November 2, 2005

Today was an interesting day.

I guess I expected that in this year, nothing would ever REALLY test my patience and faith.

It seems that when the tests of faith come, they come in full effect. Today was no exception.

At this job, which I am trying hard to rid myself of, I feel that it is a spiritually stifling situation. The money comes before the people, and I know that isn't a part of God. I had been able to deal with that until today. When working, it seemed that most of the customers and people I came into contact to were extremely rude and almost mean. Some of my co-workers were extremely disrespectful and one even talked behind my back to another one about a situation that was talked about as being in extremely different circumstances than what actually occured. This all leads to a crisis.

As a Christian, how do I face a crisis like this? If I show that I've gotten angry at all, am I a bad witness? If the cynicism and crude remarks find a way out, have I failed?

I honestly, after giving it thought, think this was a lesson in grounding me, mentally. I think this was to remind me that I AM still a human, no matter how in touch with God I am, I am never any more than the next man. I am still a sinner, I still make mistakes, and I have to repent.

On a seperate note, I watched more of my hotel being demolished today, and I anxiously await when it is completely cleared, so that I can see the fresh landscape that it creates, much like I await to see the fresh landscape that I hope to see God create in me.

Is our goal to aim for perfection, or is it to admit our humanity? If we strive to be like Jesus, is our sin nature still supposed to truly be a part of us?