January 12, 2006

What words can describe the beauty of our God?

The longer I am around, the more I lack the words.

As I write this, I am a mix of so many emotions. Love, fear, confusion, awe.

I was at the point of returning to my old job to ask for hours, in order to pay my bills. My new job was beginning to look like a hobby that payed a tiny part of my bills. This is the amazing part where God is at hand.

As I was coming to terms with the idea that I would have to work two jobs to make payments, I got a phone call this afternoon. On the other end was the manager of my new job, to tell me that one of the other night employees had quit. Following this, he told me that he had me in mind to cover the shifts that employee had been scheduled for for the rest of the month, an average of two to three extra shifts per week, allowing my new job to be the only job I have to work, which is great, in terms of work and spiritual enviroment.

Like I said, I really lack words to describe how beautiful and gracious the Lord our God is.

I am in a dilemma about what is going on with my school right now. A series of events involving myself and my loans have left me technically out of college, in the sense that my courses were dropped for me, due to loans not being fowarded to pay my tuition.

Now, it is not a problem to rectify this and get me back on schedule, but I see two scenarios in my head as a result of this.

The first is that this is God making me have to endure this to see something greater.

The second scenario is that my current university may not be the one for me, and this is a sign of the truth of this.

It is something I will continue to pray about until I receive an answer from Him, but I feel that I may already have my answer, if I look hard enough.

For instance, I just happened to request some information from a school in my town, and got a reply almost immediately. They have since sent me a few pieces of mail basically asking me to come visit and give them consideration.

I feel this all might've happened at one time for a reason.

I have been feeling worn out very often lately, and that the world is pummeling me into submission, trying to get me to give in to it and do satan's will instead of Christ's.

Just as I was feeling the brunt of this, I received my daily verse in my email and it contained Isaiah 40:28-30, which is the following:

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall.