February 24, 2006

Sometimes you don't understand how God's plan works on your life.

Other times, it becomes clearer than we could ever hope to imagine.

I say this because I saw some things today that revealed alot about what God has had in store for me over the past few months. What I say, I say in what I see, not in pride or ego.

I decided to stop by my church to wish the youth good luck as they left for a retreat I've gone to for the last four years of my life. This year, I opted to stay home, as it was part of my decision to leave counseling the youth.

As I was talking to the youth boys, I realized something. In leaving and going somewhere else to pursue God's plan for me, these boys had started looking at me as a mentor, instead of the guy that hung out with them at youth group.

It's humbling to me, to see how God is changing my roles in life.

I found myself talking to, and enjoying talking to, one of the parents of the youth, a parent that used to annoy me to no end.

I am learning the patience I have prayed about for so long.

Work became a mundane and arduous task tonight, as I felt my body beginning to wear out on me, from lack of sleep the night before. I think God affected the two of us working though, because we got all of our work done, even so far as to say more properly than normal, and we got out almost forty minutes earlier than usual. God's mercy on our imperfect souls amazes me.

I was thinking tonight, what if not a single person ever read some entries from this journal? Does that matter at all, really? Or is this truly something that God has planned for me to look at, to see His glory in this? I really like to think the latter is more prevalent.

What does our pride matter, if we give thought to it? How much does our ego really matter in how our life transpires? Or rather, if we were to forget our ego in light of God's grace, how much more will we see?