November 3, 2005

The past week or so has worried me on keeping God in my heart and mind at all times. Talking with a friend tonight, I realized that keeping a feeling of being on fire is something that not only cannot last, but something I dont' think God allows to last forever. Instead, I think He brings us down to earth, in one of two ways. We can either come back down, willing to serve and always listen to Him, and ready to do His work, or we can come back ready to let the sin rush back in and let things get darker in our lives than before. The first is much harder, but at the same time, much easier.

I believe this is because it all relies on where you apply your faith. If you let go of the idea that God is incapable of certain things, and can work in ANYTHING, you will find it easier to let go of sin. If you start to let doubt creep back in, the sin rides on it's back. I am just starting to realize this.

God was very obviously present today in what I saw. I spent the early part of my day shopping with two of my friends for Christmas, and what I saw blew me away.

Less than a full week ago, these two were not on speaking terms. They had decided they disliked each other too much to be friends anymore. Then I watched as God brought them back together again, as they let go of pride and realized that ego can't be as good a friend as another human being can. Today I saw them behaving as if nothing had ever occured, and at one point, one of them said that it was just as if nothing had happened. How seamlessly God can heal a wound could baffle the most proficient surgeon.

Also, in all of the chaos that is Christmas (that has to be some form of irony, I'm sure), I saw many today that changed my perception of Christmas crowds. More than once today, as I was about to get frustrated with traffic, or pulling out of a parking lot, someone came along to let me out just as I started to doubt if I would get out. I ran into some of the most amazingly friendly people in stores today, that were actually polite and smiled back. God works amazingly in the worst situations, I think.

My main vice has all but left my mind, only by the grace of God. Something that once plagued my mind many times a day has almost been forgotten. I have not myself or my motives to thank, but only God and His power to heal and change what a person can do.

The question many people seem to ask is "How can God let us kill each other and let wars happen?", but is the more appropriate question maybe "How can we decide to willingly grow so far apart from God that we see validity in killing one another and starting wars?"