Something Beautiful

 

Close my eyes and hold my heart

Cover me and make me something

Change this something normal

Into something beautiful

 

 

Chronology: Tristan is 18. Raja is 8.

 

The woods were quiet and Tristan moved through them with great stealth. It was his morning hunt, perhaps a rabbit a deer; he hoped he would snag something good. After a bit of preying he spotted a plump grey rabbit idling just in plain sight. Perfect, he thought. He took careful aim with his arrow, but a mere moment before he unleashed his arrow; a figure tumbled and rolled, snatching the rabbit out of the way. That was the third time this week!

 

“Dammit, Raja!” he yelled.

 

She appeared behind him, cuddling the rabbit in her arms, petting it lovingly. Why hadn’t he heard her? That imp of a girl could be quieter than him. Tristan stared at her; barely able to say a word for his anger rendered his tongue immobile.

 

“You,” Tristan said, finding his words, “have been a pain in the ass-”

 

“Ruining your hunt,” she finished. “Yeah, yeah,” she mimicked him, and kissed the rabbit on its head.

 

The little half Sarmatian half Egyptian girl had only been at Badon Hill for four months, but she and the scout had already developed a comfortable rapport. Tristan found her easier to communicate with than most other people. For such a young girl, she spoke clearly and intelligently, and she didn’t bullshit.

 

“That’s the third time this week,” he said with an edge.

 

She shrugged, beginning to walk off back to the fort, rabbit in tow. He sighed harshly and slipped his bow over his shoulder.

 

“Hey, are you coming, Trissy?” she said, looking back at him.

 

Trissy, he thought, rolling his eyes. She still insisted on calling him that no matter his profuse opposition. But, he supposed he could tolerate it – as long as she didn’t call him that in front of anyone else.

 

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled under his breath, stepping in line with the girl.

 

All the way to the fort she continued to coddle his furry should-have-been victim. And what’s worse! He couldn’t even stay mad at her. Tristan guessed it was all right if it brought a smile to her face. He knew that she had trouble sleeping and she confided in him that she rarely ever fell fully asleep. She had shrugged, nightmares, she said. Her face looked a bit wan, and he had caught her more than once staring off into nothing with a look of grief in her eyes. It was eerie how her pupils grew so wide that her eyes appeared black with only that ring of silver. It was like an eclipse. Tristan wondered what demons haunted her.

 

“Don’t snivel, Tristan,” she said, and smiled at him.

 

“I’m not sniveling!”

 

“Look how happy she is,” she told him, holding up the animal to his face.

 

He grunted in bemusement and cursed under his breath in his native tongue.

 

“You forget that I can understand Sarmatian.”

 

“Yeah, well, you know too much for your own good.”

 

Raja laughed. “You’re a beautiful individual, Tristan.”

 

Before he could say anything, she continued to walk. Okay, I’m going to let that one go.

 

As they entered the population of the fort, Tristan unconsciously became distant of the girl. He had a reputation – a reputation for being a cold hearted bastard. He could only imagine the shit that would be said behind his back if people thought he was too chummy with the kid. Not that he cared what others thought – he supposed. The scout wasn’t used to having a companion, and certainly not one ten years his junior. Besides the assumption that he had no heart, it was also apparent that he was a loner. But he was a loner – usually. Oh, he knew that he could be cruel and unmerciful; he had to be considering the life he led. Over the years he developed a liking to the kill, the hunt, the taste of blood that he would lick from his fingers. People thought what they thought about it, he didn’t care that surmised that he had no heart. But this girl, she had no preconceived notions of him. She wasn’t afraid or wary of him either like most people. Raja was an oddity.

 

“Are you going to eat breakfast?” she asked.

 

He heard a few men snicker only a few feet away, his discomfort now palpable. “Yeah,” he muttered, “be there in a few,” and walked off quickly.

