The Dictionary of Dickheadisms

The Dictionary of Dickheadisms was started by me and my best mate Kim when we realised just how many stupid/idiotic things we said and came up with. This dictionary is, by no means, comprehensive, as we have both written out many editions and lost all of them in the process of cleaning. Each edition lost and gained some entries. This page will illustrate the ones we can remember. There are separate parts to the dictionary. These will be added as I want to.

 

Definitions:

Bluerescent Blike Tyres - A man on a bike at night with blue reflectors went around the corner and scared us. This is his name

Fucking - A sentence that ended before it was begun

Grinch made of fruit - I'm going out the front

Meningecoccal of the heart - elusive disease that causes many symptoms, including flu-like ones. Knowledge of this was brought to our attention by Anatomica, or rather, its inclination towards the drastic.

Munch - month

Motherfucker - My sock is scrunchy OR my shoelace is undone

No one's going to get any blob - still not quite sure what Bek said here but I doubt this is it.

Peanut-headed axe murderers - this one's self-explantory

Snickles: surgical needles

Sunroom - A flat, round mushroom that looks like a mini sun.

Turdstool - A round, brown, squishy toadstool that looks like dog crap

 

Stupid Quotes:

Why don't we have eclipses where the sun goes in front of the moon? Oh - right. Shut up. ~Lauren

(to the butcher) Scuse me? Can I have 2kg of chicken boobies? ~Lauren

Have you noticed most cars have four wheels? ~Lauren

Summer: Does your white-out work?
Lauren: Yeah, but only if you use it.

This would be good if it wasn't so shit ~Regular injection from any one of us

(talking about the guy who shot heaps of people at that uni in the States)
Lauren: Did he shoot himself?
Kim: Yeah. He was the last person he shot.

 

 

Conspiracies:

Clover Conspiracy - The rolly-up clovers are in fact gas tubes. When clover flowers, kids sit in them making clover chains. The rolly leaves squirt a gas at them that turns the kids into more clover, thus explaining rolly clover leaves, missing children, and why there is so much clover in the suburbs (more kids)

Theory of Heaven and Hell - When we die, we return to the being that made us, becoming a part of them, If we're good in life, we get to be a cool part, like an elbow or something else cool (cool body parts elude me currently, maybe a finger so you can zap people). If we're bad, we become a crap body part, like a sweat gland in God's armpit or something.