December 8, 2005

God has a funny way of showing you that you may be getting ahead of yourself and trying to get ahead of Him.

I spent alot of time today frustrated and annoyed with people I should have been patient and peaceful with.

I had to come to grips with the fact that I may be too critical of things I don't support in my lifestyle and religion, and a couple of people in particular are telling me this on a daily basis.

I have to fight the internal urge to let anger dictate my feelings towards this instead of being humble and letting God work me through my problem with this. I know that I'm not supposed to want to cause conflict, but that doesn't stop the devil from trying hard to tell me that it's the right thing. The lies he feeds me constantly have never been more apparent to me than at this point in my life.

The battle for souls has never been so easily seen by me until right now.

The beauty of it is, the best thing to do in this situation is to give up. The struggle isn't worth the fight against the devil. We don't have to fight him. We simply have to give up to God. If we have fallen into the arms of the Son and His grace, the devil can fight as hard as he wants, but can no longer begin to lay claim to us. To know that I have nothing to REALLY worry about is something that could drive out all the nervous impulses I can think of.

I look back at what has been written here so far, and I know that this insight is not of my own doing. God has written more of this than I think I have, to be honest, and that thrills me.

In the change in the weather today, I saw God in every visible breath in the cold air, in the way the rain seemed to be solid as it fell from the sky, and in the unconvential beauty of the overcast clouds. To find God in a cold, rainy day is, to me, as incredible as the brightest summer day.

Why are our addictions more tempting to us than He which should be our only addiction? Why do we, more often than not, find it so hard to be addicted to our Creator as opposed to a liquid or act?