 

She watched his back, slightly hurt and annoyed that he still gave a damn about spending time with her around other people. He was distant and short when people were around, but his countenance was the complete opposite when they were alone. Because of her family, she had a deep sense of loyalty and didn’t like anyone disparaging them. She would defend them to an iron giant if need be. Raja sighed and headed towards the tavern.

 

“We’ll get you some carrots,” she promised her new friend.

 

----------------------

 

There were knights smattered around the tavern at various tables, even in the few months she had been at the fort, the numbers dwindled continuously. These men were being checkmated in battle by successive execution; she had never attended so many funerals before in her life. Raja spotted Dagonet and Bors sitting at the other end of the tavern and walked over to them. Dagonet and Bors were like the big brothers she never had. Bors being the vulgar, garrulous one, teaching her all sorts of obscene insults that she had never heard. At least in English. When she first met Dagonet she had to crane her neck all the way back just to look him in the face. Before she knew it, she said something that she had heard from a man back in Egypt: “How’s the weather up there?” The tall knight seemed pleased that she was not afraid of him.

 

“Can I sit with you?” she asked them, approaching their table.

 

“You needn’t ask,” Dagonet said, and pulled out the chair next to him, smiling.

 

Raja plopped on the chair at the small circular table and held the rabbit in her lap. One of the barmaids, a pretty redhead, brought Raja’s usual breakfast. The first time she had sat in the tavern for breakfast and had said thank-you to her, she almost dropped the plate.

 

“Thank you, Vanora,” Raja said.

 

“You look beautiful everyday, Vanora,” Bors said. He had been trying to get her in the sack for weeks.

 

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” Vanora snipped. She smiled at Raja and Dagonet and went about her work.

 

Raja took a piece of carrot and fed it to the rabbit.

 

“What animal are you going to bring in here next – a wolf?” Bors asked, stuffing his face with bread. “Animals at the table.”

 

She grinned. “I’d like that.”

 

He shook his head. “I wasn’t serious.”

 

“I know, but I’d still like to meet one up close.”

 

“Where did you find this one?” Dagonet asked.

 

Raja gave him a knowing look.

 

“That’s the third time this week,” Dagonet said.

 

Bors laughed heartily. “I bet Tristan was pissed as hell!”

 

------------------------

 

Instead of going to breakfast like he said he was, he headed to the archery range to ease some of his tension.

 

Fucking Lancelot, he fumed. What the hell does he know?

 

Tristan was sick of Lancelot’s constant quips about him turning into a softy, or: Isn’t my cousin a little young for you?

 

Asshole! He was pissed at Lancelot and he was pissed at himself for letting that get to him. And then the other men laughed. Tristan launched his arrows expertly, ignoring the other men staring at his prowess as they sometimes did. After he had emptied the quiver, he retrieved them and got ready to shoot another set.

 

“Weren’t you coming to breakfast, Tristan?” Dagonet asked. He was followed by Lancelot and Raja sans rabbit, having returned it to its home. The two knights had their own set of bows and arrows.

 

Lancelot smirked, and Tristan gave him a cold stare that made the cocky grin on his face flicker. 

 

“Not hungry,” he replied shortly. He released the arrow and hit the target dead center.

 

Lancelot said something to the man next to him, and they laughed. The man repeated what Lancelot said to a few other men down the line and they guffawed uproariously as well. Tristan’s jaw clenched and he looked over for a split second to see Lancelot and his drones snickering, throwing glances in his direction. Dagonet noticed Tristan’s ill at ease behavior and turned to see what he was looking at.

 

“Hey, Tristan!” Lancelot called. He didn’t know when to quit.

 

The scout ignored him.

 

The curly haired knight whispered something.

 

“Stop talking, Lancelot, and quit bothering him,” Raja said to her cousin.

 

This made the men laugh harder.

 

“Is she your bodyguard now?” a nameless man piped up.

 

Tristan took a threatening step forward, but he was held back by Dagonet’s firm hand on his shoulder.

 

“You too,” Raja said.

 

“That’s cute,” the man said.

