Between Mind and Heart
It is well for the heart to be
naive
and the mind not to be.
-Anatole France
Chronology: Tristan is 19. Raja is 9.
Dimly, Arthur heard pitched sounds in the hall. It had woken him up, and the
lady beside him.
“What is that, Arthur?” she asked groggily.
He mumbled and threw the covers back. Slipping on his breeches – never one
to prance around naked – he stumbled to the door as the sounds grew louder.
Around the corner of the hall, Raja was chasing after Beauty the Chicken.
“Beauty!” she called out. The rogue chicken had escaped from her room. Her
hand-basket flapped in her hand. Just as she rounded the corner, the door to
Arthur’s room opened. Raja heard his deep yelp of surprise, then a lady’s
scream.
She bolted into the room, calling the chicken’s name again. Beauty squawked
and flapped her wings around spastically. She made a racket, flying a few feet
off the ground, and then back down all over. The woman wrapped the sheet around
her, pressed against the wall as she cowered on the bed. The suddenness of the
intrusion had increased her discomfiture.
The little Egyptian chased Beauty around the room. She scrambled under the
table, then ran after her across the room. The lady’s sounds of fright only
exacerbated Beauty’s panic. She had stepped into a room of chaos – even though
she was the one that caused it.
The other knights had heard the racket and came running to the room, weapons
in hand. What they saw was nothing like what they had expected. They saw Raja
chasing a chicken around the room, an overturned hand-basket flew out of her
hands. Arthur was dodging the small girl’s chase, also hoping the hen wouldn’t
start pecking at his feet.
“Raja!” he called.
“I got her,” she called, “just hold on,” she told him, lunging under the
table again.
Beauty then flapped her way on the large bed, causing the lady to stand up,
pressing herself against the wall as close as she could, her feet caught up in
the pillows.
“I got her!” Raja said triumphantly. She sat at the end of the bed, her feet
not able to touch the ground. She held Beauty as she would an upset puppy. Raja
kept her wings from flapping around, stroking the hen’s head, murmuring
soothing words. “There we go,” she said. “You just calm down, now.”
Raja only looked up when Dagonet addressed her.
“What is this, Raja?” he asked, utterly at a loss.
Next to him, Tristan cocked an eyebrow, smirking.
“And this is my cousin,” Lancelot muttered under his breath, eyes rolling up
in bewilderment.
“I opened the door,” Raja explained. “I told her to go down the hall and to
the right, and she went left.”
Lancelot snorted.
“You all are scaring her,” Raja admonished, looking at their weapons.
“What’s wrong with you? Put them away.” But she turned to Arthur and the lady
and apologized.
“Quite all right,” the woman said in a hushed, nervous tone. She was a
prostitute, and not modest about being wrapped in only a sheet amongst men, it
was just the chicken that had her trepid.
“Well,” – Bors cleared his throat – “I guess I’m back to bed. I think I
still have a good hour yet before I have to wake up.” He trudged off, shaking
his head, chuckling as he went.
For a moment, Lancelot smiled at the woman behind Arthur. “Hello, Sonya.”
Even an hour after dawn he could still put on the charm.
“Hello, Lancelot,” she smiled.
Arthur rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. His curly hair was
standing on end.
Raja looked back and forth between them, her turn to be confused. She got
off the bed and picked up the basket, placing a mollified Beauty in it.
A deep abruption of air sounded, which Raja knew was only the sound of her
uncle. She smiled sheepishly. “Beauty got out.”
Ardeth’s dark eyes surveyed the room in bemusement. “I apologize for the
intrusion, Arthur,” he said, “and...”
“Sonya,” Lancelot informed.
“My apologies to you as well, Sonya,” he said, bowing his head slightly.
“Of course,” Sonya said, eyeing the dark man with the glossy, shoulder length
black hair; impeccably groomed, his black garb that seemed impervious to any
fleck of dirt.
Lancelot hid his laugh as Sonya caressed Ardeth with her eyes. After a year
at
“Before you make me leave,” she said to both Ardeth and Arthur, “I have to
ask Sonya a question.”
“Oh?” she perked up, stepping out from behind Arthur. She grinned nicely at
the girl, taking a liking to her despite her odd taste in pets.
Raja seemed pleased and surprised that Sonya was being so nice to her. “Yes.
Do you know a woman named Anna?”
