March 2, 2006

Today was a day of revelation and surprise, to say the least.

I woke up, still stressing about the exam I had studied about Wednesday night.

Driving to campus, all I could think about was how unprepared I was for the exam, and how little time I had to study for the exam. I got together with my friend from Wednesday night, and we studied for a while. To our surprise, before everything was said and done, we had three other study partners, all missing things in their studying that we had answers for, and vice-versa. After that amazing happening, we went to go take our exam.

To be honest, the exam itself was a blur of information and spent time, but leaving the exam, I recalled two things. The first is that two of the three questions were two that I had heavily studied, and we only had to do two questions of the three. The second thing I recalled is that I had put down such an amount of information, that there was no way I could have remembered it all on my own, that there is not a possible way that my brief amount of studying could've prepared me that much.

Let me stop there for a moment.

I realize that in this year, so far, there have been many times where it would be easy for God to be portrayed as the God that helps me to pass tests and the God that helps me score a cool job. This is NOT my emphasis on God. Let me, for a minute, emphasize that God is not a superficial God, by any means. When I put things like this down, I mean one thing by this. I need God's help in my life. I mean that there are many, many things in this life that I cannot accomplish on my own, and with the mention of all miracles (I have no other word for them but mircacle), I am only trying to preserve and display the idea that God is merciful, and when I need back-up, and when I can't do something, He is ALWAYS there to help me and get me through what I cannot alone. So if the idea given here is ever that I am looking to God for superficial means, try to keep in mind that this is one aspect of God that I am recording, and in my life, there are many instances of God's love that I can't possibly describe in my words, in the feelings and sights that I couldn't hope to be able to recall for human ears. God is there all the time, period.

That being said, I actually had a discussion with a friend about God and the nature of God, and what our roles as humans are. For a while, we discussed how much logic is placed in how we perceive God, in what God "thinks", what God "decides", and what not. We eventually came to this concensus, and it's a beautiful one at that, to me:

God is beyond any concept we can imagine. We can't have a clue what God's "thoughts" are like, and what His "choices" entail. To put logic to what God is, is to fall infinitely short of what God is. God is awe, God is love, God is incomprehensible. Most of all, God is amazing in His care for us. That is all we need to remember in God, logistically.

Also, tonight was a slow night at work, which was an extreme blessing to my tired mind and body.

What knowledge can we attain that God hasn't created? What discovery can we make that God didn't invent, in Himself?