 

“Would you stop?” Tristan hissed at her.

 

She looked at him a bit confused.

 

“I don’t need you to stand up for me. Just get out of here,” he growled.

 

“Tristan,” Dagonet said sternly. “She was just trying to help.”

 

“I don’t care,” he said, shaking off Dagonet’s hand. “She’s a pain the ass.”

 

“Hey, you don’t have to-” Lancelot started.

 

“I was just-” Raja said.

 

“I said I don’t care. You just make it worse. Beat it!” Tristan snarled.

 

“That’s enough, Tristan!” Dagonet said.

 

But he was not deterred. Raja stood there, looking at him blankly, her pupils large.

 

“Are you deaf?” Tristan snapped.

 

She blinked as if she was just then getting the message. Tristan saw the bewilderment in her eyes and his anger abated, he was instantly sorry. But before he could say anything she ran off.

 

“Real nice,” Lancelot said. “You-”

 

Before Lancelot could finish his sentence, Tristan’s fist flew at his face.

 

------------------------

 

Despite the fair morning, dark clouds and strong winds appeared as the day came to an end, rain would surely fall. After Raja had run off Tristan left Lancelot splayed out on the ground while Dagonet tended an unconscious and bloody Lancelot. Tristan had stomped his way back to his room, lying on the bed while he stared at the ceiling. There was a torment of guilt for what he had said to Raja, and he hated himself for letting those idiots get to him. Well, next time he saw her he’d apologize and everything would be all right. She’d forgive him – wouldn’t she? He heard thunder and a snap of lightning, following by the splattering of rain. His thoughts were interrupted by a pounding on the door. When he answered it, Dagonet stood before him, already drenched from the rain.

 

“What?” Tristan asked.

 

“Have you seen, Raja?” Dagonet asked.

 

“Shouldn’t she be in her room?”

 

“No, she’s not there. She’s not in the stables. Nobody’s seen her since she ran off earlier. Not even her uncle.”

 

“But she always goes in the stables or her room when it’s raining. She hates the thunder,” Tristan insisted.

 

“Well, she’s not there, and her uncle is going out to look for her. I’m going, too. Do you have any ideas where she might be?”

 

“Just one.”

 

But she wasn’t there at their place in the forest. Dagonet, Ardeth and Tristan split up, roaming the woods for her. Arthur and Bors stayed behind, making checks around the fort, Lancelot was still a bit worse for the wear after being manhandled by Tristan.

 

The rain beat down on the scout’s face harshly, the thunder was picking up. Raja didn’t show fear of much anything, but she was openly disturbed by the sound of thunder. It was dark now, and the moon was ensconced by a mass of murky clouds. The last time it had rained like this, just two weeks ago, he and Raja had sat in his room in front of the fire, the young girl teaching him how to play chess. It was a game of tactics, planning, skill – his sort of game.

 

Tristan’s keen eyes scanned the forested area, his clothes now soaked through and through. He was granted a reprieve when the clouds dispersed from the moon’s light, and his eye caught something standing out among brush. He moved cautiously, if it was her, he didn’t want to scare her. He was finally in sight of the object, and was met by a brand of white hair, bouncing off the night’s luminescence. He hastily dismounted and crouched near Raja whom was huddled in a tight ball against a tree. He was relieved to have found her, but his relief was replaced by worry when he took a closer look. Her arms were scraped from branches; her hair was tangled with twigs and leaves, her face a blank stare.

She was shivering violently, her teeth chattering, the only movements she was making. He moved his head slightly, taking a closer look at her. Her eyes. Her eyes were chasms of black; staring...staring at what he didn’t know. He had seen this look before, but not to this extent. It seemed as if she were watching something going on in front of her, but the only thing in her line of vision was a mass of vegetation.

