December 3, 2006

So.

A year has come and gone, and a new year has begun, and myself not unchanged in the midst.

I find myself a changed person, and see that God has shown me a wealth of things in the past year that I could not possibly have come upon on my own.

I've found myself thinking at many points that the Lord was not moving in my life, not showing me anything, until I looked back after a few days to find that my life was worlds different than the previous week.

God has shown me that my life is certainly not my own, and that my world and efforts should and must always be to glorify Him. I've been shown that when my efforts are taken not in pursuit of myself but in pursuit of Him, in the end, I am always happier as a result.

I've found that a year without pursuing women will show you what Godly women are truly like, and that they are more common than you would at once believe.

I've found out that people change, no matter how seldom and how little you want them to. Both for the better and the worse.

I've learned that I'm much stronger than I thought, and very weak in many areas I thought myself to be strong.

I've truly found out that worrying about doing the right thing at the exact right moment is not as important as you might thing, or as much as movies and the media and television might try to make you think. As it turns out, if your heart is for God, and you truly follow that and do what is scripturally right, and you stick to it, God is going to get you where you need to be. Because as people, we're always going to mess it up.

I've learned that life isn't the movie, and noone is the stereotypical character. The role people put us in doesn't need to hold us back from what God has blessed us with. Our gifts aren't held back by people.

I've truly seen that God has truly already won the battle. The devil has no victory except the one the devil is allowed to win.

I've been shown that just because it's a Christian school, that doesn't mean everyone plays nice in a big happy family.

So.

So the past year hasn't been the easiest at times, and I've had to learn alot of things. God in His glory has granted my prayers to be gain some wisdom, and while this has perhaps been one of the busiest and most tumultuous of my life, I do not regret any of it.

I've made many stupid mistakes this year. I've seen many new things and felt many new feelings. My heart, I feel, has grown, in many aspects.

God has shown me once and for all that being me is ok, and better than trying to stand out as someone else. I've found that I actually like me as me a lot, and people do as well. In this, I can thank and give credit solely to God.

In a year, I've left one college for another, left one job for another, and seen many other changes in my life. I finally realized that this sort of thing has been happening every year of my life, but this year, God has used this journal as a tool of showing me this, as well as all the other tools he used.

I go into my next year excpecting things not to be easier but just as life-changing, if not just as tough and amazing all at once.

I thank every single person that was a part of this year and every year, and I thank the things that served as methods of God showing me new things, such as:

Don Miller's books "Blue Like Jazz", "Searching for God Knows What", and "Through Painted Deserts"