November 15, 2005

I wonder how many people remember the first time they actually noticed the moon in the sky. Not just as that thing that sits up there and floats around, but as the breath-taking gift to our eyes that it is. I truly noticed it for the first time tonight. One of those things where God just kind of smacks you in the head and tells you to look up, if for no other reason than because the moonroof is open. It was captivating, to say the least. God is in the sky tonight.

Today I think God pointed out something to me. Our faith is not neverending as humans. Our fire tends to wane after a period. The thing that I see that remotivates me is the faith I see in others. I had forgotten but tonight I remembered what act God used to finally set me ablaze once again for Him, in what appears to be the best yet.

I was actually reading a friend's blog, and they were completely in awe of God and talking about their faith, and for some reason, at that moment, I became extremely excited about my faith again. Suddenly, God made perfect sense again, and everything He said came to willing ears. My point here is the faith of others seems to be one of God's most useful tools to us. If one is spiritually drained, and walks into a room of complete and unabashed faith and worship, I doubt that same person could walk out in the same state of mind. The amazing love that God shares with us through others, and the fire He can build through them is one of the greatest parts of fellowship.

I think God showed me something today. I think He helped me realize something about love. I think over the past few weeks, I have put myself in this hole where I no longer thought that true love was possible, in marriage terms. I don't mean that in the sense that we wouldn't love the person we marry, but in the sense of loving that person beyond all doubt. I think God kind of smacked me on the back of the head today to tell me that it IS possible. It's ok to completely fall head over heels in love with someone else, as long as they are not the top priority. I think God wants me to see that it's ok to devote time to a person, when it IS time, but not all my time, by any means. This came as a shock to my mind, in it's current state. I've gotten so caught on the idea that there is the void that only God can fill, which is absolutely still true, but I think He showed me that there is a place in our heart for the person we are supposed to be with, in marriage, that is sacred as well. This put to rest a problem I had been having with myself for awhile in dealing with the longing to be with another person. God showed me that you can be with the person and Him all at once, simply because when the right person comes along, you will be able to worship Him together, even better than on your own. It's an amazing thing God showed me today, just like He does everyday.

Is it hard to comprehend that the vein in a leaf is God's plan? With all we see around us everyday, how can we believe that so much in the universe relied on chance to form? Can the exact placement of the planet we live on, and it's ability to allow the life that lives on it to continue just be a chance occurance? Why does the idea of investing faith in God seem too arduous and risky, but the idea of placing faith in ideas like a lottery seem so comforting and easy? Why is the sure thing the risk?