February 4, 2006

Today, I can't really describe exactly how I feel. My emotions can't be put into words, and what I say can only give a shell of what is going on.

I've watched a friend die this past month.

We had lost touch, and to find this out, brought something out in me that I had never experienced before, not even in my grandfather's death, really.

This was grief.

Today was her funeral, and attending it made me finally realize two things. The first of which was that my friend was really gone.

The second was that she had gone home, and that God is holding her hand, and the pain is gone.

I had always wondered about her spirituality, and had never really had the guts to ask her. I found out at her funeral that despite her mother's atheism, she was a believer, and knew Christ, however private she was about it. My heart felt ease at this knowledge.

A friend pointed out something that changed my view on this topic, somewhat.

Sometimes, God puts us in such a state of helplessness, so we can see that we actually need to rely on His goodness and love.

Coming out of this, I miss my friend tremendously, but I realize that in this, God has showed me that I have to endure, and showed me how important His work is in this life. I know what I have to do, and how important it truly is now.

How incredible is God's way of showing us Himself in every aspect of our lives, down to the smallest details?