December 12, 2005

I have actually avoided writing this entry.

It's not because I don't have things to say, but because I've been in quite an angry mood.

It took God telling me this for me to realize it though:

Anger is one of the times when you need to stop and listen to God the most.

I wanted to avoid writing in an angry mood, when maybe I should have, because i would have realized how much I actually needed God IN that mood.

I was shown by Him that just when we think we've got what He tells us to do figured to the letter, He reveals a bit more, and it changes our perception completely. I say this in reference to my music. I think He wants me to continue, but not where I'm currently at.

Disappointments bring the greatest revalations in the Lord, at some points, I believe.

I drove my the hotel again a few days ago. Almost half of it has been demolished at this point. I can see the ground where the hotel once stood, and grass is starting to grow around it.

At this point, I am still part of this problem I see, but still I don't understand it (and I am probably repeating myself here):

Why, in our times of greatest strife, do we run from God? Why is it our inclination to turn and try to hide from the only One that can set us free of misery? Christ went through the most pain and suffering that can or ever will be, but somehow, we feel that maybe He doesn't know what we're going through, or that He doesn't want to be bothered with it? Why do we choose to do this to Him and to ourselves?