 

As shrilly as he could he whistled, hoping that Ardeth and Dagonet would hear it. He was hesitant to move her while she was in this trance. He whistled again, yelled for them. Something was trickling down her arms. He touched her lightly, moving her appendage just so, and saw blood. In her other hand she held her silver hilted dagger that she always carried with her. Seeing the lines of cuts on her forearm made his blood run cold. Without thinking, he plucked the dagger that was clenched in her fist, but that proved to be a mistake. She screamed. And screamed. It was the loudest he had heard her ever raise her voice. She didn’t look at him, just continued to stare where she had been. Tristan tried to quiet her, but the thunder roared, and she became more hysterical. Raja sounded as if she were in pain, shrieking from the depths of her soul, agony that could not be articulated in words.

 

He picked her up, but in this she struggled. She kicked and flailed, her shouts never ceasing. Tristan heard the clamor of hooves on the ground, Dagonet and Ardeth approaching. He almost dropped her, so strong was her resistance.

 

When Ardeth approached he said, “She was just sitting there, and I took the dagger from her hands...” He didn’t know what to do.

 

Ardeth nodded, obviously he knew what her reaction was when this happened, and he took her from Tristan’s arms and held her firmly, saying something in Arabic. Slowly, she stopped screaming and wriggling, becoming slack.

 

Dagonet had ridden ahead, taking initiative to get a warm bath, dry clothes, and healing implements prepared for her. Tristan and Ardeth mounted their horses and galloped back to the fort.

 

--------------------------

 

For a week she was bedridden, catatonic. She came out of it slowly, bit by bit. Feeding her was difficult, she was too weak to raise her head, and despite that she was now aware of her surroundings, she refused to eat at times. After another week she could sit up and was eating more. Raja was finally able to at least sit in a chair by the window in the sunshine, but she still said nothing. Her uncle sat next to her, reading to her, his patience infinite. Her cheeks were sunken in, and her brown skin had turned to a yellowish pallor. Another week went by, and she finally ventured outside. Her and her uncle took walks, but she tired quickly. The knights would sit with her at times, Arthur read to her as well. The only who didn’t sit with her was Tristan. He went by her room and looked in, but that was all. In some way he felt that this was partly his fault.

 

“Will you not go visit her for a while, Tristan?” Dagonet asked him.

 

Tristan shrugged.

 

Dagonet sighed. “I think she would appreciate your company.”

 

“What makes you think that – after what I said to her?”

 

“She’s your friend. Probably the best one you ever had,” adding it as an afterthought before walking away.

 

-------------------------

 

Tristan walked down the hall to her room, hearing her uncle’s voice reading to her. She sat there knitting, barely even looking at the needles she was working with expertise. Ardeth must have heard him because he stopped mid-sentence to see Tristan in the doorway.

 

“I’ll come back later,” he mumbled. But Ardeth stopped him before he could take two steps.

 

“No, Tristan. Come in, come in,” he insisted.

 

Raja did not look up or even acknowledge the shift of company. Ardeth ushered him in and made him take the seat he had just occupied. “You leave tomorrow for patrol, visit for a while.” He smiled at him, and left the room.

 

There was slight breeze drifting in from the open window. She still did not take notice of his presence, and the discomfort was palpable. He took in her appearance, the lost weight, she was still a bit pale, but the brief excursions she took outside had added a bit of health to her. The bandages on her arm were covered by her cotton robe. As far as he knew, she hadn’t said a word yet, so it was probably pointless to attempt to engage her in conversation. He certainly couldn’t read to her, especially from the book Ardeth had just been reading to her. He still couldn’t comprehend the squiggles and dots of Arabic.

 

He sighed. After sitting for a while staring out the window and taking sidelong glances at her, he blurted: “I’m sorry for what I said to you.”

 

She continued to knit.

 

“It was...wrong of me. There’s really no good excuse, I’m just a bastard, I guess.”

 

Raja stopped knitting, but still didn’t say anything. She looked at him, as if waiting for him to go on.

 

“Damn,” Tristan said under his breath. Now what the hell was he supposed to do? “Thanks for defending me...like you did. I shouldn’t have let those jackasses get to me.”

