December 23, 2005

A friend made a comment recently, giving congratulations for keeping this thing up for so long.

It made me kind of rethink what I'm doing here.

I mean, of course it IS something to keep it going for so long. Staying on one task every day for almost 60 days is a feat I can barely believe that I've kept up.

At the same time however, simply thinking of it as something that I've kept up with for 60 days is not what intended.

Saying this, I'm not insulting what they said in the least. What I'm saying is that it made me wonder if I am, at this point, keeping it up purely for the sake of a commitment I've made to me, or if I'm still doing it to record God's will and presence in my life.

As of late, I'll admit, I've kind of felt like I've been stalling out on this journal. I feel like I've been repeating myself and running out of ideas.

To quote myself, I guess I just haven't been paying enough attention.

I've caught myself often lately and noticing that I'm letting entire days go by without trying to seek out God. This is never my intention, just something that I let happen. I realize through this journal that my stagnation is purely because I am not looking as hard as I was.

God is giving me plenty of opportunities to see Him, in my friends, my family, my jobs, and just in life. The trick is really circular, to be honest.

To keep looking for Him, I have to keep my eyes open, but I can't do it on my own, so I have to ask Him to help me. A circular solution to the problem. It begins and ends with Him, just like He said and says.

So it is with a new vigor that I plan to seek Him out from now on, in that I have a new year, a new musical project, a new job, and a life blessed by Him in which to please Him and serve Him and seek Him. All I need is Him to find Him.

It's simple, really.

What problem is there in seeking the Lord God? Is serving Him really such a time consuming, threatening problem as many of us would be led to believe? Is it possible that my very words would be considered a threat to some parts of our world simply because I seek to love God and please Him, no matter what the risk?