February 6, 2006

I actually find it funny that, the day after a journey starts to take off, or a new step is made toward progress, a roadblock appears.

That is not to say roadblocks are impassible.

In fact, in this case, the roadblock is very much meant to be passed by and overcome.

This is all a metaphor for today, obviously.

After realizing that God is preparing me for the rebuilding from the rubble that is my old way of living, I woke up today, and nothing worked the way I wanted it to.

I wanted to finish up the rest of my transfer stuff, but I couldn't get ahold of anyone I needed to.

I couldn't find a parking spot to go to my second class.

I was late for work, despite trying very hard not to be, today.

After talking to my boss on the phone, I got a lecture about respect, despite the fact that I went out of my way to sound friendly and down to earth on the phone with him beforehand.

I think God is seeing if I'm truly committed to this.

I have to show that I am.

The devil wants nothing more than to see me fall away from what God has set for me. I won't let that devil get the satisfaction.

I like the fact that my faith is coming to the point where it's something that is simply my life. It's not something I have to remember to think about to believe, it's something that is simply me now. God is my life, and though it still takes work, my whole-hearted belief is no longer something I have to work at to keep. That's not boasting, it's just something I'm, internally, very happy about.

Of course, I know it's not me alone that enabled this internal transformation. I am responsible for the small minority of that work.

I look foward to tomorrow, and what God holds in store for me, be it roadblock, or a smooth road, for now.

Isn't it funny how much thought we place in our faith and how much concentration is placed on deciphering how God works, instead of just letting Him work in us?