 

Suddenly she gave a weary sigh, and a look of immense exhaustion came over her. “I thought we were friends,” she said quietly.

 

He was startled by her words, the fact that she had spoken at all.

 

“Well, I’d still like to be your friend, if you can forgive me.” Not in a million years would he have thought he’d be having a conversation like this.

 

“Forgiveness is not a part of human nature,” she said.

 

Oddly, his heart sunk at her words. The thought of not spending time with her anymore pained him. He regretted all the more for his behavior, and he usually tried to make it a point in his life to have no regrets.

 

“I understand,” he said, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice. He cleared his throat. “Well, I leave on patrol tomorrow. Probably be gone, not more than a week.” When she didn’t reply, he got up to make his departure. “Bye,” he said simply, he could think of nothing else to say. She just resumed knitting.

 

When he got to the door, he stopped and turned around. “You may not believe me, Raja, or even care now...” his jaw clenched, “but you’re the best friend.”

 

-------------------------------

 

Five days later they arrived back at the fort. They were dirty, tired and hungry, and the first thing they did was bathing. Tristan stayed in the bath house longer, stewing in the warm water long after the other knights had left. His feet were calloused and blistered more than usual and it hurt like hell to walk. He hadn’t seen Raja when he got back, but he had heard Ardeth tell Dagonet that she was resting. He rubbed his eyes and sank under the water, but came up instantly when something plopped in the water.

 

Wash behind your ears, Trissy,” Raja said. She was sitting with her back to him against the tub.

 

“What the hell are you doing in here?” he demanded. He looked at what she had dropped in the water – it was a bar of soap.

 

“Don’t worry, I didn’t see anything. But it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

 

Before he could ask what she meant by that she continued, “Get a move on. You are the slowest bather I’ve ever met.” She tossed a washrag over her head. “I won’t look, go on now.”

 

He looked at the back of her head quizzically, but he did what she said. They sat in silence, only the splattering of water was audible.

 

“Lather your hair,” she said. “I’ll untangle it.”

 

He grumbled. But he was glad that she was talking to him with that lilting tone of hers. She usually did untangle his hair, and not harshly either. Once she tried to put some scented oil in it to make it softer but he adamantly refused. That’s for women, he said.

 

“Did you have to fight any Woads this time?”

 

“Nope,” he said, continued to clean.

 

“Maybe I can go next time,” she said musingly.

 

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” he said resolutely.

 

“Why not?”

 

“You’re too young,” was his simple reply.

 

“I can fight though.”

 

“Your uncle wouldn’t let you go anyway.”

 

“When I get older,” she conceded.

 

Not if I have anything to say about it. He didn’t want her out there.

 

“Are you almost finished?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Good. I hope you weren’t planning to have any women waiting in your room because I have your food in there and your hair desperately needs to be combed.” She picked up his dirty clothes without him noticing. “Not unless you’re still embarrassed by me.”

 

“I was never embarrassed by you.” He gestured to the door with a movement of his head. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

 

He heard her little feet quietly pitter patter out of the bath house and sunk himself back under the water to wash the soap out of his hair. He got out of the tub and looked behind him for his clothes.

 

“Damn it, Raja!” he galled between clenched teeth. The little hellion had taken his clothes with her! All she left was his cloak and boots. He was lucky his room was nearby. Without drying off he put his boots on wincing as they rubbed against his feet and wrapped his cloak around him tightly.

 

He poked his head out the door, relieved to see that there were not many people around. It was nearing the evening and most people were settling in for the night or getting pissed at the tavern. He hurried to his room ignoring the looks of people watching the wet man with only a cloak and boots on his person.

 

Tristan thrust his door open and there she was sitting cross-legged in front of the hearth, stoking the flames.

 

“You-”

 

“...are a pain in the ass,” she finished for him. She waved him off and motioned her hand towards his bed on the other side of the room. “Clothes,” she said.

