December 21, 2005

I'm sure just about anyone I've ever met has heard the phrase from the Bible that goes something like this:

"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth."

I find this relevant, particularly lately. I find it particularly important that as a Christian, I am meek. I mean this more in terms of loving peace and living without resentment, seeking no violence.

Being meek as a Christian isn't very popular these days.

I can think of more Christians I know that are particularly arrogant and boastful in their lives than I can think of those that live a meek and humble life. I am no exception. At times, God certainly catches me tooting my own horn, and later, it's a horrible realization to come to.

This is certainly not worse or better than any other sin, it's just one that I've noticed many times in myself and in general over this last month and year.

But my point is not to condemn others. I've certainly not dug the plank out of my own eye in this life.

I've also noticed within myself, that sometimes my quest for God's heart is called by others a quest for perfection. I don't know how to convey that I'm never after perfection, because it's not attainable, but I'm only striving to be like the only one that ever WAS perfect, and live as much like He did as possible. Of course it's not possible for me to be perfect, and that idea isn't lost on me. I know that when it comes down to it, I'm a human being, but that doesn't change the fact that I want to strive to do better. I don't know if it's a side effect of this world that striving for the heart of God is viewed as a certain attitude by others or not, but it hurts to think that striving to be better than what we're forced into in life, by this world, is viewed as a negative objective at times.

It's a funny thing in life to be viewed as a token of any color. In my case, I'm my family's token Christian, obviously. I am the one who, on any given occasion, receives the spiritual paraphernalia and merchandise emblazened with christian symbols.

Now, this is not to come across as being ungrateful at all for any of it. I am beyond grateful for it. Every bit of it is probably more amazing to me than most people would guess when it is being given. I think it just strikes me as strange that my faith seems to be recognized as a phase of my life, I think. It seems that my life in Christ is viewed much like the points in my life when I was receiving only Ninja Turtles-themed gifts, or Power Rangers. I think it's viewed as something that will pass in my life. Certainly, most of them don't plan on buying me Christian-related merchandise for the rest of my life. They'd run out of things to buy. Funnier still is the idea that they very probably wouldn't.

Again, this is no criticism. Simply an observation. I love my family as much as one person can, it's just something that struck me as funny and strange all at one time.

How do we lack the abilitiy to trust that our future is in good hands? How does fear so grab all of us, that even the most faithful among us fears what tomorrow holds in store, even if we know what awaits us at the end of all of this?