At the memory of the conversation containing the word “cocksucker” Lancelot
snorted, but when Ardeth turned and glared at him, he disguised his laugh as a
cough. Anna was the woman Raja had heard being called cocksucker.
“Anna?” Sonya titled her head to side. “An unpleasant woman.”
Arthur said something quietly to Sonya. Most likely warning her not to give
out too much information.
“I wanted to talk to her,” Raja said, ignoring her uncle’s calls, “I’ve
heard some pretty awful things about her.” Then she turned to her uncle and
everyone, taking in a deep breath about to tell them something she had forgotten.
“A couple of days ago, I heard more of the kitchen ladies saying that Anna
choked a chicken!”
Lancelot couldn’t hold in his laughter anymore.
“Get out of here,” Dagonet hissed.
“And she also sucks-”
“Raja,” her uncle said sternly.
“I wasn’t going to say the word!” Raja protested. “I was going to say
chickens.”
Sonya looked at Arthur speculatively. His jade eyes set on hers, trying to
convey that the little girl didn’t quite understand the meaning. “Oh!” Sonya
smiled, she the girl’s naïveté was cute.
“Raja, no more talk of this,” Ardeth said shortly. “Taa'la maei.”
Brother Osiris, what am I to do?
“Wait!” Raja dug her heels into the floor, more obstinate than she had ever
been with her uncle. “I just want to know who she is!” Beauty clucked at Raja’s
raised voice.
“Baedien, Raja,” Ardeth lectured. Then he spoke in Arabic. Whatever
words he spoke in his native tongue always seemed to make Raja stop in her
tracks and obey.
“Na am fahamt,” she replied dejectedly.
“What a sweet girl,” Sonya said, taking a breath as she sat on the bed.
Tristan and Dagonet had already departed.
“Sweet?” Lancelot replied incredulously.
Arthur cleared his throat, a clear sign that he wanted Lancelot to leave.
“Ah, yes,” Lancelot grinned slyly. “I shall leave you two alone then.”
When Arthur closed the door he heard Lancelot say: “Sweet?” and
scoff.
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For near two quarters of an hour, Ardeth had lectured Raja about keeping
certain animals in her room. There had been similar problems with this in
After her uncle was finished talking he confined her to her room with
breakfast. Punishing her was always a difficult task. Making her clean did not
work – she enjoyed it. Extra studies – she enjoyed it. And making her go
without a meal was out of the question, her health came first. So, he took
Beauty away in her hay filled basket, and made sure that Piggy the Mouse was
out of the room as well. Both animals remained with him in the study.
After she ate her breakfast, she continued to contemplate why her wanting to
speak with Anna about her cruelty towards chickens was such a problem. As she
lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling, she thought about the injustice of it.
Plus, no one would even tell her what Anna looked like so she could find her.
Then, she thought of the one person who knew where everyone was around here –
Tristan. He would help her certainly.
All the excitement of the morning had her dozing before she knew it. Raja
awoke in
“Raja,” he lifted his head from missives, and smiled at her. “Sleep well?”
“Yes,” she replied. Beauty popped out of her basket and waddled to her,
while Piggy crawled up her leg to her shoulder. She greeted both of them
affectionately. “Do I have to go back to my room?”
“I suppose not, little one.”
Raja beamed and gave him a hug and kiss. She put Beauty back in her basket
before she ran off to find Tristan. He probably would have just finished his
lunch...then he would go practice or hunting. She hurried to the stables,
running into him just as he was walking there.
“You know,” he said, “people tend to eat chickens not carry them around in
baskets like royalty.”
Beauty clucked, and Raja gleamed at Tristan sternly. “That was uncalled
for.” Piggy came out from her tunic and settled himself on the outside of the
garment.
He half-grinned and continued to walk. Raja seemed blind to the passersby gawks at her – a small person carrying a chicken
in a basket and a mouse on her head. Tristan gave a withering glance at two
young people who started to point and laugh – freezing their gestures of
contempt. It was odd, a year ago he would have been walking alone, and people
still would have stared, but never with laughter. Their gazes were more a
fearful awe as the – surely – hideous rumors about the person he was sped
through their minds. Tristan had seen them, but hadn’t cared. But now, it was
not really him they stared at – but Raja, and that he cared about.
“I was looking for you though,” she said, trudging alongside him.