 

He decided to let it go for now, walking over to his bed. He looked at her still poking the logs and looked back on his bed. There was a wardrobe on his bed. Two new pairs of cotton breeches, one light brown, one dark brown, a new pair of suede breeches, three pairs of socks, two white sleeveless undershirts, two tunics, one a burnt red, one a dark brown, and a brand new coat. Tristan picked up the coat and looked it over. It was a dark brown, similar to his other one, only, well, only it was new.

 

“Where did you get all this?” he asked.

 

“I made it for you,” she said simply with a shrug of her shoulders. Raja turned for a brief moment, seeing the look of consternation on his face. “You don’t like it?”

 

“Yeah...I do.” He was still flustered. “You did all this while I was gone?”

 

“No, I’ve been working on it for a few weeks. I just wanted to give it to you all at once. Put it on. Or do you want to stand there in your cloak all night?” She turned back around.

 

He took his boots off, hissing under his breath as his feet were tortured once again. He slipped on the dark pair of breeches and one of the white undershirts. It was long, just as he preferred. It all fit perfectly. “How did you know my size?”

 

She cursed a streak in Arabic. “Do you always ask this many questions when you receive a gift?”

 

“I just don’t know why you did all this for me.”

 

She got up and sat at the small circular table by the window. She had a plate of food ready for him – slices of buttered bread, meat, a bowl of soup, fresh ale, and four apples in a small basket.

 

“You may not have noticed, but your other clothes were in horrible condition,” she smiled at him. He was glad to see it. He took the seat opposite her and looked at the food. “It’s not poisoned.”

 

Tristan made a sound of amusement with a half cocked smile, grateful for the warm food. “Are you going to eat?”

 

“I already ate,” she said.

 

She did look a little better than when he had last seen her, Tristan observed. Her eyes seemed a bit more alive and her cheeks not so sunken in. “You look better.”

 

“I guess.” She got up and picked up a bucket of hot water that was near the fireplace. She placed it by his feet and told him to dunk his feet in. “I can tell your feet are hurting.”

 

He put his foot in but instantly took it out. “It's fucking burning!”

 

“Oh, don’t pout, Trissy. It’s not hot enough to blister your skin. Go on,” she insisted.

 

He took a bite of bread, and put his feet in the water, getting used to warmth. “Did you put something else in this water?”

 

“Yes. It’s supposed to soothe your skin.” She sat back down.

 

“Thank you,” he said seriously.

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

After a while he said, “I’ll pay you back.”

 

“For what?”

 

“You didn’t get all that material for free.”

 

Raja’s face went hard and she leaned over and slapped him across the head.

 

“What was that for?”

 

“Do you always react this way when someone does something nice for you?”

 

Tristan was silent for a moment, drinking his ale. “I can’t remember the last time someone did something like this for me without wanting something in return.”

 

“Hmm. That’s too bad then. I just wanted to do something nice for you.”

 

“I appreciate it.”

 

“You would have gone around with holes in your other coat and breeches, wouldn’t you? They were still dirty.”

 

“Doesn’t matter to me.”

 

“I figured that. I’ll wear the same thing, too, as long as it’s clean. Now that I’m here, though, you will always have clean clothes.”

 

Tristan laughed at this. “You’re going to be my caretaker, then?”

 

“Not your caretaker, but I’ll take care of you. Even if I’m smaller than you.” She patted his hand.

 

Tristan finished his food and drank the last of his ale. “Can I take my feet out now?”

 

“No. I’m going to untangle your hair, then I’m going to clip your toe nails – when’s the last time you did that? – and put something on your feet.”

 

She carried a black case over to him that she had left by the door. “It’s a grooming kit,” she told him, before he could ask. She took out a comb and started to gently take out the knots in his hair. He almost fell asleep, so good was the feeling of her fingers against his scalp. Soon she was done with his hair and told him he could take his feet out of the water. He sat on his bed leaning against the headboard, then she plopped herself in front of feet, sitting cross-legged. He munched on his apple while she clipped his toe nails – not without her tsk-tsking her tongue in mock derision – and massaged a warm salve into his feet with her little hands.

