December 25, 2005

A truly beautiful day.

I think at this point in time, it'd be rather cliche' for me to simply explain Christ's birth and it's beauty. Most everyone I know has heard the Christmas story on many occasions.

It doesn't make the day any less beautiful, though.

I actually, for the first time, maybe ever, noticed the joy that exudes from people on Christmas day. Like so many people, for most of my life I have been caught up on the idea of presents on Christmas. What changed this year I believe was God telling me to look past it. By this I mean I was told ahead of time that due to various complications, Christmas presents would not be as numerous as in years past. So I prepared myself for this, in both mental preparation and prayer.

What occured was what I will now call the most amazing Christmas I have ever experienced. Instead of looking for the presents, I simply watched my family and friends and noticed as their company BECAME their gift to me. I have dealt with this idea many times in my life, but never has it been so apparent to me as this Christmas. Everywhere I turned, I saw smiles and joy, and it became apparent that this was God at work. The joy of the Lord had overtaken us on Christmas, whether we recognized it or not.

It also occured to me, perhaps by God Himself revealing it to me, that all the problems that had occured this year, financially and otherwise, that resulted in this Christmas may have all been to come to the point of having me realize what a TRUE Christmas, like the first one, is like.

Now that is not to say that I have a complete grasp on the idea of what Christmas is. My regret is that this Christmas I was so caught up on ideas of doubting myself and certain things between God and myself, one idea in particular, that I at times couldn't take my mind off of it. So I guess my one regret it that I might've missed something He was trying to show me in the depths of my own ignorance.

All the doubt aside, I have seen at least a taste of what the birth of Christ is supposed to represent. I spent time and had a meal with my immediate family, and I know that God sat with us as we had our time together. As the family goes their ways for the coming months, one of the top prayers in my mind is that we don't drift from the love we felt on Christmas, and I know that God is more than capable of keeping us together, if we want to be.

It was also on this Christmas that God sort of allowed me to think of the coming year and what it could bring, be it the beginning of a new ministry, the new musical venture, a new job, or many other things. The thing I look foward to the most however, as gushing and well, cheesy as it may sound, is to seek God's heart more than ever. I have spent many years of my life going and seeking the approval of others and of myself, I think it is time that I devote, and TRULY devote time to the seeking of God and Christ and the Holy Spirit, for it is there that I am delivered from that which I seek to escape.

I come back to an old idea and question:

I have heard it discussed many times, particularly this year, as to the actual time of the birth of Jesus.

The true questioning I put forth is this:

What does it matter? Does it matter whether Jesus was born on December 25th or June 2nd? Does the time in which Christ was born bear ANY significance as to what His birth signified? Could it be that in our debates about when the Savior was born, we may be losing a bit of why He was born and what He came to do?