. I even mentioned things I wanted her to be physically. And as time passed, I would add more things to this list of my heart desire for a wife.
Then one night in prayer God spoke to my heart and said ... "Son I can not give you what you've asked Me for." I said, "Why not Lord?" He replied, "For I am a just God and a God of righteousness and all I do is just and right." I said, "Lord, I don't understand why I cannot have what I have asked you for." He replied, "Then I will explain. It would not be just and right for Me to grant to you your wish for I cannot give unto you something that you are not yourself.
"It would not be fair for Me to grant unto you a person that is loving if you can sometimes be hateful, or someone that is kind if you can also be mean, someone that is a forgiver and yet you can still carry a grudge, someone that is sensitive and you are yet so insensitive...............etc."
He said unto me, "Instead of wasting time trying to find someone or hoping that I will give you someone with all these qualities you seek, you should rather allow Me to take this time to allow you to become all it is that you are looking for. For I cannot give to you that which you are not.
"And if you allow Me to work upon your spirit and to shape and mold your heart as I choose then when you see the one I have for you, you will be able to a so say like Adam said ... "She is bone of my bone and she is flesh of my flesh" for you will see yourself in her for you both will be one flesh. Keep this in mind."
Marriage takes three to be complete
It's not enough for two to meet
They must be united in love
By love's Creator, God above
A marriage that follows God's plan
Takes more than a woman and man
It needs a oneness that can be
Only from Christ - marriage takes three
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence, a life sentence.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his
Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger
and two under the man's eyes.
Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "RINGS":
The Engagement Ring.
The Wedding Ring.
The Suffe-Ring.
The Endu-Ring.
Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they BOTH speak and the NEIGHBORS listen.
Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You enter what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. It's fine that all men are born free and equal - but some of them get MARRIED!
There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a
man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!
There was the man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married ... and then it was too late!"
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a man married 10 years, married man looks happy, we wonder why.
There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.
They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.
A married couple came to a counselor for advice. No sooner were they seated, than they began speaking at the same time in a duel of criticisms.
When they finally stopped for lack of breath, the counselor suggested that now they tell each other all the good they see in one another.
There was total silence.
Then each was given a ball-point pen and a sheet of paper and told to write down something praiseworthy about the other. Neither of them wrote. They both sat and stared at the paper.
After what seemed like a long time, the husband started to write something. At once the wife also began to write -- fast and furiously. Finally, the writing stopped.
There was silence again.
The wife pushed her paper over to the watching counselor. He pushed it back signaling that she was to give it directly to her husband. She reluctantly shoved the paper halfway across the table. He took it and in turn, slid his paper towards his wife. Each began to read.
The counselor watched...Soon a tear slid down the cheek of his wife. She crumpled the paper in her fist and held it tight. That proved that she treasured the sudden revelation of good things her husband had expressed about her. The whole atmosphere of the room changed. There was no need for anything to be said. Praise had healed a thousand wounds.
The husband and wife left arm in arm.
Friends,
There's something to be said for remembering to notice (and share) the good you see in others. Sometimes when we are hurting, the last thing we want to do is something to uplift another. The funny thing is, when we uplift another, we often end up uplifted ourselves.
God designed these vessels we live in to have feelings. The beautiful thing is that these vessels contain spirit and soul that can only be happy and fulfilled when they are in "service" to God and all of His creation.
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