 

Tristan was sleeping by the time she finished, so Raja pulled the blanket from under his legs and covered him with it.

 

------------------------------

 

It was completely dark when Tristan woke up. He was covered with his blanket, and Raja was gone. The dishes had been taken away, the table wiped clean. He got up and noticed that his feet did feel better. Tristan decided to go to the tavern. He slipped one of his new tunics over his head, and put on his new coat, which was also a perfect fit. His boots were sitting a safe distance from the fire, aired out and clean of the dirt and mud.

 

When he entered the tavern it was loud and fairly crowded. Bors noticed him and waved him over. He took a seat with him and Dagonet, ale being instantly served to him by a lasciviously smiling wench. A minute later Lancelot took a seat across from Tristan, the curly haired knight’s swagger and cockiness was back by now. “Are you wearing new clothes?” he asked.

 

“You are observant,” Tristan said dryly.

 

“How much did that cost?” he asked incredulously.

 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” he stated.

 

Lancelot looked at Dag and Bors for assistance. But they were both chuckling at Lancelot’s apparent bewilderment and resentment at the usually shabby dressed Tristan having brand new clothes. A look of clarity came over Lancelot’s face.

 

“Someone gave them to you!” he accused.

 

Dagonet rolled his eyes. Bors was busy chatting with Vanora, who had suddenly come around. Unbeknownst to him, Raja had put in a good word for him.

 

“I’m off!” he announced with a wide grin on his face and Vanora’s hand in his.

 

Lancelot was still stewing over Tristan’s good fortune, finally going off with a woman.

 

“Raja?” Dagonet asked him.

 

Tristan nodded.

 

“She’s good to have around,” Dag said. “She’s even been helping me with my Latin,” he confided.

 

Tristan raised his eyebrows in surprise. “She’s too smart for her own good,” he said in a good natured way.

 

The tall knight laughed.

 

After Dagonet left, Tristan headed back to his room as well. Normally he would take a woman to his bed, sometimes for a fuck, sometimes for a blow, but he wasn’t in the mood. When he got back to his room, he took off his coat and draped it over a chair, and put the other clothes on the seat of the chair. He went to sleep in his breeches and undershirt, drifting off.

 

--------------------------

 

The rain woke him up. After that he couldn’t fall back asleep. When the latch on his door flipped off by itself, he instantly went for his sword, but when Raja popped her head in, he relaxed.

 

“Come in,” he said.

 

She slipped in and latched the door shut again. She went and plopped on his bed, and he saw that her pupils were wide again.

 

“What’s wrong?” he asked concerned.

 

“Couldn’t sleep,” she whispered. “It’s too loud, and they might come back.”

 

All he heard was the sound of rain. “Who might come back?” She flinched when a rumble of thunder sounded.

 

“Here,” he said, pulling the covers back.

 

She crawled under the covers and on top of him, her head against his chest. He laid back and pulled the covers over them. For some reason this felt like the most natural thing in the world. She twisted his hair around her finger, her other hand clenched in a fist on his shoulder. He took her tiny fist in his hand, enveloping it.

 

“Am I too heavy?” she asked quietly.

 

“Hmmph. You’re light as a feather.”

 

They lay in silence, she still twirling his hair around her finger.

 

“I don’t know who they are, Raja,” he said quietly, “but I won’t let them hurt you, okay?”

 

Her head nodded against his chest, and he held her to him with his free arm. She warmed his body, and he felt peace. Eventually he could tell that she had drifted off because her hand had stopped moving. He pulled the covers up higher, and began to drift off himself. It was the most peaceful slumber he had had in years.

 

 

And I'm still fighting for the

Word to break these chains

And I still pray when I look

In your eyes, you'll stare right

Back down into something beautiful