“Hmm?”
“I need your help.”
“Okay,” he said, agreeing without asking any questions.
“Could you find Anna for me?”
Tristan stopped in his tracks and stared down at her. She looked up at him
with such hope and fondness, depending on him – her friend. He stifled the need
to take a big, “oh shit” breath. Now he knew what Ardeth felt like. Tristan
resumed his pace in silence, knowing that Raja would not ask again, but she was
still awaiting his answer.
As they entered the shade of the stables, the smells of hay, horse sweat,
and grain invaded their nostrils. Tristan scratched his beard, still trying to come
up with a reply. As he got out the grooming implements for Dyne, he asked: “Why
is finding her so important to you?”
Odin came over to Raja, nuzzling her head. She put Beauty’s basket down. “I
just wanted to talk to her.”
About the chickens, he thought. Why didn’t Ardeth just try to explain
to her that it wasn’t chickens those women were grouping Anna with? He found
himself hating to say no to her, because...there was really no good reason for
him to decline her favor, something she so rarely asked of him. It was a simple
one, and though he did not personally know this Anna, he figured she was a
whore and could easily be tracked. For a mere second he debated just telling
Raja himself, but if Ardeth hadn’t then there must be a good reason for it.
“I’ll try to find her,” he said.
The look of sheer gratitude on her face sent sparks of warmth to his heart.
Still, he would have felt better if she’d asked him to bloody someone instead.
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A few hours later, Tristan knocked on Ardeth’s door to his study. A lot of
ruminating had happened since Raja asked him for a favor, and though he was
still hesitant to speak to Ardeth about it, he felt he had to.
“Come in,” the deep Egyptian voice said.
Tristan opened the door, and took a seat the Egyptian had offered. He also
accepted the cold ale.
Ardeth waited patiently to hear whatever Tristan had had to say. He knew
speeches were not Tristan’s strong point, and imagined that knocking on the
door had taken much deliberation on his part. Despite all that, the scout was
still composed.
“Raja asked me to find Anna for her,” Tristan said abruptly, straight to the
point.
Ardeth made a rumble of understanding in the back of his throat.
“I said I would try.”
He nodded slowly. “Thank you for telling me this. It is a difficult
situation,” he said.
Tristan heard a note of sorrow in the man’s voice.
“Do you understand?” Ardeth asked him, a slight arch and narrowing of his
brow moved on his face, his dark eyes boring into Tristan.
Tristan’s silence was enough.
“I hesitate to explain to Raja the adequate usage of that word. If not
because of her age, but then for the personal knowledge she already has of it.
Were it not for that, I believe she could take it in stride; yet, under the
circumstances I feel it would do more harm than good. Putting a name to an
action makes a memory more potent. Do you understand, Tristan?”
He hated that Ardeth was being cryptic, but he gathered he was doing it for
more Raja’s sake than any. And perhaps it was not the right time to feel such
an emotion, but he felt worthy – worthy to be trusted by such a respected man,
especially considering the information he had just divulged.
“I understand,” Tristan replied.
The Egyptian nodded reverently.
---------------------------------------------
Raja was setting up chess pieces in her room. Piggy was lounging on the bed,
while Beauty sat comfortably in her basket. She smiled brightly when Tristan
appeared in the doorway.
“Do you want to play Chess?”
He walked into the room and sat down across from her. He saw how safe she
felt with him, how buoyed by his presence she was. The glitter in her eyes that
he saw now, he was glad for. Sometimes those sparkles went away, falling
somewhere deep and dark inside of her. Tristan understood that Ardeth knew some
day Raja would become familiar with the knowledge she lacked, and sitting in
front of her now, he realized that he felt she should not know either. Not
today. Not tomorrow. Raja was capable of understanding a lot of things, at
times, more things than he did – but this was something he comprehended:
knowledge can be dangerous, and already, he knew Raja had too much.
“I talked to Anna,” he said.
Raja stopped and waited.
He prepared himself for a semi-truth. “I took care of it.”
“Thank you, Trissy!” Raja got up and gave him a fierce hug. “I bet she
listened to you better than she would have listened to me!”
He grunted and shrugged.
“I think I’ll sleep much better tonight,” she said with conviction.
He smiled. “Good.”
Meaning:
Taa’la maei: come with me
Baedien: later
Na am fahamt: yes, I understand