January 1, 2006

Driving in a car, with only the stars surrounding, and welcoming in the new year with only God as your company is perhaps the best way I can think to ever spend the time.

As I couldn't make it to my friend's house before midnight struck, I realized it was a great opportunity to just let God be my company in the first moment of the new year, and I could talk to Him about what's coming up and what I should do.

I got into a discussion today with my grandmother and my father about religion.

It's one of those things I've always loved to talk about, even when I wasn't such a believer as I am now. It's only my viewpoint that's changed as of now.

One of the things that I really find myself at a loss for is words to describe complete faith. I mean faith to the point where you don't think you need to plan your own life for you, that God will take care of the hard part, and get you where you need to be. My father mentioned wanting to have all the stuff he thinks he needs to be happy, and it involved basically managing to just play all his cards correctly and sliding in the door to work things out. I'm at such a loss here. I mean, he's my father and I have no idea at which angle to talk with him about faith. I am no better a person than him. Maybe it's just me wanting to impose how I feel onto him. It's hard to see someone without faith though. Not just in God, I mean, but in anything.

What is really, really a strange and wonderful feeling is when you feel that God talks through you at times, and suddenly you find yourself speaking in terms that you didn't know thirty seconds before they left your lips.

Another thing that I find really amazing when I think about it in hindsight is how God can work the small worries out, too.

I was worried about having nothing to do for New Year's Eve, mostly because I didn't really plan anything in advance. I had pretty much just not planned anything and was worried that I'd just have nothing to do, and no friends to hang out with.

Before I knew it, I was hanging out with some good friends of mine that just happened to be together, and we spent the entire night just enjoying being together and having a good time.

When I look back on that now, I realize that it was definitely God at work to bring us together to see New Year's Eve.

Why do we rely on ourselve to get through life? If the helping hand is so graciously outstretched, why are we so reluctant to take hold?